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If solemn triuli is what you most desire, 

Read throuorh this volume, and the same admire. 




Here's folly too, if that you'd rather choose; 
Read on and laugh, but don't the truth abnsrn 



WANDERING BOY, 
CAREL.ESS SAIJLOR, 

AND 

RESUZ.T OF INCONSIDERATION. 



A TRUE NARRATIVE. 



BY HORACE LANE. 



Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child ; but the rod of 
correction shall drive it far from him. Solomon. 

And I have lov'd thee, ocean ! and my joy 

Of youthful sports, was on thy breast to be 
Borne, like thy bubbles, onward, from a boyj 
\\i^6y Iwdkdksit were a child of thee. 
^ Byron, 






J'" 



SKANEATELES: # 

PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR BY LrJTHER A, PRATT. 



fijitered, according: to Act of Congress, in the year of our 
Lord one thousand eight hundred and thirty-nine, by Horace 
Lane, in the Clerk's Office of the Northern District oi the State 
<)f New- York. 



INTRODUCTION. 



-T3^Q^^ 



The author is induced to oflfer this work 
to the public, from an inipression that it 
may serve as a beacon on a rock or shoal, 
to give warning to his fellow-beings, espe- 
cially careless youth, that they may duly 
consider their course, and steer clear of 
those quicksands which have caused him 
so much trouble and distress, and in which 
he should have sunk, had he not been res- 
cued by an Almighty arm. Four objects 
he has in view, viz. 1st, self-interest, as the 
infirmity of his corporeal system will not 
admit of agitation ; 2d, he wishes to show 
(by example as well as precept) that there 
is such a thing as internal, heart-felt re- 
formation — the necessity of it, and how he 
got it — yet feeling himself a fallible being ; 
3d, to establish and appreciate the mercy 
of God in his providence, as he has been 



TL 



many times rescued from imminent dan- 
ger ; 4th5 as he has written candidly and 
sincerely, and nothing but what he can at- 
test (as to veracity) in time or eternity, he 
indulges the hope that this little book will 
be extensively perused by the rising gene- 
ration, and so entertain and instruct them, 
as to excite a love for reading, nothwith- 
standing they may here and there discover 
some grammatical inaccuracies. 

RORACE LANE 



THE WANDERING BOt. 



Whore rose the mountains, there to him were friend?: ', 
Where rolTd the ocean, thereoa was his home; 

Where a blue sky and glowing clime extends, 
He had the passion, and the power to roam. 

Bykon, 

I WAS born in Lanesbo rough, state of Massachu- 
setts, in a fertile valley, among the green mountains. 
Asa Lane, my father, was what may be termed a jour- 
neyman farmer, who was eagerly looking ahead for 
an opportunity to gain a foothold'; that is, to get pos- 
session of a spot of ground, that would afford him that 
benefit of his labour which he had to render to oihers. 
He took my mother and me, (the luck}- first born, then 
♦'leven months old,) and moved to Stillwater, county of 
Saratoga, on the west bank of the Hudson river, where 
he commenced the rafting business, and^oon became a 
pilot. But where there is good business, there are ge- 
nerally bad allurements. My father was a sociable, 
free-hearted man, never a day out of empiloyment : but 
lack of discretion, in choosing his company, baffled all 
his efforts to accumulate property : and I, his lucky 
boy, was ill disposed to help him along. One evening, 
he presented me with a little pocket knife which he 
bad purchased for me : I thought then, surely I am a 



lucky boy. The next morning, I went to a clothier'^ 
shop, near by, to sharpen my knife. As I was return- 
ing home, I had to pass close by the bars where the 
doth was stretched to dry ; and thinking it was a good 
place to try my new knife, notwithstanding I knew it 
was wrong, I cut several times across the cloth ; and 
yet I was so stupid and inconsiderate, as to cut the two 
Srst letters of my name m it before I left it. This was 
unlucky for me, as I got detected and severely punish- 
ed, and my father had to pay for the cloth. It would 
lieve been well for me had this been the last dirty trick 
I e^er was trapped in ; but alas ! it was the first, and 
only a small one, as will appear in the sequel of my 
narrative. This happened in the year 1795, when I 
was about six years of age. 

The next indiscreet caper I cut occurred shortly 
after, and bears a somewhat different aspect from that 
of the first. There was a militia muster about half a 
mile from my father's residence; our neighborhood 
was evacuated ; all had gone to see the fun ; I only 
was by some means left at home. There came along a 
man with a small cart, filled with cakes, to dispose of 
at the training; the sight of the sweet cookies excited 
such a desire as I could not at first find means to paci- 
fy. I was not hungry, but there was a sensual craving 
that impelled me to its gratification. All that the man 
wanted for his cakes was chink,, and all that I wanted 
was to know how to get some. Suddenly a prospect 
made its appearance. There was a store directly 
across the road, no one in it, the door locked, but the 
window-shutters open, and to my no small joy there 
was a light of glass broken out. Without hesitatioa, I 



9 

entered the store through the sash, went to the cash de- 
posit, and lifted eleven coppers (halfpence) then cur- 
rent; there lay a silver dollar in the drawer, but an in- 
stinct of nature told me not to take it, for fear of getting 
detected. While I was in this act, I had a mixture of 
feeling not easily described : if you could make a com- 
pound of joy, fear, hope, and dread, and feel it within 
you, you might be able to form some estimate of my 
sensations. This was the seed-time of my life ; it was 
laying the corner-stone of the foundation of my charac- 
ter for years to come. Had I been detected in this act 
by some sincere, faithful friend, who would have suita- 
bly corrected, and reasonably reproved me, and made 
me to understand the demerit and fatal consequences 
pending over such violations of the law, it might have 
been the means of saving me from many troubles by 
which my maturer years were embittered. If I had 
but known or considered that it was not the external 
condition in which I might be placed, but the part I 
should act, upon which my future happiness or misery, 
honour or infamy, would depend; now that I was just 
entering upon the stage of action, how requisite would 
it have been for me to regulate my plan of conduct with 
the most serious attention, before I had committed any 
fatal or irretrievable error. ]f, instead of exercising 
reflection for a valuable purpose, you deliver your- 
selves up, at so critical a time, to disloyalty, for the sake 
of pleasure, and humour yourself to attend to any pur- 
suit for your own amusement; if you allow^ yourself 
to float loose and careless on the young flood of the 
tide of life, ready to receive any direction which the 
current of passion may chance to give you; w^hat can 



10 

j:^ou with any show of reason expect to follow fron^i 
such beginnings? 

My father was strictly moral in his observance of the 
Sabbath, and I was constrained, much against my will, 
to sit mute and hear him read the Bible, and the im- 
pression it made on my mind was, that there is a mighty 
<3rod in the heavens ; when I thought of him, my mind 
Avas impressed with terror, and I had no one to tell me 
how to love him: but these impressions were seldom, 
and not lasting. In t'he month of April, 1795, my 
mother, a!ftera short-illness, expired. 1 w^as as insensi- 
ble of my lo^s as her Hfeless corpse. I was then in my 
seventh year ; and though I feigned solemnity, I in- 
wardly rejoiced, vainly thinking that the restriction to 
my playful desires was removed. But ah ! sad mis- 
take. There were some persons w^ho used to tell me 
that I w^as like a young bear, that my trouble was to 
come. 1 did not believe a word of it, for I always had 
hopes of better times — never anticipated evil — ^viewed 
only the fair ^ide of a prospect, that is, the side where 
I could flatter myself with the enjoyment of happiness 
or self-gratification — thought as little what bearmgs or 
effects my actions had on my fellows-creatures, as the 
trigger of a pistol in the hand of an assassin. 

My father 'broke up housekeeping, which caused a 
separation between his children, a brother and sister 
both younger than myself It fell to my lot to be put 
out to a sturdy, athletic, avaricious farmer and cobbler^ 
from England. They had :no children, and the old 
lady used me pretty fair ; but the old man kept me to 
"the work, as if he employed me by the day in Decem- 
ber, and gave me gr^^at wages. My father was iufeimed 



11 

ot his severit\% and took me from him, which I have 
regretted ever since; for I was contented there, but 
from that time I have constantly had a wandering de- 
sire. I was next placed with doctor Smith, who kept 
a country store, with some drugs in one corner of it ; 
where I was permitted to stay alone sometimes, while 
Mr. Smith went to his meals ; but I do not know that 
he ever missed any thing, though 1 was always well 
stored with raisins, sugar, cinnamon, or something 
suitable to my taste and desire. Here I had a fair 
chance for the improvement of my abilities, as Mr. 
Smith had agreed with my father to send me to school 
till I was sixteen, and then place me as clerk in the 
store. But fate had marked for me a different course, 
There lived at Mr. Smith's a yellow^ girl, about six- 
teen, who did the house work — a mean strumpet, as sly 
as a rat. She was constantly stuffing me with syco- 
phantic nonsense about the great cities, fine ships, gay 
flags, and melodious music ; and there Vv'as another 
family of young folks, that had recently moved from 
New"- York, to whom I listened with open mouth, eyes 
and ears, while they were describing the beauties of 
the cities. All I wanted was wings, and knowledge 
and power to use them. 

VVhen I was about eigbt years and a half old, I took 
a start one morning, and long before night I was de- 
lighting myself on board of a sioop that lay at the wharf 
at what is now called West Troy, a distance of eighteen 
miles from home. But I was closely pursued by my 
father, who conveyed me back to Stiflwater. As doc- 
tor Smith had got sick of me by this time, I had the 
good fortune to be bound out to Mr. Moody, a clothierj 



^2 

a good' place, and clever folks; but the greatest difR- 
culty with them and the pedagogue, was to keep me in 
school, although they knew well enough where to find 
me, as my delight was to be on or in the water. I was 
often routed from among the willows on the edge of the 
river, or from the mill-pond^ where I exerted my skill 
m navigating slabs or sticks of timber (as my ships) 
about the pond ; and I frequently puzzled the larger 
scholars who were sent after me, to catch me, as I 
would get into the middle of the pond and laugh at 
them. I once in a white got a whipping, but all could 
not save me. One afternoon, as I was rambling along 
the bank of the river, through a pleasant grove of young 
hickories that grew by the side of the mill-pond, I lit 
into. a skiff, that was fastened to a tree. Regardless of 
consequences, I cast off the rope that held her, and be- 
gan to exert myself in rocking her, by running from 
side to side ; but soon found something else to attract 
my attention. Some persons, perceiving my danger- 
ous situation, had collected on the bank ; one of them 
called to me to. get my oars out, and row to the shore. 
'* You are going over the dam!" said they. Till then, 
I had paid no attention to which way the skiff was 
driving. When I raised my head, I found myself with- 
in about ten rods of the dam, swiftly approximating it, 
aiid the rapidity of the current increasing. I took hold 
of the oars, (not in the least confused,) made an effort 
to use them, but I lacked skill, laid them in the skiff 
again^ and let her take her own course ; she pitched 
o.ver the dam, where the fall was about six or eight 
feet, and took in about a barrel of water. But this was 
not the wo^rst of that voyage ; I had yet the falls to ga 



1T5 

over, and away she went whirling through the foam 
ing fluid, to the right about one rock, and to the left 
about another ; sometimes the people that stood on the 
shore could not see me, as I was covered with the 
spray. When I got below the falls, I took my oars 
out, and row^d to the shore like an old hand at it. This 
is a big story for a lad eight years and a half old. The 
neighbors said I was a lucky boy, but that they would 
not have been with me in the skiff for a heap of money. 
They said, they guessed I'd make a good sailor. 

Mr. Moody had a brother that had been off soldier- 
ing ; he was a drummer, and brought his music home 
with him; and he heaped on a pile more of illustrious 
stories to what I had already heard. One morning, 
after turning the cow to pasture, I steered along down 
the river, under the bank, to keep out of sight, till I 
got some distance, then made all sail, and before night 
I was in Troy. I soon engaged at play w^ith the boys, 
as unconcerned as if I had been a nobleman's son, and 
before my father's door ; neither had I a thought of my 
situation, till I was covered only by the sable curtain 
of night. My playmates had retired to their homes, 
and I was left, penniless, friendless, and almost sense- 
less, alone in the; street. But my consternation was 
suddenly aroused by the ringing of the church bell for 
nine o'clock. There stood several gentlemen talking 
near the open door of a store. I stepped up to them, 
and inquired what they were ringing that big bell for ? 
for I had never previously heard a bell larger than the 
oae that hung on the old cow's neck. As every spirit 
begets its own likeness, so my question excited the in- 
quisitive powers of the gentlemen ; they gazed intense- 



u 

ly at me, and que of them asked me where I came from. 
It is hot likely I told him the truth, but he took me to 
his home, fed me, and put me to bed.. Next morning, 
after breakfast, he took me with him on board a sloop 
he was loading with lumber for the New^-York market. 
This w^as touching the very string that pleased my 
fancy: I was full of glee, nor did I for a moment think 
of disappointment. 

i had no rule, a silly fool, 

Blind fancy was my guide ; 
No thought nor care how I should far^j 

On time's swift fleeting tide. 

My father, ever watchful, had got track of me. I 
saw him approaching, and made an effort to secrete my« 
^If, but he found me, and I was forced to return wath 
him to Stillwater. It was but a short time after this 
that I took my departure again, and was so fortunate 
as to fall in with an old man at Troy, w^ho took me with 
him on board a sloop to New- York. What he wanted 
of me I never found out ; I was of no use to him or 
any one else, unless it w^as to employ them in keeping 
me out of mischief. One job I gave the old man, by 
clearing out from the sloop, getting on board of a ship 
half a mile off, and keeping him hunting about till he 
found me and brought me back. On our return to 
Troy, a country merchant, a passenger, took a fancy to ^ 
me, and carried me wath him to Hoosack, where I was 
well treated, placed in rank with his children, and was 
quite pleased for a while ; but my wandering propen- 
sities soon returned ; I considered my situation too dull 
and longed for the gayety of the city, and the shipping, 
which principally engaged my attention. 



1.) 

Ships, dium,^, and fifes, were all my life,' 

Gay Hags, and sails unfmi'd ; 
1 thought 't would be my highest glee 

To view some distant world, 

1 left Hoosack, and shaped my course for Troy, 
where I got a good situation with a gentleman and lady 
who had no children ; they treated me as if I had been 
their son, and I was contented for a fortnight, when I 
again made sail, got on board of a schooner, and arrived 
at New- York, where as I was soliciting the captain of 
a fine ship to take me with him to sea, a merchant from 
New Lebanon persuaded me to go home with him, as 
the captain refused to take me, his objection being that 
I was too small. The merchant paid my passage to 
Kinderhook, and I went home with him, where, to pay 
him for his trouble and expense, I staid three weeks. 
Leaving Lebanon, I steered to the eastward, through 
bitter and boisterous storms, over the Pittsfield moun- 
tains, and what was my object I knew not. At every 
house where I stopped, the inhabitants pitied me, w4iich 
I was at a loss to account for, as I considered myself 
well enough off, and felt as independent as a nobleman. 
Some tried to entice me tt) stay with them, but I had 
not yet got to the place that suited my notion. I strayed 
along through Pittsfield, and when the sun was setting, 
I stopped at a house in Partridge field. Here was a 
boy about my age, one that I delighted in as a play- 
mate ; and the boy's father took a liking to me, gave- 
me some good clothes, a ne\v pair of boots, and sent me 
to school whh his son ; but all these favours could not 
induce me to stay longer than a fortnight,, when I again 
cleared, and laid my course for the Hudson river. 



16 

The son of fancy ne'er the truth explores, 
But in excursions ludicrous he soars ; 
He feels no pain nor pleasure but his own. 
Intent to gratify himself alone. 

I had straggled along from house to house, a distance 
of 40 miles, always pitied and assisted ; when I was at 
length accepted and kindly treated by the family and 
slaves of a rich old Dutch widow, whose farm and de- 
lightful situation is on the west bank of the Hudson 
river, four miles north of Hudson. I can now reflect 
back and perceive that where the greatest kindness has 
been shown to me, I have been most ready to conceive 
myself slighted, and take the mifFfor the most frivolous 
cause, or supposed cause. So it was at the widow^s, 
where I was treated as one of the family, which made 
me too forward, so that I would not bear the milde&t 
check. Here I remained for three or four weeks, till 
the ice broke up in the river, when I made sail, and 
steered for Catskill ; here I got on board of a sloop, and 
to effect my design of getting to New- York, told them 
ihat my friends resided at Nantucket. When we ar- 
rived at New- York, the passengers and crew were all 
anxious that I should get a passage home to Nantucket, 
a place that then I had never seen. I next spent about 
one month between New-York and Albany, during 
which time I had many situations, either on board of 
vessels or on shore ; at some of them I staid one day, 
while others could keep me no longer than to give me 
one meal of victuals. I fell in with a raft of timber 
floating down the river, and it appeared pleasant to me 
to see their little shantee and household furniture, and 
they allowed me to stay with them three or four days. 



17 

At Poug-hkeepsie, I f^ot on board of a new sloop, a 
bully sailor, called the Ann Maria, and left her as soon 
as she struck the wharf at New- York. 

The next place I found myself was on board of the 
South Amboy stage-boat. This situation suited me 
well, as I had frequent allernr.te views of the city, the 
shipping-, and the ocean. One day, as we were beating 
through the narrows against a fresh south breeze, it 
was my station (cook like) to tend the foresheet ; this 
duty demanded little strength, but alertness, as the fore- 
sail had to be shifted when the sloop was head to the 
wind, while the sail is shivering. One of the gentle- 
men passengers was watching my motions, unobserved 
by me ; I improved every moment — when not at work, 
I was at play. When we got below the bluff of Sta- 
ten Island, as our course was nearly west, we made a 
fair wind of it, w^hich left me at leisure. The gentle- 
man above mentioned asked me to hand him a glass of 
water, which request was immediately complied with, 
and he put a 25 cent piece into my hand; I thanked 
him, but thought it something remarkable. When we 
arrived at Amboy, he handed me a fowling-piece and 
a cloak, desiring me to take them to the stage-house ; 
this being done,, he met me a short distance from the 
house, and commenced telling me that his name was 
Billetts, that he lived in Scotland, had a ship and cargo 
in New- York, and was going to take a tour through 
the states ; " and if you will (continued he) go with me 
and stay with me, you shall be brought up like a gen- 
tleman, as I have no child, and you shall be my heir." 
This language seemed to suit my inclination, so my 
consent was given without hesitation. He told me to 
2 



18 

Walk slowly along the road, and when the stage ovei-' 
took me, he bade the driver stop the horses, and took 
me in. Now I looked upon myself as indeed a lucky 
boy, being exaked to sit among gentlemen, and drawn 
by four horses. Mr. Billetts suffered me to want for 
rrothing, and the next day we arrived at Philadelphia, 
where he put me to board with one of his countrymen, 
an old acquaintance, who kept a store near the new 
market ; and requested me to call upon him every day 
at ten o'clock at his lodgings, room No. 15, up two pair 
of stairs, in a grand hotel, I forget what street. He 
bought me fine clothes, and gave me money every day, 
for about a month ;= when he told me he was going 
farther south, and asked me whether I had rather stay 
in Philadelphia, or go to New-York. For no other 
purpose than to satisfy my uneasy, wandering disposi- 
tion, my preference was given to New- York. 

He wrote a letter to the man of the family where he 
wished me to stay, its address telling me where to go, 
and gave me money to pay my fare. Upon my arrival 
at New- York, a notion suddenly struck me ; I tore the 
letter up, hove the fragments into the dock, and went 
to searching among the sloops for a situation. Failing 
in this, my next amusement was playing with the boys 
in the Fly market, till a late hour in the evening found 
me alone, friendless and without money. After a short 
consultation in my mind what was best to be done, my 
steps were directed on board of a schooner that lay at 
the wharf; I opened the fore-scuttle, and rolling myself 
in an old sail, fell asleep; onav/akingin the morning, 
I discovered that they had cast off, made sail, and were 
near Hurlgate, bound for Connecticut. The captaii?^ 



19 

was somewhat alarmed, thinking he was taking some 
gentleman's son from the city; but a short conversa* 
tion with me copdnced him that he had committed no 
criminal act. This gentleman also made me fair pro- 
mises, and treated me kindly, requesting me to stay 
with him ; but the restlessness of my mind induced me 
to shift my situation the first opportunity, and get on 
board of a sloop, in which, after stemming the freshet 
in the river several days, we arrived at Hartford. I 
rambled about the city a few hours, admiring every- 
thing that was new to me ; this was in the month of 
May, 1799. Casting a look across the river, a charm- 
ing vernal prospect struck my view ; and without he- 
sitation, or having any definite object, a short time 
found me on the opposite side ; and a delightful coun- 
try it truly is. After straying along a couple of miles, 
I fell in with a rich farmer's dwelling, and as it was 
after sunset, was kindly received ; after answering a 
good many questions from the old gentleman and others 
of the family, in which the old lady took no inconsi- 
derable part, an invitation was made me to stop and 
make my home with them. This was a good place, 
and it might have been well for me to accept the offer ; 
but there came along a young man in quest of work, 
whom the old gentleman hired, and he told such a great 
story about a fine large new ship just launched and 
fitting out at Middletown, where they wanted two hun- 
dred men and boys, that my wandering ideas were 
again excited ; the thought of getting among such a 
jolly group fixed my determination ; and falling in 
with a vineyard boat at Hartford, in two hours I was 
safe onboard of the U. S. ship Connecticut. 



20 

This step furnished me with a different method of 
wandering-, for though compelled to stay on board, my 
roving was extensive. By the mismanagement of the 
officers, the ship was capsized, and filled with water, 
before we left Middletown, and all hands were busily 
employed in getting her upright, and free from water 
again. This accident put me out of conceit of the ship, 
so much so that I told the officers I w^ould not go to 
sea in her ; "for," said I, " if she capsizes here in a mill- 
pond, what will you do with her on the ocean ?" This 
remark caused some sport for the officers, on account 
of my youth, being then only ten years of age ; had a 
man made it, it would have attracted less notice. Not- 
withstanding my thoughts were bent on getting away, 
I was compelled to stay on board, while they got the 
ship to New-London, where they took in ballast, stores, 
provisions, arms, and ammunition ; recruited sailors, 
completed the crew, got sailing orders, up with the 
anchors, spread the sails, and steered our course for 
the West Indies. As it was after dark before we got 
clear of the land, I felt no sea sickness before turning 
out of my hammock in the morning. Finding myself 
on a lively foundation, I was glad to cling to one of the 
cannon to prevent my falling, and gazed out of the port- 
hole. The breeze blew fresh ; nothing was to be seen 
but the clear sky, with here and there a drifting cloud, 
and the foaming billows following each other in mar- 
tial array and quick succession, flourishing their curly 
pates and dashing them against the ship, as if to say, 
' What do ye on my premises V ' Sure enough,' thought 
I, * what do I here ? O that I were on dry land in my 
native Stillwater,' But something else soon occupied 



21 

my mind ; it was a slap alongside of my head from an 
officer, who, with an imprecation, ordered me to go 
below and help to get the officers' breakfast ready. 
*' Breakfast," thought I; "if they felt like me, they'd 
not care much about breakfast." Down I went into the 
ward-room, where an officer handed me a pile of earth- 
en dishes, telling me to go on deck, and wash them ; 

adding, '' and d you, see that you fall and break 

them all," (meaning that I should not break them.) 
Up I started, got half way to the galley, (the place 
where the cooking is done,) the ship gave an extra 
lurch, and pitched me into the lee scuppers, dishes and 
all, breaking about two-thirds of them. Having ga- 
thered up the whole ones, cleaned them, and returned 
with them to the ward-room, the officer that handed 
them to me, perceiving that I had met with a misfor- 
tune, exclaimed, " You d — d young son of a b — h, I 
told you to mind and break them all ; now I'll flog you 
for not obeying me." Another officer who was present 
interceded for me, saying, " I think the boy has done 
d — 'i well; if you always get obeyed as well as that, 
you need not grumble." This got me clear of the 
drubbing — the lucky boy yet. 

A few nights after w^e left the land, we were visited 
with a short but stiff gale; it came on us sudden and 
unexpected ; there was great bustle and confusion, 
taking in and reefing sails; with vociferous bawling 
from the officers, and dolorous mourning among the 
green hands. To me, lying strung up in my hammock, 
under the spar-deck, it was terrific to hear the wind 
whistle through the masts and rigging, the waves 
dashing, the water swashing over and under and all 



22 

around me, the ship heaving and tumbling as if she 
would strain herself asunder, or turn keel up. So it 
appears to the novice, but it is nothing to them that are 
used to it. After every thing was got snug, and the 
bustle a little abated, I heard an officer say, " She rides 
like a duck." These words greatly revived my fear- 
ful spirit, and are always fresh to my recollection ; for 
I was crouched all in a heap in my hammock, and 
durst not take a long breath, for fear it would be my 
last one. The next visible object to harass my mind, 
and excite my fear, was a strange ship in sight ; and as 
we approached her, the cry rang through our ship, 
*• She is a Frenchman." All hands were summoned 
to quarters; it was clear away the guns — huzza, boys, 
blood for breakfast; there were rammers, sponges, 
wads and shot ; round, grape, double-headed, canister, 
and langrage; and Pilgarlic (I shall occasionally as- 
sume this title, to avoid the monotonous sound of the 
first person singular,) had to appear as brave as the 
rest, with cartridge-box slung about my neck; but my 
inclination was to keep at a distance from the French- 
man, as she was supposed to be. As our ship was a 
remarkably fast sailer, we soon got within hail, and to 
my no small joy, she proved to be an English merchant 
ship. 

We steered on for the windward West India station, 
till we were in latitude 23 J north, when father Nep- 
tune made his horrible appearance. He said he was 
determined to have the youngest boy in the ship, and 
Pilgarlic thought he was a gone chicken ; but I got 
clear by having my face lathered with tar and hen 
manure, and scraped with an iron hoop ; it took m^ 



three hours to clean myself, and thought myself lucky 
at that. Our ship soon became a terror to the French 
privateersmen, as she was a swift sailer ; it was anima- 
ting- to see her run ] just give her a breeze so that the 
topmasts would bend a litile, she w^ould lay over so that 
the lee guns would titter along on the top of the water ; 
then if a French vessel wa-s ahead, he was a gone era- 
poo. We w€r€ cruising about the island of Deseada, 
and espied a sail one night, gave chase to her, and in 
less than an hour gave her a shot to bring her to ; she 
proved to be a French privateer brig of 18 guns, and 
160 men ; we ran alongside of her, and she gave Vis 
battle. We gave her a broadside. I delivered my 
cartridge to the charger of the gun I belonged to, and 
started t-e the after hatch, Avhere the powder was hand- 
ed Hp, for atiotlier; they were not quite in readiness in 
the cai1;ridge-room, and Pilgarlie, with other powder 
boys, had to stand for a few moments idle. These 
were doleful moments for me^* the flashes of fire-arms 
in the night make a terrific illumination to an idle by- 
stander; my -thoughts were, "Alas, alas! we are ail 
dead men ! why don't our captain surrender ?" But 
«one of the men from the gun I belonged to soon put a 
stop to these sensations by a slap alongside of my head, 
adding, *' Why don't you bring powder, you young 
«on of a b— -h T^ I w^as busy enough, and entirely 
destitute of fear during the remainder of the action, 
which was of short duration, wlien at length the joyful 
sound rang through our ship, " We have got another 
fine prize." But it was not Pilgarlic's fault. The 
Bible tells us not to love in word and in tongue, but 
ifcat's the only way I ever could fight; bold enovigfe 



24 

when on shore in a grog-shop, or where there was no 
danger. Several were killed on board of the French 
brigv although not one of our men was hurt; and it is 
true and worthy of notice, that in the many skirmishes 
we had during the twelve months that we cruised in 
the West Indies, never a shot struck our ship, nor was 
there a man killed or wounded — and we chased vessels 
so close to the forts and batteries on Guadaloupe and 
other French islands, that their cannon balls flew all 
around us, and struck so close that the water flew over 
the ship's sides upon the deck. This might be termed 
being lucky boys. But my mind was often vexed and 
agitated, as we frequently sailed so near the islands that 
I could (like Moses of old) behold the delightfully 
chequered scenes of hill and vale, without being able 
to get there ; thousands of birds flying where they 
pleased, and why was I not formed and supplied with 
wings ? 

Alas ! I thought myself a poor unlucky boy, 
Doom'd thus to view, but nothing to enjoy* 
The body bound, the spirit must obey, 
And all that's life in bondage to the clay : 
To be confin'd for twelve long months or more^ 
Afloat on wood, and never feel the shore. 
Reviving hope sustained me everyday,. 
This hope was for a chance to get away. 

One day, as we lay at anchor at St. Christopher's, I 
asked the captain to let me go on shore, which he re- 
fused, his objection being that he was afraid of my get- 
ting into bad compan}^ He was truly my friend — one 
of the finest men, as to morals,, that ever crossed the 



25 

ocean ; his name was Moses Tryon ; his dwelling was 
in Weathersfield, Connecticut. Often when the ship 
was riding majestically through the waves, he would 
call me to him, tell me how to behave myself in order 
to become a noble character, and point out to me, in 
the most pellucid colors that language could exhibit, 
the fatal consequences of vain habits ; adding, *' What 
a fine thing it would be for you to have command of 
such a ship as this when you become a man !" This 
language to me w^as as vanity and folly ; and I told 
him that was impossible, for my father was a poor man ; 
thinking that none but the wealthy could be promoted. 
He endeavoured to convince me of my mistake, but all 
his efforts to save me w^ere useless and lost. We took 
four French privateers, retook seventeen merchantmen, 
chased one on shore and set fire to her, by which she 
was consumed ; we chased several others on shore near 
the French batteries, and w^ere compelled to leave them, 
as their cannon balls were to be avoided. 

When commodore Truxton arrived at St. Christo- 
pher's, (in the President, a bran splinter new ship,) 
our captain made application to him to let our ship re- 
turn to the States ; but he told him to go and cruise for 
a month under the lee of Guadaloupe, and try to catch 
a French sloop of w'ar, that was expected shortly to 
sail from under the cover of the cannon on their foi'ts. 
We proceeded according to orders, but without sue-, 
cess ; as the Frenchman thought himself safer lying 
at anchor near the batteries than out at sea. She sailed 
ten days after our cruise was up, in company with a 
fleet of privateers; if we had staid till then, w^e could 
have tried the force of speed, or death or imprisonment 



26 

but we were the lucky boys. She had 24 cannon, 
much heavier than ours, though we had 26, and had 
double the number of men that we had. She was cap- 
tured by the American frigate Boston, capt. McNeil, 
shortly after. Great joy was experienced when the 
tidings rang through the ship, *' We are going home, 
we are going home!" every thing went on with ala- 
crity, and cheerfulness beamed in every countenance. 
We had to take a round to several islands, to gather 
the merchant vessels that w^ere in readiness and home- 
ward bound, some of which had been waiting for some 
time, but did not dare to venture out, for fear of getting 
nabbed by the French privateers. We collected about 
50 sail of merchant vessels, shaped our course for the 
States, had a pleasant passage till we got near the coast 
of Long Island, where we had a short severe gale, like 
the one we encountered about the time we left those 
waters ; but with little or no damage we sailed in, and 
came to anchor at New-London. Our ship, that had 
for sixteen months been a constant scene of bustle, and 
some of the time confusion, suddenly became as silent 
as an evacuated bee-hive:; each one sought for the first 
opportunity to get on shore, and Pilgarlic was not the 
hindmost; the taverns, grog-shops, boarding-houses, 
and brothels, were all in readiness to receive them. 

There was gingling of glasses, the music did play, 
The landladies' daughters weredress'd fine and gay, 
^Twas all to entice sailors' money away; 
Ten dollars scarce lasted one night and next day. 
So ho ! sailors, jolly bold fellows, learn to be sober 
a^d wise. 



27 

Pilgarlic, with the rest of the boys, went to a board- 
ing-house, where each one of us was not backward in 
exhibiting our bravado, as w^e could boast as much as 
all hands besides ; and, monkey like, all that we had 
heard or seen practised by the sailors, we thought it 
becoming in us to say and do. A number of the young 
sailors hired horses, and some of them carriages, took 
each his fancy girl with him, to ride out and recreate 
at a tavern about three miles in the country. Pilgar- 
lic thought these were brave actions. I went to capt. 
Tryon, with a face as long as a mule, and told him I 
wanted some money to pay the tailor for some clothes, 
when he, without any suspicion of intrigue, gave me 
six dollars ; but the tailor might sing Robin Hood's 
song. I hired a couple of horses, one for myself and 
another for a fancy playmate, a sailor boy; when we 
mounted and rode off into the country, as stout as ever 
Napoleon could. We stopped at a tavern, where I 
called for dinner and some milk punch. Although I 
had as yet drank very little liquor, the sweetness of the 
punch induced me to take down so much that my con- 
sort was forced to leave me, being obligated to return 
the horses that night. How great was my surprise, on 
awaking next morning in a strange room ! Shortly 
after breakfast, my comrade came riding along with 
the two horses, and w'e returned to New-London. 

When captain Tryon heard of my vain, foolish ca- 
reer, he sent for me, and took me to board at a decent 
place, where he himself and some of our officers 
boarded Here again Pilgarlic was at home — the 
lucky boy — for they had a daughter about my age, 
with whom I became very intimate, wTnt to dancing- 



28 

school with her, and sleigh-riding with her and her 
elder brother ; and we had such a fair understanding, 
that we were only separated while it was bed time. 
If there was mischief done, and any person said it was 
Pilgarlic, she would not believe them, though it was 
frequently true. Captain Tryon endeavoured to per- 
suade me to go home with him, and go to school with 
his children. I had a sensation of mind telling me it 
would be for the best to comply with his invitation ; 
but an opposite, stronger desire impelled me to be a 
sailor, to wander, not contemplating for what, 

** Reason in common life is man's best guide, 
His dearest friend when galling ills betide ] 
Reason views objects as they truly are, 
And will rich ways and means of grace prepare ; 
But heated fancy, toss'd by hectic fits, 
Upon an airy throne unsteady sits. 
While fancy revels in ideal state, 
Sage reason labours to be truly great. 
Gay fancy pictures her Elysium here, 
But reason seeks a more exalted sphere." 



THE AUTHOR, AT TWELVE YEARS OF AGE, ON 
BOARD A BRITISH MAN-OF-WAR. 

" I know what the world is, how vain its delights, 

How transient and fading its joys: 
Its banquets are poisoned; the smile that invites, 

Allures to the gulf that destroys." 

After taking a twelve months' cruise on board the 
United States ship Connecticut, among the West India 



29 

Islands, about the year 1799; I thought myself a sail- 
or. Full of business, and hard at it; no more to do 
than a puppy, and about as careless and stupid ; the 
good counsel of my late captain and his officers, ^Yho 
had observed the alertness of my motions, and the in- 
stability of my mind, was rejected by me. They knew 
that the only thing wanting to make a man of me 
was a guide. 

I thought 1 knew as much as they, 
And gave my mind to constant play ; 
I thought it brave to join the throng, 
And hear the drunken sailor's song. 

But soon my little stock of cash was expended; the 
last cent was quite out of my reach ; and the people of 
the house who boarded me, w^ere no longer my friends; 
so there w^as nothing for me to do, but to range the 
streets by day, and sleep where there was a chance of* 
fered at night. But the company with whom it was 
my lot to associate, gave me instructions how to get a 
little change occasionally ; and thoug h the plan appear- 
ed to me rather disgraceful, yet the strong and ardent 
desire possessed by me for the pleasure that a few shil- 
lings would purchase, induced me to commence their 
practice; which was, hunting for old iron; and we 
could easily dispose of it: but as old iron became scarce, 
and it was, no iron, no money, we accidentally picked 
up a new iron bolt; and, if a copper one lay in the 
way, it w^ould stick to our fingers. As it was my cus- 
tom to do business with all my might, they seldom 
found me behind hand; so it was in this case; my col- 
leagues found me ahead of them; which was, of course, 



30 

noticed by those who, it was my intention, should 
know nothing about it. The mate of a new ship nab- 
bed me, while on my way to the shoie, with my shirt 
bosom full of iron bolts ; he took me down into the 
ship's hold, gave me a severe flogging, and shut me up 
there all night. So much for getting into bad compa- 
ny. Never was my heart hardened in any of my vile 
acts. My inclination was bad, it is true; but habit and 
necessity were my chief inducements; and every time 
conscience waked up, he reproved me; but he was 
such a sleepy head that he could not be kept awake ; 
for self-gratification was my master, and would seldom 
let me disturb him ; and Mr. Conscience, when he was 
awake, could not see clearly half of the time ; for he 
was blinded by sympathy and generosity, and made 
me think I was doing well enough. Said he, " You 
feel for your fellows, and are willing to help them if 
you can, when they need it." One rainy day, as I 
strolled along the wharves, a schooner, laden with cat- 
tle, and ready for sea, attracted my notice ; w^hich in- 
duced me to go on board of her, and descend into the 
steerage, where the sailors were at dinner. They ap- 
peared to be very comfortably situated, and I longed 
to add one to their number ; and began an innocent 
discourse with them. A partition, with an open door, 
was all that separated the cabin from the steerage. — 
The captain and mate heard and took notice of what 
I said, and I was accepted as cabin boy. We put to 
sea with a stiff north-wester, the next morning ; and 
the land, to us, was soon invisible ; the wind increased, 
and of course the billows, as we lengthened our dis- 
tance from shore. The vessel was half the time com- 



3i 

pletely under water. Some of the cattle were drowned, 
and the rest were bellowing- when they could get 
breath. The crew were pale and horror-struck ; and 
I was very sea-sick; the comfortable prospect that pre- 
sented itself but the day before, was vastly and sadly 
reversed. I would have given all the world to have 
been in some farmer's stable. The captain befriended 
me, and even took me into his berth to sleep with him. 
His name was Bernham, of Norwich, Connecticut. 
We scud the little schooner before the wind and sea ; 
that is, the v;aves ; and she run like a grampus, for a 
few days ; w^hen w^e got into fine weather, and the re- 
mainder of our passage was pleasant. 

When we arrived at the island of St. Vincent, I was 
indulged by the captain with liberty to go on shore as 
often as I pleased ; and t visited sugar and rum planta- 
tions, w^here the poor slaves w^ould gather around me, 
to see the pickajiene buckarah; that is, the little white 
boy. The old negroes would kiss their hands, (a hea= 
then form of , worship,) and beg for a trifle to buy to- 
bacco. Their humble actions so impressed me with a 
sense of their suffering and depraved condition, that I 
frequently took provisions from on board the vessel 
that I belonged to, and disposed of it, to get a little 
change to share out among them. I took the small 
boat, one morning, and went alongside of a droger ; 
that is, a vessel for conveying produce around the 
island, to g^t some fire. The captain of the droger 
asked me some questions — hov/ I liked the vessel I 
belonged to, w^hat wages I had, &c. I replied that my 
situation was comfortable, and my w^ages four dollars 
per month. " What/' said he, ** such a boy as you are 



32 

get ouly four dollars a month ? I want a boy, and 
would give you seven. '^ I told him I wanted to go 
home and go to school '* ril let you go to school half 
of the time/' said he; ^* I only want you to stay on 
hoard while I am on shore, and take care of things." 
This prospect was favourable in my estimation, and af- 
ter breakfast I told captain Bernham that I wanted to 
leave him. Ho feelingly advised me for my own be- 
nefit to stay, but my unbending will refused to comply, 
and I foolishly left what little clothes I had, (excepting 
those I had on,) and went on board of the droger* 
One little incident that happened to me on board the 
last vessel, I must relate. 1 had got into a ridiculous 
habit of inconsiderate, profane swearing ; we had a 
steady going old man on board, who often reproved 
me, and I as often acknowledged my fault, and pro- 
mised to break myself of the bad habit. One day, as 
the old man had occasion to put me in mind of my fre- 
quent prom ses, I proposed a plan whereby his warn- 
ings might prove to me more lasting. The plan Was, 
that the first time he heard me swear, he should take 
a rope's end, and strike me as severely as he had a mind 
to do. He readily agreed to my proposal, and said he 
should promptly fulfil it. '^ Agreed," said I. The 
next morning, my foolish passion was excited in kin- 
dling the fire in the caboose, and 1 began to rave and 
curse wood, fire, smoke, and any thing that came in 
iny mind ; but ere I was aware, I received a lick across 
my back that made me smart sorely, but increased my 
passion. I swore still harder, and the old man struck 
harder ; and as I repeated oaths, he repeated blows. 
Although I held out for some time, I was at length 



33 

constralQed, much against my will, to do it, and 1 
complained that he had hurt me very much. *' None 
too much ;'* said the old man ; '* it was your own bar- 
gain, and I hope you'll keep the profits.'' My situation 
on board the droger was vastly different from what the 
captain had represented; he was a hard case— an old 
drinking sailor, of little learning, and less sense, as re- 
gards humanity. He could swear as roundly as any 
thing in human shape; and, with horrid imprecations, 
he would often say to me, *' You want to go to school, 

do you, you d d yankee son of a b — h ?" and so 

he continued to tantalize me. He gave me many 
severe floggings, for trifling, frivolous, innocent ges- 
tures, or omissions of duty ; sometimes he would stay 
at home, while we made a trip ; which, in a measure, 
alleviated for the time, my condition. But, there were 
other difficulties, almost as bad, to be borne with. As all 
on board were blacks, and slaves, their allowance of 
provisions was scanty, and mine was among theirs : 
and as some of those blacks had wives on shore, with 
whom they w^ished to share their rations, there was con- 
stant contention among them, and 1 had to sit mute, 
and take what they chose to give me ; I could frequent- 
ly sing Robinhood's song; *' Little comes to my 
share.'' No friend was near, in w^hose ear I could 
breathe with confidence my complaints, who would in 
any degree sympathize with, or feel for me. So much 
for inconsideration. 

A servant of a servile slave, 

Who would my situation crave? 

A child of folly doom'd to be 

By folly punish'd constantly. 



u 

After staying on board the droger about six weeks^ 
I got on shore one night, and made tracks to a small 
port called Kelaquaw, a distance of six miles. At that 
place I got on board of a large British West-Indiaman, 
called the Eclipse. Some of the sailors of that ship*s 
company were so ignorant, and so inveterate against 
the Yankees, that always when half drunk, they would 
display their valour in taking vengeance on me ; and I 
got many a thump, attended by the imprecation d — d 
Yankee, and frequently had to secrete myself, while, 
with oaths that designated the spirit of fiends, they'd 
rave through the ship in search of me. I soon em- 
braced an opportunity that presented itself, while I was 
on shore helping to fill water casks, hid myself in a 
cane field till night, then steered my course for King- 
ston, where I had left the droger. The schooner in 
which I came from America had long been gone on her 
return home, and there was no American vessel in the 
port. All the clothes I had were a check shirt and a 
pair of Russia duck trowsers, which I had on, (and it 
would have been r job for a washerwoman with a pound 
of soap tofind out their original colour,) no hat or shoes. 
In this predicament I traced the streets and about the 
market, exposed to the scorching sun by day, and the 
chilly air by night, sleeping on stoops or under old 
boats turned bottom up on shore, for about three months. 
My miserable condition was more realized by a num- 
ber of black women than it was by myself; for they 
frequently would call me as I was passing, and give me 
a few mouthfuls of something to eat from their scanty 
allowance, while the genuine pearly tears of sympathy 
would trickle down their sable cheeks. You need not 



ask me why I am an abolitionist, for language is inca- 
pable of expressing my gratitude to the oppressed peo- 
ple with the dark skin. With the deepest emotion and 
anxiety of soul, each morning when I awoke, I would 
flatter myself that I should behold some American ves- 
sel in the bay, that had ai rived during the night ; and 
when disappointed, I would go to the nearest eleva- 
tion, where I could extend my vision on the smooth 
bosom of the blue deep, and, with intense gaze, stand 
awhile and return to the market, with a familiar, 
heavy, and dejected mind, and contemplate something 
iike this : 

Alas, that my mother was summoned away, 
To leave me to hard-hearted strangers a prey : 
What peace could my father one moment enjoy. 
If he knew but the fate of his wandering boy ? 

I once had a home ; yes, I once had a sire. 
Who readily granted each needful desire ; 
Now, to feed on the husks is my only employ, 
While there's few that will pity a wandering boy. 

While the rich are supplied by the swell of the sail, 
Over oceans brought wide, urged on by the gale ; 
Pinching hunger, and want, all my peace does de- 
stroy, 
None but slaves will assist a poor wandering boy. 

At last there came to anchor in the bay a British 50 
gun ship—a King's ship, full of troops. 1 saw her boat 
approaching the shore ; and I reluctantly moved to- 
wards the place where she landed, casting a wishful 



36 

eye towards the ship, thinking she would be a home 
for me, at least till I could get to some place where 
there were American vessels; when I intended to de- 
sert again: but my heart felt sad with the thoughts of 
going on board of a British man-of-war ; as the ill 
usage I had recently received from some of their sub- 
jects, was fresh on my memory, and some of the marks 
visible. As I stood not far from the boat, in medita- 
tion, an officer (Mr. Smith, the sailing master,) step- 
ped up towards me, and said — *< What ship do you 
belong to, boy ?'^ Confused with fear and anxiety, I 
told him, " None." He then called a sailor from the 
boat, who picked me up, and conveyed me to the 
boat, receiving his orders to deliver me to Mrs. Smith, 
bis lady. The lady was happy at my appearance ; for 
she had been without a boy some time : and with my 
dinner she urged me to drink so much wine, that I be 
came very much intoxicated, and fell asleep. When I 
awoke, the first flash of sensation was like a soul born 
to gasp, and die. Oh, the sad gloom that hovered round 
my soul ! Alas ! I am in bondage. 

Far distant the land, which would yield me delight, 
Though the sunbeams in this, shines to others so bright, 
In a whale of confusion, I am doomed to share ; 
And to please a proud mistress, must be all my care. 
My will to her fancy must constant be true. 
While self-satisfaction comes seldom in view ; 
Not a glimpse of the cause in myself could I find, 
As conscience, my pilot, was sleeping, or blind. 

One prevailing method of conforming subjects to a 
man-of-war is, the allowance of grog ; it has a riveting 



37 

gvasp on the sailor. The bustle of duty keeps his mind 
in employ : but the thoughts of grog makes his heart 
leap for joy. "The consequences of drunkenness are 
Ireadful; but the pleasures of getting drunk are cer- 
tainly ecstatic. While the illusion lasts, happiness is 
complete ; care and melancholy are thrown to the wind . 
and Elysium, with all its glories, descends upon the 
dazzled imagination of the drinker. But what are the 
sensations of incipient drunkenness? First, an unusual 
serenity prevails over the mind ; and the soul of the 
votary is filled with satisfaction. By degrees he is 
sensible of a soft, and not unmusical humming in his 
ears, at every pause of the conversation. He seems to 
himself to wear his head lighter than usual upon his 
shoulders. Then a species of obscurity, thinner than 
the finest mist, passes before his eyes, and makes him 
see objects rather indistinctly. The lights begin to 
dance, and appear double. A gayety and warmth are 
felt at the same time about the heart. The imagina- 
tion is expanded, and filled with a thousand delightful 
images. He becomes loquacious, and pours forth, in 
enthusiastic language, the thoughts which are born as 
it were within him. Some will tell the pleasure there 
is felt in being drunk ; this, however, is not the most 
exquisite period of the pleasure of inebriation. The time 
is, when the person is neither drunk nor sober, but 
neighbour to both. The moment is, when the ethereal 
(emanations begin to float around the brain — when the 
fr;oul is commencing to expand its wings, and rise from 
earth — when the tongue feels itself somewhat loosened 
in the mouth, and breaks the previous scene of solitary 
gloom, which may have been deep and. oppressing. 



38 

Many a man becomes a drunkard by necessity, who 
was never so inclined by nature — who is perhaps a 
person of amiable disposition, whom misfortune has 
overtaken, and who, instead of bearing up manfully 
against it, endeavours to drown his sorrows in liquor. 
It is an excess of sensibility, a partial mental weak- 
ness, an absolute misery of the heart, which drives him 
on. Drunkenness, with him, is a consequence of mis- 
fortune." I was depressed in spirit ; 1 longed to see my 
father, sister, brother, and my native land. My mis- 
tress, to soothe my dejected spirit, (for she knew it 
well,) would compel me to drink frequently a glass of 
good old Jamaica rum ; if it had not been good, I never 
should have learned to drink, for good as it was, I de- 
tested the taste of it. This may suffice to show how I 
became a drunkard, or at least started to be one. Alas I 
I expect too many know it by experience, who may 
keep sober long enough to read this book through ; 
so ril go on with my story. 

I fared pretty well along for a while, till the other 
boys began to cast their slang at me for having the 
misfortune to be a Yankee. I bore it for a ^vhile, till 
I got angry and had to fight ; but that was not the 
worst of it. I had to take a flogging, by order of an 
officer, for flogging my opponents ; the officer reproved 
the other boys ; but it was like the captain of the Little 
Belt, who was reproved by the British government for 
meddling on our coast, lost his commission as captain 
of a sloop of war, and got another for a 64 gun ship. 
So I had to stand the brunt, and fight it out, though I 
never was a fighter. I seldom ever fought till I was 
penned up in a corner, and got a blow or two. 



39 

The business of our ship (which was called the 
Coramandel) was to convey troops on an expedition to 
St. Bartholomew's, St. Martin's, St. Eustatia, St. 
Thomas', and St. Croix. These islands we captured 
from the Danes, Swedes, and French, about the year 
ISOl. They surrendered without much fighting, and 
I thought there was not much need of it, for the yellow 
fever \vas taking them off 40 or 50 in 24 hours; 60 of 
the soldiers' wives died out of our ship, besides the 
men. After transporting troops from one island to an- 
other a few months, we went to Barhadoes, where we 
took on board a governor for the island of Curacoa, and 
a regiment of troops for the same place. Our passage 
was very pleasant, as it was all before the wind, and I 
embraced all the leisure time I could get to be aloft, on 
the look out for land. One day, as I was seated oo the 
royal yard, in a playful humour, I sung out in a low 
tone of voice, '* Land, ho!" but was suddenly seized 
with trembling fear upon being asked by the captain, 
*' Where away ?'^ i had to tell him that I saw no 
land, and that I did not think he would hear me from 
where I was. I feit sure of a flogging, but was hap- 
pily disappointed, as all the punishment I got was to 
stay where I was ti4l I could see the land ; and most 
assuredly I should hav-e had to stay up there a week, 
had not the land hove in sight; but I caught a view 
of it in less than an hour, and once more avoided a flog- 
ging, which about that time I was commonly well 
stocked with, and coutd spare one at any time. One 
cause of my getting frequently flogged was, my mis 
tress was very partial to some of the sailors, Scotch- 
meUs her Hcountryraen, and she would often slyly treat 



40 

theisi, by which means her husband's stores were too 
suddenly diminished ; each bottle in the case was well 
noticed by Mr. Smith, and she always shoved the blame 
on me, telling him that I was a little Yankee thief, and 
sold the rum, when her back was turned, for fruit. If 
I had sold but half as much as she drank, I might have 
been constantly supplied with fruit, but I never sold a 
drop. 

The town and harbour of Curaeoa is worthy of hav- 
ing a description given of it by an able, cultivated 
mind, and I am sorry that I am not the one ; but I am 
under the obligation of doing what I can. It is small 
and barren, having a large town situated on each side 
of the entrance of a harbour on the south side. It lies 
in the Carribean sea, about 20 miles distant from the 
mainland of South America. Its numerous inhabitants 
are supported by traffic between other nations and 
South America ; they are a mixed mess of mongrels^ 
originating chiefly from Hollanders, Spaniards, and In- 
dians, having a tongue or language of their own. fl 
was a glorious sight for them lo see so large a ship as 
ours, sail through the entrance of the harbour that was 
directly through the town ; and the siglit was no less 
glorious for us to see the windows crowded, the houses 
covered, and the wharves and shipping full of gazing 
spectators, who had never seen so larg-e a ship in the 
harbour before. After sailing a distance cf one mile, 
through a passage not more than three times the length 
of our ship in width, we immersed into a large bay, 
and came to anchor about half a mile distant from the 
shore, perfectly land-locked, where the water was as 
SEiooth as a mill-pond, having the appearance of a lake 



41 

Debauchery and intemperance of every kind are ex 
tensively practised tliere. The females came on hoard 
to see the sailors by scores, and their dancing, songs, 
and actions, Avere pleasing to such as were void of mo- 
rality. While we were sailing through the town, I ob- 
served a number of American vessels lying at the 
wharves, and my mind was in constant operation, con- 
triving a plan to desert and get on board of one of 
them. There were numerous ravenous sharks in the 
harbour, that often made their appearance around our 
ship, and we lay at a distance of two miles from the 
town ; so that an attempt to swim that distance, was 
a hazard I feared to undertake. 

It was proposed to me one day, by a young mulatto, 
of our ship's company, that we could swim ashore to 
the land that was nearest to, and exactly ahead of the 
ship, and from thence walk to the town. This plan I 
had previously in contemplation, but there stood a fort 
and garrison on a hill near where I should have to land, 
and I feared being detected by the sentinel ; and more- 
over. I wanted company, for my courage failed wlien 
it came night, after resolving to try it through the day, 
and I rejoiced to heur the young man's proposal- We 
lay that evening on the foiecastle by ourselves, contri- 
ving our plans of escape, till about eleven o'clock, when 
all on board were apparently asleep, except one senti- 
nel, who was walking the quarter-deck. We stripped 
otf our shirts and trovvseis, rolled tliem snug together, 
tied them on the back of our necks, and very silently 
lo^.vered ourselves into the water by a rope. While 
ihus immersing into the water, naked, and unp'Otected 
from the sharks, a most lionible, thrilling sensation of 



42 

fear seized me in every part of my system, that almost 
deprived me of the power of action ; but a fresh sup- 
ply of courage, so much needed, soon came to my as- 
sistance, and I struck out after my consort, who was al- 
ready a few strokes ahead of me, pulling for the shore ; 
and, as in the case of Daniel of old with the lions, the 
Lord shut the sharks' moulhs, and we reached the shore 
in safety. We crept along the shore among the rocks, 
in silence, till we got some distance from the fort, and 
as we were passing it, we could hear the sound made 
by the sentinel's feet as he walked to and fro. "When 
we had walked about half a mile, to our sad dismay, 
another difficulty made its appearance; for alas I we 
were on an island, and the alternative was, swim again 
or be apprehended, as we could find neither boat nor 
canoe ; so we tied our clothes on our necks, as before, 
and swam across, a distance, I suppose, of one- 
fourth of a mile. While I was making my way to land 
among the rocks, I stepped on a sea egg. This is a 
species of the testaceous order ; they are of oblong form, 
about as large as a man's fist, covered with very sharp 
spines, flat on the under part, where their mouth is ; 
the spines are their instruments of motion, which are 
connected to the outer skin. The spine of the white 
sea egg is not over half an inch long ; these are some- 
times eaten by the West Indians ; they are found on 
sandy bottom. But the one I stepped on was very 
different, though of the same species ; it was the black 
gea egg, commonly found among rocks ; its body is 
small, its spines long and sharper than needles, and of 
course easily broken. These were the spines that were 
broken ofl^, and the points remained in the sole of my 



43 

foot, which for an hour caused an excruciatingf pain , 
so that I could not move from the spot; and though 
the day was approaching, and we had landed in view 
of the ship, my consort did not leave me, but assisted 
me as soon as I could move, and we got into the town 
just at daybreak. We parted, and I got across the 
passage that led to the harbour, and went on board oi 
a schooner that belonged to New- York, was received 
by the captain as cabin boy, and thought myself safe. 
They apprehended my consort that same day. 

I felt in high glee, thinking I was going home, but 
was rather negligent and careless about keeping out 
of sight; and went about the deck, where my duty re- 
quired me to be. It was suggested to me by one of the 
sailors of the vessel that I was on board of, that the 
captain had informed the British officers of my being 
on board of his vessel ; the sailor also advised me not 
to stay on board, but to secrete myself somewhere on 
shore, and he would supply me with victuals. But the 
captain's kind treatment of me induced me to disbelieve 
the sailor's report. I staid on board, and alas ! found 
the sailor's information too true. I had been three 
days on board, when one morning I saw the ship's 
barge approaching, with the captain in her. I knew 
not where to fly — no time to contemplate. Had I but 
started for the shore, I might have escaped : but it was 
not my doom. I ran into the forecastle, and one of the 
sailors threw some dry bullocks' hides over me. I 
was in hopes they had not discovered me, but were 
only going to land close to the vessel I was in, for some 
exclusive purpose; but soon found these hopes vain, 
fox one of the man-of-war's men came directly to the 



44 

scuttle where I was, and called me by namie ; my 
hopes vanished with the speed of thought, and with 
trembling I was compelled to approximate my foes. 
The captain gave charge to his cockswain to take me 
on board, and tell the commanding officer to give me 
three dozen. Three dozen ! What a sound ! It fell 
with the force of thunder upon my already depressed 
mind and heart, while trembling and reluctant I got 
into the barge ; and while we were gliding toward my 
horrid home, at each stroke of the oars, the sound re- 
verberated three dozen / and again, when climbing the 
ship's side, three dozen was sounding to my soul. 1 
was told by the commanding officer to stand between 
two cannon, and watched the sailor's lips as he deli- 
vered his message, slightly hoping he might skip the 
three dozen ; but again this little hope left me. But 
there was relief at hand, that I had not the least sus- 
picion of I felt as a culprit. I know not how to de- 
cribe my feelings, other than by saying that I had a 
true falsified impression on my mind. I felt guilty, but 
I was not guiUy ; for I had no more business there, than 
queen Victoria has to come here and become my ser- 
vant. It happened that the whole ship's company and 
officers were very busily engaged in getting the ship 
ready for sea. Mrs. Smith, on hearing that I was 
brought back, came out of her cabin, and asked the 
commandinof officer w^hat he intended to do with me? 
His answer was, '' I'll see to him by and by." She 
said to him, " You are so engaged, I'll take him and 
punish him. TU warrant you I'll learn the little scoun- 
drel not to desert again 1" The officer was glad to get 
rid of the task ; so I was seized up to the mizen shrouds 



'ill 

by a favourite quartermaster, a townsman of Mis, 
Smith's, who stood by while he gave me six lashes, 
and then told him that would do ; that she guessed I 
would not desert again. So I went happily about my 
duty, and felt grateful for my good fortune ; rny mother 
had flogged me with more severity before I was six 
years old. But my consort, the poor mulatto, had no 
one to befriend him ; he was flogged till the blood 
dropped upon the deck: the officers had suspicion that 
he decoyed me away, though I did not tell them so. 

Our ship belonged to the wandw^ard West India sta- 
tion, and it was the captain's duty to proceed thither ; 
but she was old and out of repair, and he thought it 
advisable to run to Jamaica, as it was nearer, and a 
smoother passage, as the trade wind blows from the 
eastward, and our course was not far from north-west . 
so we made sail, and arrived at Port-Royal, Jamaica. 
But the admiral w^as not pleased with our captain's 
proceedings, and ordered him to go with his ship to 
Martinico. This was a task — a distance, I suppose, 
of nearly a thousand miles, against a fresh head w^ind, 
most of the time a current too. But we had to try it : 
and after beating about a month, and having attained 
to about half-way distant between the east and west 
ends of St. Domingo, we w^ere overtaken by a heavy 
gale, which caused the ship to labour and roll so 
shockingly, that she carried away her mizenmast, 
maintopmast, and some other spars. During this gale, 
it was with difficulty that the sailors could move about 
the deck ; and not being able to cook, we had to eat raw- 
meat, or go without. Mrs. Smith, to keep her spirit? 
up, turned spirits down. She was a very lusty lady, 



46 

and once in a while, when the ship gave a few extra 
lurches, she would lose her hold, and tumble about the 
cabin, and bounce from side to side, as Jim Crow says, 
*' more quicker than faster," every end upwards. I 
pitied her; but sad as her situation was, I had to stand 
and laugh, while she was striving to get breath enough 
to send me some imprecations for not stopping her mo- 
tion. It was well for her that no one but myself saw 
her, or knew of her inebriated situation ; her husband 
was strenuously engaged with the affairs of the ship. 
All we had to do now, was to up helm, square the 
yards, and run for Jamaica again. The admiral was 
not at all pleased in view of our approach, and he re- 
solved, let wind or thunder prevail, our ship should go 
to Martinico. Accordingly, we were supplied with 
masts and spars that were necessary, also provisions 
and water, and set sail again. 

In leaving Port Royal, there are shoals and sand- 
banks, some rocks and clay banks off' the harbour, 
that extend eight or a dozen miles from the town, or 
place where the shipping lay. To clear these, it is 
necessary to take the advantage of the land wind, by 
getting under way very early in the morning; but 
some days the sea breeze comes in sooner than others. 
It happened so the day we set sail. The sea breeze 
came in fresh before we w^ere clear of the shoals; the 
ship was brought upon the wind, and in staying she 
misstayed and struck with tremendous force on a bank, 
where she thumped with violence for four hours. We 
were in sight of the shipping in Port Royal, and we 
fired repeated signal guns of distress, till over 100 
boats and a schooner were sent to our assistance. This 



47 

allair happened in the year 1802, the time of the short 
cessation of arms between Britain and Bony; and the 
French fleet that was sent on the expedition against 
the blacks at St. Domingo, was aJso lying at Port 
Royal, and we had many of their boats to our assis- 
tance. Our ship was towed into harbour, with the loss 
of her rudder, all her anchors, part of her cables, and 
part of her false keel. But the old admiral was not yet 
convinced of an opposing Providence; he insisted that 
our ship should go to Martinico. The poor pilot who 
was sent to pilot our ship out, being a king's slave, was 
hung without a trial. 

As this narrative is chiefly intended to show the cor- 
ruption of uncultivated human nature, with its inclina- 
tion to folly, I shall take the liberty to relate one more^ 
among the many incidents of my silliness. We had a 
large cook room in this ship, expressly for troops, se- 
parate from the room where the cooking was done for 
the ship's company and oflicers. As we had then no 
troops on board, this room was not occupied, but in it 
there stood a large caboose. One day, as I was search- 
ing under this caboose for fuel to cook my master's 
dinner, I routed out a small bag, with something in it 
which gingled like specie. I was not disappointed, for 
on untying it, I found it contained something like fifty 
dollars. 1 was glad, and I trembled; I was afraid 
some one else would find it, and I durst not take it out 
of the room, for fear some one would find out what I 
had got ; and being in haste, I took out a couple of 
dollars, tied it up, shoved it under the caboose again, 
and kept it dark. But after a day or two, as I pre- 
sented Mrs. Smith with some fruit, she accosted me 



48 

thus : *' Where do you get so much fruit ? I have ob- 
served your hands full of fruit half the time these three 
days." I was unprepared to answer ; I had forgotten 
to provide against such an attack ; I appeared to her 
as if guilty, and she accused me of selling provisions 
out of the store-room, which I with promptness denied. 
*' Well then," said she, " tell me how you got it." I 
thought it best, and told her the truth. " O you little 
fool 1" said she ; " go right away, and see if it is there 
yet." I went, but it was missing; some one had been 
more cunning than myself How the money came 
there, I never learned. It might have been stolen by 
some officer's servant, who, for fear of being detected, 
had deposited it under the caboose. 

Our ship was fitted out, and sent for Martinico again. 
Our captain thought best to beat up close along the 
coast of South America, bat we had fresh breezes on 
that coast also ; it blew half a gale for three weeks, 
during which time I had much trouble to encounter 
with Mrs. Smith, who was constantly tipsy ; and when 
in that situation, she felt very lofty. She had been very 
rich, had had many servants, and when she tasted the 
wine, or juice of cane, she felt high ; she would not strike 
me, but, like the quaker, she'd " give me a bad name." 
She got so bad at last, that her husband took but little 
notice of her accusations against me. 

One night, while we were buffeting the steady head 
wind, and force of the succeeding waves, the carpenter 
of the watch reported to the officer of the deck, that 
the ship had five feet water in her hold. This report 
caused an alarm to run through the ship, like the cry 
of murder through a country village in a calm night ; 



49 

and all hands were quickly summoned to the pumps. 
The report is made by the carpenter to the olfRcer every 
two hours; the previous report had been made at 12 
o'clock, when there \vas but eighteen inches water in 
the hold, and the last report was made at 2; so you 
can judge hov/ fast she leaked. We had six pumps ; 
two were chain, and the others engine pumps; they 
were kept in constant operation till daylight, when they 
had gained but ten inches, and the sailors began to lag. 
We had a harbour, at a distance of fifty miles, under 
our lee, and they up helm, and put the ship before the 
wind, till we got within twenty miles of the harbour, 
which is called Carthagine ; we were ten miles dis- 
tant from the land, where we had to anchor, on account 
of the shallow^ness of the water, and our having no pi- 
lot on board. The sailors at the pumps just made out 
to keep the water from increasing its depth in the hold, 
when an officer proposed a plan that gave them relief. 
A spare sail was got on deck from the sail-room, and 
blankets were cut into strips and sewed all over it, 
which made it like a mat ; when ropes were fastened 
to its corners, it was put over the fore-part of the ship, 
let down into the water, and drawn under the ship's 
bottom ; the blankets sucked into the leak, the ship soon 
had the usual depth of water in her hold, and there 
were glad hearts among the sailors. 

Our captain sent an officer with a boat's crew in the 
launch, that is, a large boat, into Carthagine for a pi- 
lot, but the wind was so strong against them that they 
could not return, and we had to. lie ten or tw^elve days, 
when our captain, out of patience, ordered the anchor 
up, and run the ship off the harbour's mouth ; then our 

4 



m 

boat came off" with a pilot, who conveyed our ship into 
a snug harbour, a few miles west of Carthagine, called 
Bocacheeca, that is, in English, small mouth. This 
harbour takes its name from the narrowness of its en- 
trance ; the description of the harbour answers very 
well for this. But there is an extra curiosity belonging 
to the harbour of Bocacheeca, which I think I shall 
add ; and that is, the water in the harbour is so pellu- 
cid, that you might see a 25 cent piece on the bottom 
in seven fathoms water, while the water along the coast; 
and at the mouth of it, is very thick and muddy. 

There lay in the harbour a British frigate, waiting 
for the release of about 150 British sailors ; these were 
sent on board of our ship, to help us to pump if the leak 
should break out afresh. After lying there about a 
week, we made sail in company with the frigate, and 
arrived once more at Port Royal. Now the old ad- 
miral thought for sartin, that we must be freighted 
with Finland fairies. "What!" said he ; "has that 
glipst-like old ship got back again ?'^ Yes, and she 
stuck to him this time ; she never sailed from that port 
again. They took out her stores, guns, ammunition, 
and ballast, and hauled her alongside of the wharf, at 
the navy yard, intending to heave her out, and repair 
her : but she was condemned as unfit for repair. This 
was a fatal time for many poor sailors. At Kingston, 
several perished with hunger, occasioned by their own 
folly, and the hard-heartedness of their officers. Peace 
was proclaimed, and the restriction on seamen, in the 
men-of-war, was lightened ; they were permitted to go 
on shore by scores, on liberty, but a specific time was 
set for them to be on board asfain, Too m.any of them 



51 

were so strongly habituated to drinking, by their semi 
daily allowance on board, that they gave full scope to 
their passions when they got on shore, carrying on all 
sail, swaying away on all topropes, as happy as mor« 
tals could be, regarding neither actions nor consequen- 
ces, forgetting that time was on the wing, and seldom 
stopping till every means of getting grog was expended, 
then compelled reluctantly to return to their ships. 
The officers, by order of their commanders, were faith- 
ful to mark each man's time, and stood ready to oppose 
them, telling them to go on shore again, with vocife- 
rous language — such as, " You are a lubberly rascal, 
an unfaithful scoundrel ; be off with you 1" <&c. Some 
of these men undoubtedly had been years in the service, 
and had their wages due them, and some of them much 
prize money ; but must submit to be thus duped out of 
It, to enrich their superiors in station and circumstan- 
ces, or to enrich the nation for which their lives had 
so frequently been in danger, and oceans of sweat had 
been extorted from their weary bodies. 

" Oh, yes 1 that sunken eye with fire once gleam'd. 
And rays of bliss from its full circlet stream'd ; 
But now neglect has stung him to the core, 
And hope's wild raptures thrill his breast no more ; 
Depressing anguish winds his vitals round, 
And added grief compels him to the ground. 
Lo ! o'er his manly form, decay'd and wan. 
The shades of death with gradual steps steal on, 
While the pale victim, pining to decay, 
Weeps for his loss, his wretched life away. 
Survey his sleepless couch, and standing there, 
Tell the poor pallid wretch, that life is fair !" 



52 

While our ship was lying alongside of the wharf at 
the navy yard, my mind was constantly in operation, 
contriving" a plan to get away. 

I thought upon the well known spot, 
My dear, my long-lost native home ! 

When shall I reach the little cot, 

Where I shall rest, no more to roam? 

The wall that enclosed the yard was about twenty 
feet high, and was extended several rods into the wa- 
ter, the part in the water being composed of long piles 
drove into the ground, with beam or plate extended 
along on their tops, in which beam were arranged a 
row of iron pickets, about a foot long, and six inches 
apart. I was prevented from swimming around this 
wall, by two obstacles; one was a sentinel — the other, 
the fear of sharks, which were large, numerous, and 
bold in that harbour. Near the wall, on the inside, 
there stood a long warehouse, one side of which was 
placed on the extremity of the wharf, over the water ; 
at the inside of this building stood a sentinel, whom it 
was impossible for me to pass unperceived ; but to pass 
him I was determined— and about 10 o'clock one even- 
ing, as all seemed to be asleep, I slid to the wharf on 
one of the cables that held the ship, crept to the end of 
the above-described warehouse, andby getting my toes 
among the stones that composed its foundation, and my 
fingers under the lapped boards, I succeeded in mea- 
suring the building from end to end, which brought 
me past the sentinel, but not outside of the wall. To 
surmount the next difficulty, was now for considera- 
tion. *' How shall I get over the wall?" I was just 



53 

concluding to swim it, when I perceived a boat with a 
mast in her, lying near the wall. I made no delay, 
but got into her, and to my joy, found a pile of stone 
ballast in her; these I commenced shifting from the 
off to the inside of the boat, with care and caution to 
be silent, till the top of the mast nearly touched the top 
of the wall ; I then climbed the mast, and reached the 
pickets, w^hich I easily got through. But to drop my- 
self from the top of the wall on the outside, appeared 
dangerous. For a large space, it was a filthy slough 
of mud, old boats and canoes, and broken glass bottles; 
but I could not retreat. I lowered myself down as far 
as I could by the pickets, and let go, sunk about half- 
leg deep into the mud, without harm, waded through 
it, and was in the town. 

As present performances in each present circum- 
stance were all I contemplated, not looking ahead, or 
exercising any logic, I had brought myself into a hob- 
ble, where no vista appeared ; nor could I have got out 
of it, short of the interposing directions of an all-wise, 
overruling Providence. I was on the extremity of a 
narrow strip of land, that extended seven miles from the 
mainland of Jamaica — a barren, sandy palisade. A 
wall, beset with sentinels, across this palisade, enclosed 
the town on the back side ; the town w^as constantly 
thronged with naval and military officers and men — 
and where was my retreat ? This I had not once 
thought of I strolled about an hour or so, then crept 
into a passage boat, rolled myself in one of the sails, 
and fell asleep. I w^as awakened by the master (and 
I think likely owner) of the boat, a stout mulatto, w^ho 
wds preparing his little vessel to take passengers to. 



54 

Kingston. Some were already on board, and seated. 
** Hilloo, boy !" said he ; "what you do here ? Come^ 
come, go ashore, go ashore.'* I began to plead with 
him to let me go up to Kingston with him ; but my 
pleading would not have availed, for he was resolute 
on my going on shore, had not the sympathy of one 
of the passengers, a handsome mulatto girl, been ex- 
cited in my behalf. She begged of him to let me go 
with them, and he told me to crawl in out of sight. 
The ship I left was not more than fifty rods from us, 
and we passed close by her, and I was landed at King- 
ston, where there were plenty of merchant vessels, and 
plenty of poor sailors that could get no employ ; this 
Avas only five miles from, the ship I left. 

From wharf to wharf, each ship to view, 

With hope and strong desire ; 
But found, alas 1 my hopes untrue. 

When forced to retire. 
When hope, about to take his leave, 

Had let me feel despair. 
At once there came a kind reprieve. 

That made my prospect fair. 

After searching diligently all day, in vain, for an 
American vessel, whose captain would grant me an 
asylum from approaching want for my servitude, about 
sunset I hit on the right one. It was a sloop that be- 
longed to Connecticut ; they heard my narrative with 
attention, and told me 1 was welcome to sail with them 
to New- York. After discharging her cargo, we pro- 
ceeded to the palisades, took in ballast, and then re- 
turned to Kingston. There was now for me but one 



i)5 



apparent difficulty ahead, and that was, we had to pass 
near the ship from which I had deserted, to get out to 
sea. We proceeded, and passing the ship, came to an- 
chor, say two miles beyond her; the captain of the sloop 
I was in took the boat, and all hands but one went on 
shore, the captain being obligated to clear out at that 
custom-house. I was so fearful of being apprehended, 
that I crawled into an empty flour barrel, that was in 
the run under the cabin floor. Here I fell asleep, and 
was awakened by the man on deck calling to me, tell- 
i-ng me to come up ; *'for (said he) they have come for 
you." My hopes were again far away. " Alas, my 
sad fate!" was the reply of my soul; *'am I doomed 
yet to slavery ?" While in this deplorable, dejected 
moment of reflection, the man said to me, ** Come up, 
and sit in the cabin ; you need not be so afraid ; if 
they knew that you were here, they'd have you ; but 
they don't know it, and all you've got to do is to keep 
out of their sight." Now again w^as my spirit re- 
vived; the captain returned, and the next morning the 
land wind wafted us out of sight of the ship, island 
and all. 

We were eighteen days buffeting a stiff trade wind 
that was ahead, when we had to put into a place called 
Platform Bay, for the purpose of obtaining fresh wa- 
ter. This bay is in St. Domingo, and this was the 
lime of the insurrection by the blacks, under their lead- 
er Tusang. Each party, blacks and w^hites, were at 
that time perpetrating the most horrid acts of barbarous 
murder and massacre. As the bay where we landed 
was surrounded with mountainous, craggy cliffs, and 
the few white families that resided there kept all their 



56 

valuables in their boats, ready at a moment^s alarm, 
they were not in danger ; as the disturbance had not 
as yet reached ^hat part of the island. 

We set sail from that place, intending' and expecting 
in a short time to inhale the free air in the land of free- 
dom. But the fresh north-east trade prevented us from 
weathering the east end of Cuba ; and after beating 
many days, when we had obtained our object in wea- 
thering the cape, and were in a fair passage to sail for 
New-York, another accident happened, which caused 
us to alter our course. The step of our mast gave 
way, the vessel sprang a leak, and we had to bear away 
for New-Providence, as it was the nearest harbour of 
note under our lee. After constant pumping for se- 
veral days, we reached the above-mentioned port, and 
ran the sloop on shore, to prevent her from sinking ; 
the water was already over the cabin floor, notwith- 
standing our utmost exertions at the pumps. As I w^as 
only a passenger, and felt rather dissatisfied with my 
accommodations, I embraced the first opportunity, and 
got safe on shore; but soon found I had got into ano- 
ther place of starvation; for the first object that at- 
tracted my notice was a poor old horse feeding upon 
shavings, and he appeared as if he had been fed upon 
scraggy oak branches. I strayed about the town three 
or fgur hours, then went and seated myself on the 
wharf, near a boat that belonged to an American sloop 
which lay at a small distance from the shore, expect- 
ing that some of the crew would soon come to go on 
board; there was only one more American vessel in 
the port, and that w^as a very small schooner, I was 
iiot disappointed ; for I had not sat there fifteen minutes. 



i>i 



when the captain of the sloop came. I soon made my 
situation known lo him, and he told me to jump into 
the boat. I did so, went on board, and w^s at home at 
once, or as contented as if I had been a twelvemonth 
on board. My last captain sold his old sloop, and he 
and all his crew took passage in the sloop with me. 
We took in a cargo of mahogany and pine apples, 
and made sail ; had a short and pleasant passage, and 
I was once more safely landed on my {then) happy na- 
tive shore, at New- York. 

And what allur'd me to this shore? 
A mother? no — she \vas no more. 
A father dear I long'd to see, 
But house, or home, was not for me. 

I left the sloop that I came from the West Indies in, 
though the captain desired, and expected, that I would 
continue with him ; got on board of another, and went 
to Albany. I v^'as then Avithin twenty-live miles of the 
place where my father resided, but had no thoughts of 
going to see him; but a passenger that came with us 
from New- York, knowing my father, told him where 
I was. I was as blithe and independent as any free 
negro, getting the dinner ready for about twenty gen- 
tlemen passengers, (who were already on board, and 
expected to set sail in a few^ minutes for New-York,) 
when a gentleman met me on deck, and. without cere- 
mony, calling me by name, asked me how I did? I 
thought it a little strange, and told him he had the ad- 
vantage of me — that I did not know Azsname. " Don't 
3^ou know your father T' said he. I looked up — it was 
enough; I beheld the manly tear of joy and sorrov*^ 



58 

dropping from his cheek ; but alas! I was insensible 
to his feelings. He told me I must accompany him 
home, but it was not my desire. My present captain 
was a clever man, and just ready to set sail, and I did 
not like to leave him destitute of a cook ; but my father 
insisted that I should go home with him, and I com- 
plied. My father's desire was, that I should get some 
education ; *' and then," said he, " if you have a mind 
to go to sea, you can act your pleasure." The first 
person to whom I was introduced on my arrival at 
home, was a stepmother. I did not much admire her 
appearance, and it went against the grain for me to 
call her mother ; but I hung on at home, and went to 
school about three months ; when silly fancy prompted 
me to watch a chance — and one Sunday, while my fa- 
ther and his wife were at church, I made out to get the 
drawer open, took some cash, got into the stage, and 
that evening was landed in Albany. 

I felt within, a glowing fire, 
And wandering was my soul's desire ; 
As little thought of storms ahead, 
As if hard fate had long been dead ; 
A present bliss was all my care. 
Nor ever thought how I should fare, 
Next week, to-morrow, or next year. 

For the space of two years, I did not go to sea, but 
staid chiefly on shore ; hired at many places, but could 
not content myself at any; attempted several times to 
learn some trade, but each resolution soon became stale. 
There was a constant restless anxiety for something— I 
could not tell what. 



59 



A VOYAGE TO ST. DOxMINGO, 

WITH SOME ACCOUNT OF THE 

EFFECTS OF THE INSURRECTION. 



^' And oft at midnight, when the desert slorm 
Broke o'er the fields, their beauty to deform, 
Hurling the branches of the trees on high, 
Leaving the cottage roofless to the sky, 
Or — worse than woes of elemental strife, 
The savage death-shot and the reckless knife, 
Which knew no mercy, from the locks of gray, 
To the fresh brow, that in the cradle lay, 
How shrunk the Pilgrim's heart, amid his care, 
Lest God should give his labours to despair! 
Those fears are over, with the Pilgrim's toil — 
lie sleeps in peace beneath the blood-drench'd soil." 

In the year 1804, 1 was in my sixteenth year. One 
fine summer day, as I was strolling along the wharves 
in the city of New- York, my attention was excited by 
the glorious appearance of a large ship lying in the 
stream. Her banners were gently waving, agitated 
by the soft south aiV from the ocean : her topsails were 
loose, and sheeted home; she had a row of hard metal 
bulldogs, pointing their white heads through square 
holes, at regular distances, in the ship's side; and to 
enliven my mind, and add tenfold lustre to the object 
of my delight, the drum and fife were in active use on 
board of her. As I was then out of employ, the im- 
pression on my mind was, " if they want a boy on board 
x^f that ship, I'll go." A gentleman stepped up to me. 



60 

and said, '* Do you want a ship V I told him, ** Yes, 
if he had one to spare." " Do you want a birth to go 
to sea?" said he; '* there's a fine ship, and I'll give 
you ten dollars per month to go in her." I agreed, 
and went on board, without asking, or much caring, 
whither she was bound. 

I suppose you know that this was about the time that 
the French gave up the strife with the blacks at the 
island of St. Domingo, the latter having gained their 
liberty, after a desperate and bloody struggle. As 
those blacks were in expectation that the French would 
renew their attack upon them, and they stood in need 
of arms, ammunition, provisions, and stores of every 
description, it opened an opportunity for speculation to 
those of our Yankee adventurers who w^ere able to fit 
out armed vessels, and would run the risk of having 
them captured by the French, who w^ere making use 
of every effort to prevent their opponents (the blacks) 
from getting assistance. 

We got under way, and had to sail close past two 
French frigates, then lying a little below the city of 
New-York. They vrere well acquainted with the ob- 
ject of our voyage, and their numerous crews were 
ranged along their ships' sides, where they stood mute, 
with intent gaze at our ship, as we passed, our music 
tauntingly playing " Yankee Doodle." This was not 
a Yankee tiick; our captain was a sturdy old tar, a 
native of Britain. We had to run under easy sail for 
several days, till we got the ship in preparation for 
action. We had to make boarding nettings, as we ex- 
pected to hive to repel the crew of some French Pri- 
vateer. Though we spoke several vessels, it was our 



61 

good fortune to shun the enemy ; and we sailed on to 
the south, through Turks' Island passage, and arrived 
safe at Cape Francois, St. Domingo. The blacks were 
much rejoiced at our arrival, fired several salutes, and 
the city was in an uproar w'ith shouting and music — 
though, at the same time, there were three hundred 
putrifying human bodies lying in heaps across eack 
other, in a church, not 40 rods from where our boats 
landed. There had been, shortly previous, a massacre 
of white French, men, women, and children. These 
unhappy victims, when the city was besieged by the 
blacks, had fled to the church, thinking that its sacred 
rights would appal their opponents ; but they w^ere too 
hardened with rage, they had no pity. 

We landed sonie of our cargo at Cape Francois, 
consisting chiefly of arms and powder, then pfoceeded 
to the bite of Leeugan, to a small port called Gunives. 
At that place, the blacks were using exertion, and im- 
proving every moment in building fortifications on hills 
and m.ountains surrounding the town ; not an indivi- 
dual was exempt from labour, who w^as able to lift a 
stone five pounds' weight, w^omen or their children. 
Our ship's company were 75 in number, a sturdy set 
of fellows. When,the captain gave orders to heave 
the anchor up, to make sail from that place, the men 
refused to obey ; they were dissatisfied about the quan- 
tity of liquor they received as their rations. The cap- 
tain and his mates insisted and commanded them to do 
their duty. *' That we are doing," was the unanimous 
answer from the sailors. " It is your duty to perform 
according as you agreed, in New- York, when we 
signed the articles. Do that, and we'll get your ship 



62 

tfiider way, or any thing you desire of us." One of 
the owners of the ship was on board, who urged the 
captain to compel the sailors to their duty. A bloody 
fight ensued, several were wounded, and the officers 
had to retreat to the quarter-deck. A small boat \vas 
despatched to the shore by our officers, and we were 
soon visited by a small vessel, filled with black troops. 
After another short fracas with the soldiers, the sailors 
submitted: nineteen of them were manacled, and deli- 
vered to the custody of the blacks, who, by the glo~ 
rious sound of drums and fifes, conveyed them to the 
shore, where they were compelled to serve the blacks 
at hard labour, building forts, for about three months, 
while Vv^e proceeded with the ship to Port au Prince. 
We had a black pilot on board ; but our captain, made 
more wise by the effects of brand}^ took the charge 
from him, and altered the course the pilot had given 
to the helmsman. The pilot told him he would run 
the ship aground, but the captain abused him. We 
were sailing with a fair wind and a good breeze, when 
the ship ran on to a sand bank. It is a task to describe 
the situation of the captain's mind on this occasion. 
He was confused, and must have felt guilty ; but to 
stifle these disagreeable feelings, he stamped, swore, 
and found fault with every thing but himself To re- 
medy this evil, and get the ship afloat again, all hands 
were employed hoisting out of all the hatchways, and 
heaving overboard goods for tw^elve hours, wuth little 
intermission ; hogsheads and pipes of liquor were stove 
in the hold, and their contents forced overboard by the 
ship's pumps ; so you may imagine what the merchant 
gained by trying to save a little from the allowance of 



03 

the sailors. We were about five miles from land, anri 
were favoured with a light breeze from the shore ; had 
there been a stiff sea breeze, as there commonly h 
daily at that place, our ship would in all probability 
have been a gone case. 

We got the ship afloat again, and proceeded to Port 
au Prince, where she was safely moored, the sails un- 
bent, and the topmasts struck. Our merchant had a 
large store on shore, filled with goods, which he was 
exchanging for coffee at an incredible profit. The in- 
habitants of that island, who had but recently gained 
their freedom by a long and bloody struggle, now con- 
cluded to put themselves under the despotic power of 
an emperor, whose name w^as Desalines; and there 
was great ado, rejoicing with music and firing, the day 
he was crowned: seven armed American vessels that 
were lying in port, each gave him the honour of a 
grand salute. Though those blacks are represented 
as a barbarous, relentless people, they pay attention to 
devotion ; w^e could see the emperor and his retinue, 
at the head of his officers and soldiers,- following the 
sound of music to church on Sundays. They are all 
Roman Catholics : when they are good, they are too 
good. There w^ere many white French at that time 
in that place, secreted in cellars. This was known to 
Mr. Forbes, our merchant, w4io had formed a plan for 
their liberation. To accomplish this plan, the ladies 
were dressed in the habiliments of young sailors, be- 
smeared with filth and tar, by which means they pass- 
ed the custom and guard houses, got into our boats, 
took hold of the tiller, pretending to steer the boat, as 
a sailor would, and got on board of our ship, without 



64 

exciting the suspicion of the blacks. The children 
were put in sacks, and brought to the boats on the 
shoulders of the sailors, as they did the marketing. 
Those that were too young to have sense enough 
to keep silent, while passing on board, were compelled 
to take laudanum; a little too much of this tincture 
was given to one of them, which caused its death : we 
durst not take it on shore for interment, for fear of the 
blacks finding out our smuggling proceedings, and it 
was hove overboard, with weights fastened to it, as if 
we had been at sea. In a day or two after it was bu- 
ried, the sharks found it, tore the weights from it, and 
it rose to the surface, I saw a shark when it took the 
last mouthful of it. Its mother, at the same time, was 
sitting on the quarter-deck ; but she did not perceive 
what was going on with her child, neither did any one 
tell her. 

There was a ship called the Nancy, of Charleston, 
South Carolina, ready to sail. Mr. Forbes had suc- 
ceeded in conveying two v/hite French ladies and four 
children into our boat in the evening, intending to con- 
vey them on board of the Nancy ; but they were ap- 
prehended by the relentless blacks, who were so en- 
raged, that they threatened to take our ship, and mas- 
sacre all hands — which they could have done, as our 
decks were so lumbered that we were in no situation 
for defence ; but happily the affair was hushed up on 
our part, by the effects of money, I expect ; but the un- 
fortunate ladies and children were massacred the next 
day. At that time, there was a native of that island, 
a mustee, that had command of a British frigate, called 
the Tartar. He sailed in, and came to anchor in the 



65 

*offing, not far from our ship. His intention was to gut 
the emperor on board of his ship, and take him to Ja* 
maica; as the white French residing- at that place had 
offered $30,000 for his head. He feigned such friend- 
ship for the emperor, that he got him on board to dine 
with him. When the emperor got on board of the 
Tartar, his suspicion was excited by some means, and 
he slipped a note into the hand of one of his attendants, 
and sent him on shore. This was done slyly, without 
the knowledge of captain Perkins. There was a boat's 
crew and some officers on shore, belongiiig to the Tar- 
tar ; and the note from the emperor gave orders that 
they should be kept in custody till he came on shore ; 
so captain Perkins had to try some other experiment 
for $30,000, or go without. Here again I had to suf- 
fer the natural results of my dissatisfied disposition, 
which never failed to cost me more trouble than gain. 
We had a chap on board, whose mind was of a piece 
with my own ; and we agreed to shift our situation, 
which we could accomplish only by desertion. Our 
plan being formed, w^e got into the small boat about 
midnight, when we thought all were asleep. We had 
shoved off, and were pulling for the shore, w^hen an 
officer heard us, and tfireatened us with a musket ball, 
but he was too late. We got on shore, and made the 
best of our way out of the town, following the sea-shore, 
till daybreak, when we came to a heap of bones, where 
there had been a massacre, the flesh on them was not 
wholly decayed ; it was a horrid sight, and a sicken- 
in o* smell. We fell in with a few small miserable huts, 
where dwelt some fishermen, and my consort, who 
r^ould speak a few words of French, inquired the w^ay 

5 



m 

to the main road that led to Larkahay ; they directed 
us, we found it, and jogged on a few miles, till we were 
stopped by a guard of black soldiers. After a short 
consultation among them,, w^e were compelled to follow 
one of them through the bushes and woods, a distance 
of about two miles, to the habitation of an old black 
man, who must have been something in office — whe- 
ther bishop, or deacon, I know not. He could read a 
little; my consort showed him an American protec* 
tion, as a pass; the old man made out the word Ame- 
rican, which relieved him from the suspicion that we 
were French, and he let us pass. 

We travelled some distance through a pleasant vale, 
sadly perplexed by moschetoes, till we came to a rapid 
stream, which we durst not attempt to ford. We were 
at a loss for some time, till there came along a man 
with some mules, who permitted us to cross the stream, 
each on one of his animals. Again we congratulated 
each other with our good fortune, as we tramped on. 
About 10 A. M., we came to where we had to ascend 
a mountain ; and the rays of the sun being intense, our 
thirst became almost insupportable. As we progressed 
on the craggy side of the mountain, the sun rose to its 
zenith, and its heat was more and more scorching. 
Our thirst increased — not a drop of water to be found. 
We could not leave the road, as briars and thorns ap- 
peared to be on every thing that grew; yet the blacks 
will race through the bush there, like hounds through 
a pleasant meadow in the cultivated part of America. 
I was about giving up, to lie dow^n and submit to my 
fate, when we met a man descending the mountain with 
a mule. My consort asked him for water; he shook 



0/ 



his head. " May par tinne glo,^^ was his answer ; 
that is Creole French, and signifies, "I have got no 
water;" but he gave us half of a water melon, which 
we accepted, feeling duly grateful. Never was any 
thing so sweet and refreshing to my taste and desire. 
Here let me remark, that we never are likely to ap- 
preciate the value of a blessing, till we are deprived of 
it: for instance, simple breathing; and it is almost as 
bad to be deprived of water in a hot climate, exposed to 
the scorching rays of the sun, as of breath. 

We reached the summit of the mountain, and were 
descending, w^hen we came to a running stream. I 
lay down and drank, and was loath to leave it ; the re- 
membiance of my suffering, but an hour before, being 
yet fresh; but we had to travel on. At the base of the 
mountain, we were arrested by a group of black sol- 
diers, w^ho conducted us to the governor, at Larkahay. 
This man w^as jet black, wore two epaulettes, tw^o gold 
watches, and had two beautiful young mulatto waves ; 
they appeared to me to be twins; one of them could 
speak a few words of English ; and while I was there, 
she sought and got an opportunity to express herself to 
me, as being wretchedly miserable. A council of offi- 
cers was called at tbe governor's residence. One of 
them could read and speak a little English, and my 
consort's American protection would not serve as a pass 
with them ; so we were kept there under the care of a 
sentinel, till the next day. We were permitted to view 
the {own, accompanied by a soldier, who showed us 
their barracks, which had been a beautiful church, but 
had been sadly disfigured by cannon ball, and was now 
m a ruinous condition. In this church, I was much 



68 

affected at the sight of a large elegant painting, that 
was hanging by one corner against the wall. It was 
a representation of Christ, St. Peter, and the vessel ; 
the latter attempting to walk on the water, and the for- 
mer in the act of saving him from sinking. There 
were many more pictures, and implements for devo- 
tional purposes, about the church, in as proper use as 
ever they were. 

When the sea breeze came in, we were put on board 
a small vessel, with a soldier to attend us, and sent back 
to Port au Prince, and delivered to Pityang, a general 
under the emperor, afterwards president of that nation. 
As our captain soon got tidings of our arrival, we were 
conducted on board of our ship, and the conclusion was 
to me rather painful ; the small cords made my back 
feel as if fire was applied. We took on board about 
six hundred tons of coffee, which cost about one dollar 
per hundred; and succeeded in smuggling on board 
thirty-two white French ladies and children. It would 
be difficult to ascertain whether Mr. Forbes rendered 
assistance to those unhappy beings from motives of be- 
nevolence, or gain ; as I was informed that the French 
government paid one thousand dollars for each indivi- 
dual thus brought away. 

We shaped our course for New-York, having noth- 
ing to fear but boisterous weather, and French priva- 
teers ; the former we had plenty of, but luckily avoided 
the latter. Our sturdy crew soon raised a breeze among 
the grog-shops and dens of infamy, when we arrived. 
It was knock down, and drag out, every thing in hu- 
man shape that opposed or thwarted their notions. As 
yet, I had not allowed myself to partake with them in 



69 

their most vicious career ; I kept from debauchery and 
inebriation. One evening, a shipmate, a young fellow 
that boarded in the house where I did, asked me to 
take a walk with him. I went along, having an idea 
that he was intending to take me to some house where 
some of our shipmates boarded. After turning a few 
corners, I found myself within the sound of cheerful 
music. As we drew near to a door, where all was 
bustle and confusion within, I lagged back. My con- 
sort perceived my timidity, and began to shame me. 
** What!" said he. *' You going to be a sailor, and 
afraid to go into a dance-house ! Oh, you cowardly 
puke ! Come along ! What are you standing there 
for, grinning like a sick monkey on a lee backstay*^" 
I was a coward, but did not like to be called one; so, 
to wipe off the stain, I mustered spunk enough to en- 
ter. The first opposition I met was a thick fog of pu- 
trified gas, that had been thoroughly through the pro- 
cess of respiration, and seemed glad to make its escape. 
It was a small room, well filled with human beings of 
both sexes. There was a big darkie in one corner, 
sweating, and sawing away on a violin ; his head, feet, 
and whole body, were in all sorts of motions at the 
same time. To increase vigour, and elate the spirit 
of fun, there stood by his side a tall swarthy female, 
who was rattling and flourishing a tambourine Avith 
uncommon skill and dexterity ; and to complete the 
scene of action, there were six or eight more on the 
middle of the floor^ jumping about, twisting and screw^- 
ing their joints and ankles as if to scour the floor with 
their feet. It was " Hurrah for the Sampson !" (the 
ship I had performed the last voyage in.) There were 



ro 

3ome drinking, some swearing-, some fighting-, some 
singing ; some of the soft-hearted females were crying, 
and others reeling and staggering about the room, with 
their shoulders naked, and their hair flying in all di- 
rections. "Ah!" thinks I; " Js this the recreation of 
sailors? Let me rather tie a stone to my neck, and 
jump from the end of the wharf, than associate with 
such company as this 1" and I made a glad retreat. 
Had I been allured into some of the more decent re- 
cesses of debauchery, it wouJd have had a different ef- 
fect on my mind, and most likely I should have been 
induced to keep such company, and practise their vices, 
sooner than I did ; but I had seen enough to last me 
several years. 

As I was rambling along the wharves one day, I 
fell in with captain John May. This gentleman had 
been first lieutenant of the Connecticut, the first ship I 
sailed in from New-London. He commanded a vessel 
then nearly ready to sail, and solicited me to go with 
him, offering me good wages. I agreed, purchased a 
chest, and a good stock of clothes. We set sail, and 
proceeded to Guadaloupe. Captain May indulged m.e 
with all I could Avish. So great was his kindness to 
me, that those captains of other vessels who occasion- 
ally visited ours, took me to be his son. All the ves- 
sel's stores and provisions were committed to my care. 
Even the mate had to ask me for any thing he wanted, 
though it was much against his inclination ; for he was 
jealous, and would have treated me ill, if the captain 
had not been my friend. These things I mention, so 
that you may understand the sad effects of misspent 
time, and good opportunities neglected. 



Here again, while dcstriictire fate was severing hu- 
man spirits from their bodies, I was permitted only to 
view the disastrous effects, without feeling them. The 
yellow fever was taking from American vessels about 
twenty every twenty-four hours. This was in 1805, 
a year to be noted for acts of vain glory; for instance, 
the battle of Trafalgar. The French fleet ran through 
the West Indies, taking, ransoming, and burning dif- 
ferent places. The fleet was commanded by Jerome 
Bonaparte. There were eighteen vessels fitting out at 
that time at Guadaloupo, privateers, for the purpose of 
scouring the ocean in quest of lawful plunder. We 
got a cargo of sugar, and set sail for New- York 

After encountering several tedious blasts, we made 
the land near Sandy Hook. It was in the latter part 
of February: the wind blew a stiff breeze from the 
north. As our captain did not know how to take ad- 
^r'antage of the tide, and the pilots did not make their 
appearance, we^ with a dozen other vessels, had to box 
about, in sight of land, for ten days, till our vessel was 
completely cov^ered with ice ten inches thick; some of 
our hands were so frost-bitten, that they lost the use of 
some of their limbs. Here again I was the lucky boy: 
for ,my employment was to get wood from the hold, 
keep the stove warm in the cabin, and dry the sailors^ 
stockings and mittens. We were much rejoiced when 
the wind backed to the westward, and permitted us to 
sail up to the city. Captain May was eager to have 
me abide with him, telling me I did not know when I 
had a friend. Here he was mistaken,; I was not in- 
sensible to his kindness, but I did not like the voyage 
he was ^o'ms: to undertake. I told him he would get 



re- 
taken by the British, and it happened so. Another 
reason I had for leaving him was, I was then in my 
seventeenth year, and had formed a resolution to go to 
Connecticut, and learn a trade. 

When I got to Middletown, Connecticut, I tried it a 
spell at blacksmithing, but could not make it go good. 
I quit it, Avent in a brig to Guadaloupe,^ and returned 
in two months and ten days. I made another voyage 
to the West Indies, in which nothing uncommon hap- 
pened. At Middletown, 1 became intimately acquainted 
in the family of an old sea captain, who had four lovely 
daughters. One of them I regarded as the handsomest 
and noblest of all human farms. I also had the evi- 
dence that my regard w^as by her not slighted. As I 
became more intimate with her, she would often ex- 
press her desires for my promotion in life; and, with 
cheerfulness glowing in her countenance, tell me I 
Avas fit for something better than a common sailor. I 
was also aware of this, and viewed the time as not far 
ahead, when with her I should enjoy hymeneal felici- 
ry. Her father and mother both agreed to make me 
welcom.e; but alas t my instability led me to another 
course^ 

^^ How have the* garlands of my childiaood withei'd,. 
And hope's false anthems died upon the air ? 
How like a whisper on the ineonstaut wind, 
The mem'iJy of tost ehances stirs the mind F^ 

There is so much extra labour on board those vessete 
that export live cattle, and so much filth, that I gave 
up sailing out of Connecticut, returned to New-York,. 
and got on board of a Hudson river sloop, in which I 



73 



sailed till the river froze up. I then went to school, at 
the Burrough, Saratoga county, for two months. Here 
I accumulated friends, by acting the part that I intend- 
ed should be right. My brother, then about fourteen 
years of age, was learning the blacksmithing business 
at that village; and hearing my character extolled a 
little by the inhabitants, he thought it was on account 
of my being a sailor; and though I used every argu- 
ment in my power to dissuade him from it, he would 
be a sailor. He w^ent to New-York in the spring of 
1806, and went to sea. I have not seen him since. 



74 



A TOUR OF 

THREE YEARS AND A HALF; 

In which the author was taken by a British man-of-war — sailed 
to Halifax, Gluebec, and London — vain career — impressed 
into the British service — their officers intrigue to detain him — 
he makes his escape vA the Cape of Good Hope — sails to the 
West Indies, thence to London, Russia, and Sweden — returns 
to London— sails from thence to tiie West Indies, and from 
thence to Baltimore. 



How false the portrait fancy does present ! 
"We view in strife, the picture of content. 
But who can say that earth has seen that good, 
Which man might not make evil, il he would '] 

In June, 1806, I sailed from New-York, in a brig 
bound for France. We were captured by his Britan- 
nic majesty's ship Driver, They sent our brig to Ha- 
lifax, Nova Scotia, and kept us on board the Di'iver 
a few days, while she was ranging- the ocean in search 
of more prizes. We sailed into Hcilifax, where I was 
permitted to go on shore. As I coiild not getachanc^^ 
to return to the States in any vessel, and being desti- 
tute of money, and ahriost of clothes, I shipped, and 
went in an English brig to Quebec, and from thence, 
in another ship, to London. As my wages in the last 
ship had been extra, 1 had about sixty dollars when I 
arrived at London, and might have increased m}^ store 
by staying on board, as the captain wished me to do; 



but I thought I was a sailor, and should disgrace my- 
self if I did not do as the rest did — viz. to go on shore 
to a boarding-house as soon as the ship was made fast, 
and the sails furled. The numerous allurements that 
met my vision, and were so nicely arranged and cal- 
culated to suit my desire, soon lightened my purse. I 
found myself sad and dejected. The most bewitching, 
soul-enchanting of all the fascinating inducements that 
cleared the way to my sorrow, was the theatre. I 
would have sold two meals each day, and gone hungry, 
to procure money to get into this den of arch-mockery. 
I sold all my best clothes, and every thing that would 
fetch a shilling, to keep up this silly nightly career; 
and I thought I could not go to sea, and abandon its 
felicity. 

After my chink was expended, which lasted but a 
few da^^s, after I got on shore, my landlady began to 
express her desire that I should look out for a berth to 
go to sea ; and her looks were not pleasing. If I came 
in at evening without a prospect, she was not at a loss 
in making her mind known in plain words. Her 
tono^ue would rattle like the wheels of a double eno-ine 
steamboat. She was one of the sharp avaricious sort. 
If a boarder (after his money was gone) asked for the 
third slice of bread and butter, or cup of hot water, 
which she termed tea, she would quick tell him he had 
had two. It is customary for sailor boarding-house 
Ivcepers to credit their boarders after their money is 
gone, till they get a berth ; and then take their pay 
out of the sailors' advance wages. It happens some- 
times that the landlord or lady meets with loss, as some 
give them the slip: while those that are honest often 



76 

have to help make up the loss by being scantily fed. 
The before-mentioned old lady was one of the right 
cut for this business; as she could purchase half-a- 
pound of butter on Monday morning, and have three- 
fourths of it left on Saturday evening, for Sunday. To 
dissolve this mystery, I will tell you how she accom- 
plished it; she would hold the loaf in her lap, and 
keep it partly under the table, to prevent those that 
were sittinsf round the table from watchinsr her mo- 
tions. Then she would take some butter on her knife, 
and spread it on the bread so nicely, that she scraped 
off a little more than she put on ; then scrape it into 
the butter dish again : thus she was constantly increas- 
ing her store, which she made use of at tea, in the af- 
ternoon, when the boarders were not present. She had 
a knack of cutting the bread so delicately thin, that you 
might discern a fellow's whiskers through a slice of 
it across the street; it only required a little more ba- 
king to make it answer the purpose of horn for lanterns. 
You will think it strange, if I tell you the truth ; that 
is, after all her avarice, the old lady ended her days in 
the alms-house. 

When I could not remain any longer on shore — 
when I could not raise a shilling to get into the thea- 
tre, and my clothes Avere so ragged that I was ashamed 
to appear in the street, I agreed to go up the Mediter- 
ranean, in one of my own country ships. Though 1 
was so indi.-^creet in my behaviour, I used no ardent 
spirits as yet. To put me in mind of my inconsiderate 
•foll3^ while in London, I had to endure extreme hard- 
ships, for a long time, being buffeted about with head 
winds, in the channel of Eno-land, for six weeks, in ex- 



77 

ceeding cold weather, in the months of November and 
December. 

Now this was no sport — for to me it was killing; 
1 thought of the jacket I sold for a shilling. 
Extreme was my folly — you surely will say, 
You had a good reason to think of the play. 
1 thought I'd do belter, if ever I landed, 
And not let my passions go so uncommanded: 
But though I've been cautious in going to the play, 
I've made up the measure in some other way. 

One night, in a most severe gale, which blew so fu- 
rious that no canvass could stand it, we were caught 
i.n a lee shore, called Beachy Head. This is a chalk 
cliff about 300 feet high, almost perpendicular. We 
were cornel led to let the ship drive as wind and waves 
directed. No efforts of our own could avail us any 
thing; each officer, captain, and sailor, like a statue, 
kept his place, mute, in solemn meditation, preparing 
to meet the "king of terrors," While there is hope, 
we are bold to extreme; but when this cheer of lifais 
wholly obscured, and not even a hope of his return, 
the lion becomes a lamb. The vociferous language 
of our tyrannical, concehed captain and his mates, 
was not heard, in this our dismal situation. How 
soon, when the wind favoured, and abated a little, was 
the clamour renewed; and, as we crawled from the 
shore, it increased. We put in to Portsmouth, to re- 
pair damages. We were boarded by a boat from a 
British man-of-war. One of the officers swore that I 
was an English subject; my protection was by them 
taken from me. 



78 

I was forc'd to compl}^ 'twas no use to deny; 

No justice, but tyranny carried the sway : 

I was forc'd to remain there, in sorrow and pain, 

where 
All hopes of my freedom was banish'd away. 

The ship on board of which I was impressed, wa^ 
called the Cormorant, and was one of a squadron of 
six men-of-war, then under sailing orders, and com- 
manded by Admiral Murray. With a dejected mind, 
I had to commence my duty. The next morning the 
signal was made on board the admiral ship to weigh 
anchor, and put to sea. The wind, which had been 
blowing for six weeks almost constantly from the 
westward; had now shifted to the north, for a few 
hours. Before we had sailed ten leagues, the wind 
began to blow a stiff gale ahead; some of the ships 
sprang their topmasts, and the signal was made to bear 
away. So we ran back, and came to anchor. I asked 
the captain for my protection, telling him I wished to 
send it to the American consul at London. But he 
bluffed me from his presence, refusing to comply. — 
With some difficulty I obtained half a sheet of paper, 
on which I sent a few lines to the consul, soliciting his 
assistance in getting me clear. But the wind was again 
fair before I got an answer ; so that, with a sad heart, I 
was compelled to help to get the ship under w^ay; and 
we proceeded to the Cape De Verd Islands. As the 
Cormorant was a dull sailer, and detained the squad- 
ron, it was our good fortune to be sent back to Eng- 
land, where we arrived in six weeks, after a very bois- 
terous passage. A few days after our arrival, I was 



79 

much delighted hy receiving an answer to the letter 
which I sent to the consul before we sailed. The con- 
sul told me to get my protection and send it to him; 
and if I could not get it, to write to my friends in the 
United States, and that my letters should be forw^arded 
free of expense. I had a protection, and had no desire 
of remaining in bondage till letters could be returned 
from America; so I showed the letter to the captain 
of the Cormorant, who told the first lieutenant to tell 
Mr. McBetii, the sailing master, (this was the officer 
that impressed me, and had taken my protection from 
me,) to give me my protection, adding, " he wants to 
get clear from our service.'' This was all a scheme to 
detain me till the ship was ready for sea. As Mr, 
?>'lcBeth was then on shore, I was compelled to wait, 
under the operations of anxiety and hope, till he came 
on board again ; which was not till the expiration of 
three days ; when, with a renewed portion of confi- 
dence, I asked him for my protection, telling him at 
the same time that the first lieutenant could testify that 
he was requested to give it to m^e. His answer was, 
that he could not give it to me without verbal orders 
from the captain. Hope again fled, and despair made 
his appeaiance: for ^the captain was then on shore. 
Thus I was humbugged, till the ship w^as nearly ready 
for sea. It happened one day that the captain and 
Mr. McBeih were both on board. I was called, and 
had the pleasure of receiving my protection, which I 
immediately sealed in a letter, and sent to the consul at 
London. After a {e^Y days I received an answer, tell- 
ing me to abide contented, that I should soon be free 
from the British service. But their plan was too deep 



80 

for me or the consul ; though the latter took my pro* 
tection to the board of Admiralty, from whence it was 
again sent back on board the ship, for the purpose of 
having me thoroughly examined by it. When I was 
in anticipation every hour, of getting my liberty, I 
was one morning surprised by being called into the 
ward-room, and beholding my protection in the hands 
of the British officers. This was on Friday; and on 
Sunday morning following, it was heart-sickening to 
me, to have to turn to, and help to get the ship under 
way, and make sail for a foreign station, out of the 
reach of the consul's influence. I was afterwards in- 
formed that my legal clearance was on board when we 
set sail. They had another scheme to baffle the efforts 
of the consul in getting American seamen clear from 
their service; which was, to keep shifting the sailor 
from ship to ship, so that the consul's letters could not 
get to him. The ignominy of British naval officers 
in general, was clearly developed by their practising, 
glorying, and permitting their ships to become recess- 
es of debauchery. There were one hundred and ten 
males belonging to the Cormorant; and while we lay 
at Portsmouth, there were constantly over one hundred 
female cannibals on board. When they saw that I 
was disgusted by their base language and practices, 
they gave me but little rest; and sought every opportu- 
nity to perplex me, adding grief to my sorrow. It was 
some relief to my mind to see them compelled to leave 
the ship, as we were getting under way ; though there 
was lamentable howling among them, and much mois- 
ture about the eyes and noses of some of the sailors, at 
their departure. We had under our charge a fleet of 



81 

transports, an expedition for the river La Plate. It 
was bitter cold weather. I belonged to the maintop; 
and suffered much in having- to sit two hours upon a 
stretch, at the maintopmast head, tending a light by 
which the fleet might see to follow us. We soon got 
into a warm climate, and came to anchor at St. Jago, 
one of the Cape de Verd islands. Here I attempted to 
swim on shore in the night, a distance of two miles ; 
but there was too much wind, and I was afraid of 
sharks. I got into the launch under the stern, made 
a kind of raft of the thwarts and oars ; the waves wash- 
ed them from me; my heart failed; I got onboard 
again, unperceived. There was no small stir and in- 
quiry throughout the ship next morning. The query 
was, "What has becomeof the oars and thwarts out of 
the launch?" The conclusion was, *' Somebody has 
stolen them while we slept;" and 1 thought I was the 
lucky boy yet. 

We set sail from St. Jago, and crossed the equator ; 
but by the ignorance of our ofRcers, we fell to the lee- 
ward, could not weather the east coast of South Ame- 
rica, and had to return to the north, to take advantage 
of the north-east trade wind. By the above manoeuvre, 
we avoided coming into battle at Monte Video. By the 
extra length of our passage, w^e were put on short al- 
lowance of provisions^ vhich often made me tuink of 
Yankee johnny-cake and hasty-pudding. I thought 
if ever I got hom^e, in the land of my nativity, I would 
never go farther from it than to fetch a pail of water 
from the well. 

6 



82 

My rural home, with fertile store. 
Was now more valued than before ] 
And all that kept me fi'om despair. 
Was contemplating to get there. 
Though hard and wormy was my bread, 
On scanty meals I daily fed ; 
Yet bless'd with health and appetite, 
And not of hope forsaken quite, 
My food was better to my taste, 
Than if I had enough to waste. 

We arrived at Monte Video — overhauled and re- 
paired the ship's rigging — cruised awhile in the river 
La Plate — took a fleet of transports, and ships laden 
with naval stores, under our convoy — and proceeded 
to the Cape of Good Hope. As \ was promoted on 
bocirdof the Cormorant, and rated on the ship's books, 
ahU, instead o{ ordinary seaman, I think I may here 
change the title of my narrative to " The Careless 
Saslor." 



83 



THE CARELESS SAILOR. 



" But man was made for bustle, and for strife. 
Though sometimes, like the sun on summer days, 
The bosom is unruffled, yet his life 
Consists in agitation, and his ways 
Are through the battling storm-blasts. To erase 
Some fancied wrong, to gain some promis'd joy, 
To gather earthly good, or merit praise, 
Are — and will be — the objects that employ 
His thoughts, and lead him on to dazzle or destroy." 

After boxing- and cruising^ about the Cape of Good 
Hope for about two months, we carried away our top- 
masts, and had to lie awhile in Simon's Bay, to refit. 
At this place, there was a large company of men se- 
lected from, the men-of-war, that were compelled, to go 
on shore, and perform the most servile labour in the 
dock-yard. It fell to my lot to make one of the num- 
ber. After enduring as much as I thought I could 
possibly exist under, for three weeks, constantly watch- 
ed, harassed, and drove about by the officers, I was 
shifted to a still more fatiguing situation. About a 
dozen of us, from our ship, were driven, like mules or 
asses, over a mountain, a distance of five miles, to back 
wood for fuel. This journey we performed twice each 
day; each man's load had to weigh sixty pounds each 



-84 - 

trip. It was a broken, barren, uncultivated country^ 
for sonie distance about Sinnon's Bay. We had to car- 
ry our grub with us, and cook it among the rocks, and 
were allowed one hour to get our dinners. My only 
consolation consisted in getting to a distance from the 
rest, during my dinner hour, and selecting a place be- 
tween two hillocks or rocks; where I would lie down 
with my face to the zenith, view the floating clouds that 
were gently wafting in the atmosphere, and contem- 
plate that they might be conducted over my native land. 

Since then I'm doom'd this sad reverse to prove^ 
Borne from the objects of my infant care, 
Far distant from a tender father's love, 
And driv'n the keenest storms of fate to bear; 
Ye gliding clouds, the solemn news convey, 
Inform my friends the cause of my delay ; 
Revive their spirits by some magic art, 
And let them know I bear an equal part ; 
That fdial love still warms my wretched heart. 
Though I am here, and oceans roar between, 
I hope once more t'enjoy thy rural scene. 

We were under command of a young fop of a mid- 
shipman; and no sooner was our hour expended, than 
I could hear his voice reverberating through the air, 
and echoing from the adjoining hills, " Yankee Jack ! 
where are you ?" (This w^as the name I was called 
by on board the Cormorant, by all but the first lieute- 
nant, and he called me Massachusetts.) " O !" says 
one, *' he's saying his prayers." " Yes," says another, 
" he's praying for Indian pudding and pumpkin pie." 
" No," says a third, "he's thinking of the minister's 



85 

daughter he left in Yankee town." I moved on, as if 
I did not hear them. I was permitted to go on shore 
on Sunday, to spend the day at my pleasure. While 
others that had the same privilege were recreating in 
the grog and wine shops, I strayed away from the vil- 
lage alone, ascended an adjacent hill through a gully, 
and shaped my course for Table Town, which was a 
distance of about 28 miles. My heart enlivened with- 
in me, with hopes of liberty ; but alas! it soon resumed 
its usQS.1 sadness. I travelled a few miles through gul- 
lies, between "high. cJiffo of- rockS;. without seeing a hu- 
man being, or the appearance of any human habita- 
tion. I sat down to rest and consider, between two 
lofty cliffs, when I heard a rattling among the stones 
over my left shoulder. As I raised my eyes, I beheld 
some young wolves skipping about, apparently at play. 
I thought the old ones ^Yere not far off, and my best 
plan would be to leave them to enjoy their sport by 
themselves. I took another course, and returned to 
Simon's Bay. It would have been folly to go on, as 
night was approaching, and the country through which 
I had to pass was desolate of all but wild and ferocious 
animals. When I returned, I found that I had been 
missed, and some had been seeking for me; but they 
did not suspect the object of my absence. 

We departed from Simon's Bay with- the whole 
squadron, consisting of eight or ten men-of-war, and 
proceeded to Table Bay. Here again I was compel- 
led, with many others, to work in the dock-yard. We 
were watched so intensely by a number of officers and 
sentinels, that no vista appeared through which I could 
make my escape ; but the time was at hand. One day, 



86 

I was sent on shore, as one of a boat's crew, to await 
and fetch some officers on board ; the officers delayed 
coming to the boat. I strayed away a distance of half 
a mile, and fell in with some American sailors, with 
w^hom I got into conversation, and tarried till my ship's 
boat had gone on board. I kept out of sight, among 
the timber that composed the wharf, (where I could 
hear them singing out for Yankee Jack,) till late in 
the evening, when all w^as silent, except the soft voice 
of a young sailor, who was sitting in a boat waiting for 
his companions, and was humming over ^cao verses 
of a love song. . I creprfrdhl "anion g the timber, ap- 
proached him, and made myself known to him, not as 
a man-of-war's man, but as one that belonged to an 
American merchant ship, knowing the name of one 
that lay in the port and wanted hands. When his 
companions came to the boat, they consented, and set 
me on board of an American ship, called the Ajaria. 

I had strove, but in vain, my release to obtain, 
At length, unexpected, a vista appear'd ; 

I quick did advance, by embracing the chance, 
At last from the grasp of my tyrants I clear'd. 

I must notice, as worthy of remark, that I w^as kept 
just one year on board of the Cormorant ; as I was im- 
pressed on Christmas-eve, 1806, and deserted on Christ- 
mas-eve, 1807. After remaining on board the Ajaria 
six weeks, unknown to the captain, I got on board of 
a large merchant ship called the London, belonging to 
London. The Cormorant went to sea on a six weeks' 
cruise, returned, and came to anchor a short distance 
from the London. I had been absent so long, that they 



S7 

had no suspicion of my being so near. Capt. Menzios, 
of the London, was very much in want of hands; yei 
he durst not take me, unless I went on shore, and was 
legally shipped by a magistrate. The penalty for 
shipping a sailor without conforming to the above rule, 
was SlOOO; this was the reason I staid so long on 
board the Ajaria unknown to the captain. I had to in- 
form captain Menzies that I had deserted from the 
Cormorant; adding, "and here she is, almost along- 
side; I might as well jump into the jawsof a shark, as 
attempt to go on shore now m the daytime.'' His re- 
ply was, '* I have compassion; but you know a burned 
child dreads the fire. I have paid the bloodhounds 
$2000 already, since I've been here, for two poor fel- 
lows that I permitted to stow aw^ay on board here ; but 
I'll go it-again^ go below, and keep close." We had 
a Yankee second mate, who went to work and dug a 
hole in the ballast, about four feet deep, tw^o feet wide, 
and the length of a man ;. covered it with planks and 
mats, about ten inches from the top of the ballast; then 
'overed it again with the ballast, except a small hole 
where I crept in; and a half barrel of pitch stopped 
the hole, leaving a little space underneath it to admit 
air. There were sheep, hogs, and poultry in the hold ; 
these were drove about over my stow-hole, to make the 
ballast appear undisturbed, likeother parts of it. When 
we were ready to sail, there w^ere twenty soldiers aad 
officers searching our ship from stem to stern, belov/ 
and above, for deserters; they ran over me several 
^imes; I could hear them talk and heave things about. 
Though I was surrounded in cold earth, I was wet 
;yith sweat.; ray^ courage could have been stowed in the 



till of a snuff-box. I was afraid tney would run their 
cutlasses or swords down through my covering, but 
they did not think of that. There were also a boat's 
crew and some officers from the Cormorant, whose 
voices I could clearly recognise. 

It was cheering to my soul to hear the officers call 
their men to their boats, then to feel the ship in motion, 
and hear the water swashing along her sides and under 
her bottom, the true tokens that she was launching ori 
to the great deep; but still more delighting was the 
sight, (when the second mate descended into the hold,, 
and commanded my resurrection,); to behold the war 
ships astern at a distance of six or seven miles, and that 
distance increasing. Captain Menzies supplied me 
with necessary clothing and stores. I was to have 
seven pounds sterling per month. As seven poundb 
per month may appear hyperbolical, I'll explain the 
cause; which was, in wartime, when sailors were 
scarce in foreign ports, it was a rule in the British mer- 
chant service to give double wages; thus, if sailors 
shipped in England for three pounds ten shillings,, I 
could have seven pounds. We sailed before a pleasant 
trade wind, passed the island of St. Helena, and came 
to anchor at Ascension. This island is uninhabited; 
and lies about 600 miles N.N.W. from St. Helena. It 
13 a natural curiosity, its strata having the appeararice 
of blacksmiths' cinders. Our object in stopping at As-. 
ccnsion was to. catch tortoise far the West Tndua mar- 
ket. To accompl^ish our design, we raised a tent on 
shore, w^ith a sail, w^here a party of our crew had to 
keep watch, and turn them on their backs when they 
came on shore to lay their eggs. We got about sixty 



89 

on board ; their average weight was about 200 pounds. 
We got u.iider way, and went toBarbadocs, where we 
disposed of the tortoises at fifty cents per pound. From 
thence we ran down to St. Vincent's. Here our ship 
was transmuted to a perfect bedlam. Our crew was 
chiefly composed of sturdy Irishmen and black men. 
They procured plenty of rum, and kept three sheets in 
the wind, as the saying is ; and while in that situation, 
they'd as lief fight as eat. I have often seen them quit 
their grub to take a knock down : 1 had the good for- 
tune to get clear from them, after receiving a few solid 
thumps. 

When a man-of-war was approaching, it was cus- 
tomary for those sailors belonorino- to merchant vessels 
lying in port, to flee to the shore, go out of the town, 
and secrete themselves in the bushes or cane patches. 
On one of these occasions, I had staid among the sugar 
cane till the war ship disappeared. I came into th(> 
town, and w^as w^aiting for the boat to come on shore. 
This was in 1809, the time of the embargo : I was 
seekino' for a passage to the States, but conld not find 
one. There came along a commander of a small sloop 
that was bound to Quebec. I thought, '' this is a good 
chance for me to get home; I can walk from Quebec 
to Saratoga very handy.'' No sooner thought than 
done, as was my usual practice. Though the captain 
of the sloop had all the hands he wanted, I went on 
board to u^ork my passage, and lefi clothes, vragesand 
all behind on board of the London* We got the sloop 
immediately under way, as she was to keep company 
with a large fleet that had already gone ahead. We 
had a stiff breeze. The captain and his crew^ kepi 



90 

pouring down liquor; as they were making sail, they 
put me to the helm. By the time they had ail sail 
set, they were so intoxicated that they all fell asleep, 
and I had to stay at the helm the whole night. 

We steered for Grenada, and had to run close under 
the lee of the Granadella Islands, which was a great 
hazard, as I was not acquainted with that passage. We 
oveitook the fleet, sailed in, and came to anchor at 
Grenada. 

I went on shore, fell in with the captain of a ship 
that was in want of hands ; he offered me 40 dollars 
])er month; without hesitation 1 agreed, and went on 
board. I found that the captain under whose com- 
mand I had placed myself, was a iirst-rate bully tyrant. 
This fact I was soon apprised of, by seeing him chase 
the mate about the deck with a rawhide. With this 
instrument, he made several of the crew jump lively; 
but somehow I got the right side of his mind, and had 
no difficulty or fear of the lash. We had pleasant 
\veather, plenty of work, and fev/ hands to do it, for six 
Aveeks, when we entered the channel of England. As 
the king's bloodhounds (officeis) were searching ships, 
houses, and every place where they might expect to 
jfind subjects for their master's service, it became my 
object to keep clear of them. To do this, I had to have 
permission fiom the captain to stow away, that is, to 
secrete myself somewhere in the ship's hold. As I 
had not got this permission, I kept to my duty till we 
were off' the harbour of Dover, and the press boat was 
approaching. My captain gave me a hint. 1 quickly 
descended into the hold, and crept as f-ir among the cargo 
as I could get: notwithstanding which, they v/ould 



91 

have found me had it not been for our captain, who 
peremptorily refused to let them have lights, and made 
them search in the dark. They came very near, but 
did not find me ; thus we were searched several times, 
before we got to Gravesend. This place is nearly 30 
miles from London. In this space, the livcr was 
thronged with bloodhounds, ready to spring on boaid 
and snap up every poor dog that was destitute of some 
badge of honour. As I was one of this number, I was 
obliged to give a man three guineas to woik for me, 
so that I could stow away. 

I had the good fortune to get safe on shore at Black- 
wall. At this place, the press-gangs met w^ith such 
opposition from the inhabitants, chiefly the old womjcn, 
who frequently chased them off with aprcns full of 
stones, that they seldom came there. Seventeen poor 
fellows w^ere huddled into the house v^here I boarded, 
that durst not go abroad, for fear of the press-gangs. 
Thus confined in a free country, their chief happiness 
consisted in sending to an adjoining tavern for rum and 
ale. From daylight till late bed-time, the prevailing 
query was, " Whose turn is it to send for grog?"' It 
vvas sometimes difficult to go about the house without 
trampling on those that lay spiawling on the floor. 
They had cash enough. None more happy than the 
landlord and his wife, who were fast rising from po- 
verty to plenty; they charged exoibitantly for their 
board, and had good commission en the liquor they 
brought from the alehouse. They were well skilled 
in making another's necessity their opportunity. The 
landlord charged my comrade and me five shillings 
each for setting us on shore f;om the ship, whin the 



92 

regular fare was only twopence. As we were stran- 
gers, he made us believe there was much difficulty in 
avoiding the press-boats. He charged me five shil- 
lings for going two miles to show m.e a place that he 
could not find ; but he said he had kept me from being 
impressed. He accumulated riches; but, about one 
year after, he, and his wife, and two children, expired, 
all vrithin the space of one month. The above is only 
a sample of the intrigues made use of by the land- 
sharks, to dupe the silly tar. 

I wrote a few lines to the American consul, inform- 
ing him how I made my escape from the Cormorant, 
and what was my present situation, without a protec- 
tion. I wns charged one dollar and seventy-five cents 
by a man, for taking my letter four miles, to the con- 
sul's office, and returning with my protection. The 
man was my landlady's father; their motto was, 
" Keep all in the family." 

I had the misfortune to incur the displeasure of my 
landlord and his flimily, as I kept my weather- eye open, 
and sent for no liquor; but got my wages, paid my 
board bill, purchased good clothing, and got a berth in 
an American brig. 

We sailed in company with a fleet of ships, under a 
British convoy, bound up the Baltic. The Danes and 
the French were on friendly terms at that time; and 
both were at war with Britain. We had to manoeuvre 
prett}^ nicely, to avoid the cannon balls from tlie Da- 
nish shore. We got through the belt, and proceeded 
to Cronstadt, in Russia. While we lay in Russia, the 
British fleet, with the Swedes, had a destructive battle 
vvith the Russian fleet. The latter were defeated, with 



93 

JXreat loss. Some of their ships returned to Cronstadl, 
besmeared with blood ; and the dead bodies were lying 
about the decks. Our brig was thoroughly repaired 
there; and when we got our cargoes on board, the 
Russians clapped an embargo on all foreign vessels, 
and we had to remain there six weeks longer. When 
the embargo was raised, we set sail, and got our brig 
on shore in the gulf of Finland; but were favoured 
with light breezes from the land, which v.asthe means 
of our sustaining but little loss. We had to put into 
Carlscroon, in Sweedland, and wait for a British con- 
voy. When it was ready, we sailed in their company, 
lost the fleet, and returned to Carlscroon, where we 
had to lie nearly a month more, till another fleet was 
ready to sail. Vv^e again made sail for England; but 
again were disappointed. We had constant Lead winds, 
and the weather became so cold, that our vessel was 
completely covered with ice; our rigging was so 
clogged up, that we had to cut somiO of it to permit us 
to brace the yards about. After buffeting about, with 
much fatigue, for three weeks, in the Baltic sea, we 
had to give it up, and bear away for Carlscroon, for the 
purpose of wintering there. The harbour w^as frozen 
up, and we had to cut the ice, which was ten inches 
thick, a distance of two miles. Our brig was fast with- 
out the help of cables and anchors, near the castle, for 
that winter. At this time, cruel flUe was doing a great 
work among the Swedish sailors and soldiers ; 10,000, 
it was said, expired at Carlscroon, that winter. As the 
earth was frozen so hard that they could not dig graves 
without great difficulty, the dead bodies were piled up 
in coffins by the castle, 300 in each pile; there were 



94 

several piles. I frequently walked over them with lit^ 
tie regard to their state, when returning- from my 
nightly career on shore. How strange! that being- 
familiar with death's effects should lessen our fear of 
his terrors. When the ice was frozen far into the 
Baltic, the Swedes put the coffins containing the dead 
upon sleighs, dragged them a distance from the shore, 
cut holes in the ice, took the bodies out of the coffins, 
shoved them under the ice, and then returned with the 
coffins to put others in. The sailors and soldiers 
were almost in a state of starvation. Their clothing 
appeared as if dropping from their bodies, which seem- 
ed as if eaten to fragments by vermin. I have seen 
one of them go into a grocery, purchase a red rusty 
herring, begin at the head, and eat every item of it — 
scales, entrails, rust, and all. So rapid was the conta- 
gion, that in 48 hours after they were attacked, they 
were dead, with not a pound of flesh on their whole 
bodies. 

" Malignant triumph fill'd his eyes; 
' See, hapless mortals ! see,' he cries, 

' How ^^ain your idle schemes ! 
Beneath my grasp, the fairest form 
Dissolves, and mmgles with the worm; 

Thus vanish mortal dreams. 

The w^orks of God, and man I spoil; 
The noblest proof of human toil 

I treat as childish toys : 
I crush the noble and the brave ; 
Beauty I mar, and in the grave 

I bury human joys 1' 



05 

On iVosly wings the demon iied, 
Howllnfi^ as o'er the wall he sped, 

And cried, ' Your time is gone !' 
The ruin'd spire — the crumbling tower — 
Nodding, obeyed his awful powder, 

As TIME flew swiftly on." 

I boarded on shore two months during that winter. 
The Swedish girls were very kind, especially to us 
Yankees. I was invited to dances, and attended one 
almost every evening; but I had to pay for my fun, it 
cost me all my wages, and two months over ; for 
which I was compelled to serve through cold wet 
storms, and bitter blasts, early in the spring, working 
the vessel's way through the ice, to get out of harbour, 
and out of the Baltic sea. When we arrived at Lon- 
don, the balance of wages due to me was eight dollars. 
I had been eleven months performing the last voyage, 

" I thought it unjust to repine at my lot, 
Or to bear with cold looks on the shore; 
I packed up the trifling remnant I'd got, 
And a trifle, alas ! was my store." 

I stayed in London till I got in debt over the amount 
of a month's advance. 1 was very fond of music, and 
the gratifying labour of dancing. But, as yet, I did 
not feel the need of raising my spirits with ardent. It 
was only the cheerful association that allured my pas- 
sions. 

" And shall we kill each day? If trifling kills. 
Sure vice must butcher! O, what heaps of slain 
Cry out for vengeance on us 1 Time destroyed 
Is suicide, where more than blood is spilt." 



96 

Reluctantly I agreed, and went on board of a large 
ship bound for Martinico. We got into the channel of 
England, where we had to encounter a short, but tre- 
mendous gale. We were near the Goodwin Sands, a 
dangerous place, where many ships and lives have 
been lost. But my time had not yet come. Though 
the force of the wind would not permit us to set a rag 
of sail, and we were compelled to let the ship drive, yet 
she drove clear of the feared spot, into the North Sea. 
Our young commander was so terrified, that he lashed 
himself fast on the quarter-deck, turned pale, andabode 
mute. 

When the gale abated, we got the ship in order^ 
caught a feir breeze, and in 25 days we were moored 
in. St. Pierre's, Martinico. We had about thirty-six 
wild fellows on board, who composed our ciew. We 
soon had plenty of good cane juice among us; and as 
soon all the revenge and malicious feelings that had 
been accumulated and stored in their minds during our 
passage from England, now became visible; and, as 
on a previous occasion, our ship became a bedlam. — 
To keep out of the muss, I frequently hid myself, and 
slept whole nights in the hold. Some of our crew de- 
serted, and seven volunteered, and went on board of the 
Grenada man-of-war brig that was lying in the bay. 
Among the latter was the second mate; he was a 
Yankee, and had a wife, and some fine children, who 
resided No, 88 Fair-street, (now called Fulton-street,) 
New- York. Our captain desired me to take the second 
mate's place. I did so ; but only for a short time. As 
the American em.bargo was raised, I was looking out 
for a chance to get home. One evening I went on 



97 

slioie, accompanied by a small boy, to bring our cap- 
tain on board, there were three naval officers who 
asked our captain to let his boat set them on board 
their ships. The captain told me I might do it if I 
chose. After I had set the captain on board, I return- 
ed to the beach and took in the officers. Two of them 
we left on board the Neptune, three-decker, that lay in 
the offing. They gave us a dollar. And the other 
we set on hoard of the Grenada, where I had a chance 
to converse with my silly dejected ship-mates: they 
were sober, and would have given anything to have 
been as well off as I was. 

*' Is sorrow there, where all is fair, 

Where all is outward glee? 

Go, fool, to yonder mariner, 

And he shall lesson thee. 

Upon the deck walks tyrant sway. 

Wild as his conquering wave. 

And murmuring hate that must obey. 

The captain and his slave." 

There was a fine m.erchant ship lying in tlie bay ; 
I knew her captain wanted hands very much. As she 
lay not far from my course, I went alongside of her, 
where I fell in with those before alluded to, who had 
deserted, The mate of this ship, on hearing that I 
was a Yankee, told me, if I wished to get home, to 
come and add one to their number. This ship had 
cleared out for Liverpool, in England, to satisfy law; 
as she was laden with sugar and coffee ; but was des- 
tined for Baltimore, in the state of Maryland, by the 
owner. She would have been a legal priz'e to a Rri- 

7 



9-8^ 

tfsh man-of-war, had they but known this scheme. I 
i?eturned on board, telling the boy to keep dark; for I 
knew I could trust him. The boat had to be locked 
with a chain, and the ke}^ deposited on the cabin table. 
The above I performed, and then went about packing 
i3p my luggage. I had a comrade, whom I awoke. 
The boy insisted on going with us ; we urged him to 
remain, but to no purpose. So we broke the chain 
that held the boat, and w^ent along side of the Eliza, 
the ship before mentioned. The next query was, what 
to do with the boat that I had taken from the other 
ship. I soon formed and executed a plan. I skulled 
her to the beach, and tied her to an anchor. It was 
my intention to swim to^ the Eliza; but my courage 
failed, for fear of the sharks. I found a small canoe, 
got on board in it, and shoved it adrift. The next 
morning I saw a boat belonging to the Neptune, 98 
gun ship, towing the little canoe to the shore; they 
had picked it up, little suspecting how it got adrift. 
Our crew had a hearty laugh about my making the 
king's officers my servants. 

We set sail, and were chased by several men-of- 
war. But our ship sailed too swift for them, and we 
arrived safe at Baltimore. I was taken sick on our 
passage, and w^as scarcely able to walk w^hen we ar- 
rived. My disease was something uncommon. I went 
to several physicians at Baltimore, but to little purpose. 
By vv^ay ojf Philadelphia I went to New^-York, where 
I found my father. I had not seen him during the last 
five years. He put me in mind that I was not one-and- 
twenty yet— that I had better go home with him and 
try to get a living on land. I would have readil^^com- 



plied with his request, but as little thought I could goi 
a living on the shore, as that I could stop the moon. 
1 still retained my disease, and was not able to work. 
The physicians told me I had better go to the hospital. 
My disease was at the pit of the stomach ; and it was 
a case they were not familiar with. I was admitted 
into the hospital on Tuesday, in the forenoon, and about 
1 o'clock in the afternoon of the same day, there was 
a young man brought into the ward where I was quar- 
tered, upon a bier; he was asleep, and breathed so 
hard that he might be heard some distance. He was 
picked up in the street. The doctors came and stood 
around him in solemn meditation and consultation. 
They knew not what to do. He began to gurgle in 
his tKroat, when he had been in the hospital about an 
hour. The blood began to flow from him both w^ays. 
He continued bleeding till the next morning, and three 
pails were filled with his blood. His couch was so 
besmeared w^ith clotted blood, that it might be said he 
was soaking in his gore: there was also a puddle on 
the floor. He expired about eight o'clock in the morn- 
ing — a lamentable sight to behold. 

The cause of this fatal disaster was nothing more 
than carrying a joke too far. He had recently return- 
ed from Baltimore, where he had been for some time 
at work. A young lady met him, and told him that 
his intended bride was wedded to a sailor ; and she 
contrived so as to tell his sweetheart, before he saw^ 
her, that she had seen him, and also what she had said,^^ 
adding, " Now w^hen he comes, you stick to it that it 
is so." He came, and his intended received him with 
cool indifference. He thought of what the young lady 



100 

had told him on his arrival. Fear, jealousy, suspicioijij 
and despair, the fittest implements of evil, began to 
work in his breast. Little did she think how tender a 
cord she was touching, when she told him it was true 
that she was indeed the bride of another. He did not 
rage — his melancholy was too deep, and of a different 
nature. If he could have wept, or given vent to his 
feelings, probably the consequences w^ould not have 
been so fatal. His melancholy was of that kind that 
does not exhibit itself. Therefore his intended did 
not perceive it when he left her. He went into a drug 
store in Broadway, purchased about six cents worth of 
corrosive sublimate, and went into the street. He then 
entered another drug store, and got 25 cents vyorth of 
laudanum ; these potions he swallowed. I have told 
you the effects. His sweetheart, on hearing of his 
late, came to the hospital, accompanied by her mother, 
and on beholding the effects of her folly, went into fits 
of distraction, and would have put an end to her exis- 
tence, had she not been prevented. Her lamentations 
were dolorous beyond description. It was indeed a 
heart-rending scene. 

♦' Away ! away ! I cannot bear 
To gaze upon thy face; 
Thy beauty brought me to despair — 
Thy coldness to disgrace. 

" Away ! nor tempt me to uplift 

The veil that shrouds my soul : 
The dismal gloom I cannot shift — 
Nor passion can control 



101 

*' Away ! you may not Jove me now — 
The blighted and the sere — 
Nor shall the gall from broken vow 
Be sw^ecten'd by a tear. 

*' Oh God! I would my heart were cold — 
My bosom bared in death ! 
My sorrows, then, were sooner told, 
Than by my struggling breath. 

^' Away ! away ! my brain is wild — 
My soul is dark in gloom ; 
O death, I come — thy weary child ! 
Despair! O God f the tomb!" 

I vras examined by a company of physicians. My 
case was an odd one; but they concluded not to try any 
experiments upon me — as I was young, and they 
thought I might be useful. I left the hospital, after 
staying one week, though I was not quite well, and 
got a berth in a ship called the Flora, bound to St. 
Bartholomew. We had arrived, and commenced dis- 
charging our cargo, at our destined port, when, one 
evening, our crew (myself excepted,) were all in un- 
common high glee — drinking, and sky larking at a 
great rate. As it regr.rds my habits, I was yet sober- 
minded. My mind, on this occasion, was impre«^sed 
with something like this: 

The blissful spell of gay career, 

May soon be changed into fear ; 

And when the prospect shines most brighi. 

There oft ensues^ a dismal nio-ht. 



102 

We had but cleverly got asleep, when the weir- 
known and unwelcome alarm w^as given, by three 
heavy thumps with a handspike, on the deck, just over 
our heads, accompanied by the sharp thrilling voice of 
the mate, like the yell of an Indian war whoop. " All 
hands! all hands 1" was the cry. "Bear a hand up, 
bear a hand up." There was scrabbling among the 
sailors. Ah! the dismal scene that met mj?- vision, as 
I poked my head through the scuttle, ascending on 
deck. Little did we expect that so horrid a night would 
so soon ensue. The wnnds blowing with amazing vi- 
gour — the disquieted waves rushing and roaring with 
impetuous fury — the glaring lightning flashing over 
the whole heavens — the broken clouds pouring out 
floods of water — and the rolling thunder echoing the 
majesty of the Eternal through the conscious void — all 
made up an awful scene. The contrast betw^een light 
and darkness was strikingly exhibited in rapid suc- 
cession. One instant, it was as light as noonday — the 
next, we were enveloped in Egyptian darkness. One 
of our cables parted, and the ship swung to the other, 
which brought her foul of two other vessels, while an- 
other was just ahead of us. Our cable w^as under her 
bottom, and of course in the act of being chafed in two, 
though it held on till the next day. The sky became 
clear, but the wind continued as if to try its strength. 
Our cable parted, and we attempted to make sail, in 
the hope of getting out to sea, and out of danger ; but 
our efforts were ineffectual. Our captain, by holdings 
on too long to a halser, thinking to save it, and the an- 
chor that was attached to it, lost the ship. She struck 
on the rocks with a terrible crash, and bilged imme- 



103 

cliately ; the third stroke she gave, the keel was lloat- 
ing alongside ; the sea was breaking over the ship from 
«tem to stern, so that when I caught hold of any thing 
to hold on as it approached, I was washed out as straight 
as a dishcloth. We cut away the mainmast, thinking 
to get on shore on its wreck. It fell in such a direc- 
tion as to prevent the accomplishment of our object. I 
swam on shore, to take the end of a small rope, by 
w^hich many things were hauled to the shore by the 
inhabitants, who were collected in great numbers on 
the rocks. We saved all but the ship and cargo. I 
got on board a schooner, w^ent to Virginia, and thence 
to New- York. 

Now comes on an account of the commencement of 
my extra vicious life. 

1 had a letter from the second mate of the Flora, to 
deliver to a dame that resided with the celebrated 
'French Johnny, who kept a dance-house in a street 
then called George's, now Market. I rejoiced in having 
•this opportunity and excuse to visit this place of recre- 
ation, as I had often heard its merits spoken of by sailors, 
J found the house:; it was beset without by a multitude 
of the baser sort of young people. " These," thought 
I, " are the fag-end of creation," as I forced my way 
among them to the door, feeling as if my object was 
noble. The door was closed, and kept so by a man 
with a chain. For a shilling I was permitted to pass 
in. Never w^as there a greater invention contrived to 
•captivate the mind of a young novice, than presented 
itself on my entrance. A spacious room, illuminated 
with glittering chandeliers hanging in the centre, and 
lamps all around ; three musicians on high seats, well 



skilled in using their instruments; about fourteen (ap- 
parently) damsels, tipped off in fine style, whose syco- 
phantic glances and winning smiles were calculated 
only to attract attention from such as had little wit, and 
draw irjoney from their pockets; and I was just tho- 
man This was felicity indeed. 

So I spent my money while it lasted, 

Among this idle, gaudy train ; 
When fair elysian hopes were blasted, 

I shipped to sail the swelling main. 

The inducements of the above described den oi in- 
famy were so captivating to my silly mind, that I gave 
loose to the reins of self-government, and fell in with 
their practices, not without some reluctance, especially 
to their base language. A glass of hot punch was only 
25 cents: it was sweet, and not very strong: and by 
sipping a little pretty often, I soon got so that it tasted 
good. But alas ! my race w'as short: for 

When madam finds Jack's money's gone. 

To him she tells her mind : 
Saying, " My dear,, you must away, 
V More mon.ey for to find, 

" You know it well, my dear," she says, 

"There's charges on the shore: 
It grieves my heart that w^e must part, 

Perhaps to meet no more," 

I shipped in the fall of 1809, in a fine brig, bound 
(as the captain said) to Portobello, cleared out from 
New-York to Amboy, New-Jersey ; this, was a plan 



105 

to dupe the custom-house officers at the latter place, as 
they could not be so easily blinded at New-York. 
Our cargo consisted of arms, stores, ammunition, and 
provisions, for the St. Domingo market. 

The landlords in New- York had made an arrange- 
ment among themselves, to stand security only to see 
their boarders on board of the ship or vessel in which 
the sailor had agreed to go ; \vhereas, previously, it had 
been the custom for the landlords to give security that 
the sailor should proceed to sea. Our captain had lost 
a whole crew of twenty-four hands, each having re- 
ceived his month's advance, amounting to about 8700. 
Availing themselves of the virtue of the last arrange- 
ment of their landlords, they fastened the cabin doors, 
so that the mate and steward could not get on deck to 
oppose them: then hoisted out the long-boat, put their 
chests in her, and went on shore. They had only to 
keep out of sight till our brig had sailed, when they 
could take a month's advance from some other ship. 
J was sorry for not having been one of them. Yv"h&t 
a cruise I would have had when the brig was gone, 
among my souFs delights at French Johnny's! But 
alas ! these reflections were of no use. My landlord had 
given security (as was the case v\^ith the rest of our pre- 
sent crew,) that we should proceed to sea; and our of- 
ficers, having been once burned, kept a good look out 
for us. We had plenty of liquor on board. Some of 
my shipmates that were wdth me in the Flora, that was 
cast away, were on board of this brig also: they had 
observed in the last ship, that I never drank my allow- 
ance of grog, and were constrained to mark the won- 
derful change : for now I was first in every tin pot that 



106 

liad grog in it. I was oftera so affected with liquor, 
that they had to tie me fast to keep me from jumping 
overboard, or killing myself or some one else. I per- 
mitted my passions to drive me to these extremes, by 
contemplating too much on a damsel with whom I had 
associated at French Johnny's ; and surely she was 
worthy the attention of any decent young man. A 
■sketch of her biography may not be uninteresting. 

The w4fe of the celebrated French Johnny was a 
high dame in her appearance, and in her own estima- 
tion. She frequently made trips to Boston and Phila- 
delphia, for the purpose of selecting such young fe- 
males as would best suit her market and avocatio^n. 
As she was returning from Philadelphia on one of 
these excursions, she put up at a grand house in Bor- 
dentown, in which the girl above alluded to was a 
hired attendaiit. The lofty Mrs. Johnny appeared to 
kev as a lady of the first quality, and her demeanour 
was such, that she had no suspicion of her character. 
Mrs. Johnny watched her opportunity, and got her into 
conversation. After an introduction, she lengthened 
■ber thread by prying into her circumstances, asking 
what amount of wages she received. On being in- 
formed, she made some remarks, told her she wanted 
a chambermaid, and made her an offer of great wages. 
The poor girl was captivated, and rejoicing within 
berself, she consented, left her place^and accompanied 
the old bawd to New- York. As it was in the night 
when they arrived, the girl was conducted to a decent 
room, where she was kept all the next day, the old 
bawd frequently visiting and treating her with attention 
and kindness. Thus the old woman feed her with flat- 



107 

tery for several days, when she introduced a young man 
to her, telling" her he was her only son, and begging 
her to treat him with kindness and respect, at the same 
time presenting her wnth a bottle of wine and some 
confectionarics. Thus she was first duped, then yield- 
ed, being far from home, and without money or friends. 
This is the narrative she related to me in candour, and 
she often expressed her disgust at the practices exhi- 
bited in the house where she reluctantly resided ; she 
had hopes that I would take her out of it. 1 heard af- 
terwards, that she learned to drink and swear, and died 
v/retched in Philadelphia. 

We sailed from Sandy Hook on the 2d day of Ja- 
nuary, and on the 10th of the same month, our vessel 
was moored in Port au Prince, where she was sold to 
the blacks for $48,000. She was fitted out for a man- 
of-war, and called the Flambeau. Our merchant pur- 
chased another brig, in which I went to Am.elia Island, 
Here was a large number of British merchant vessels, 
very much in want of hands, f shipped as boatswain 
of a large fine ship, for §50 per month, and went to 
Liverpool, in England. As we had a long, tedious 
passage, I went on shore before the ship was hauled 
into dock, put a few dollars in my pocket, and started 
for the theatre. The next morning, as I was passing 
the old dock, on my way to my boarding-house, I was 
accosted by a rough-looking set of fellows, who wished 
to know what countryman I was. I told them very 
candidly I was an American : they demanded my pro- 
tection ; I let them see it, but kept hold of one corner 
of it. They then compelled me to go with thtm to the 
rendezvous, where I was locked into a room up two 



108 

pairs of stairs, and had the company of ten or a dozen 
of my own sort, though not all Americans. I was 
thoroughly examined by some naval officers, who 
thought best to let me go at liberty. I carried all sail 
and flying colours for about three months. 

Cold storms, hard fare, and bufleting weaves, 

I quickly then forgot; 
Roast turkies, and pies, and all the heart craves, 

Were every day brought hot. 
The table was clear'd, and the music did play, 
Time flew on the pinions of pleasure each day; 
My money refus'd in my pocket to stay; 
My landlady smiPd, when to me she did say, 
" Poor fellow! jolly bold fellow^! 
Learn to be sober and wise." 

After spending a few weeks with little or no money 
in my pocket, in which I had more pleasure than while 
money lasted, I got a berth as second mate of a ship 
called the Mary Ann, bound to Parim.aribo, in Suri- 
nam. We had a pleasant passage. Our captain was 
a haughty young man, about my age, and w^e became 
very intimate. He took much delight in teaching me 
the art of navigation ; but a circumstance occurred that 
put a period to our fi-iendship. Our captain had been 
a naval ouicer, and attempted to keep up man-of-war's 
rules on board our ship; this did not suit the minds of 
©ur creu^ ; and in endeavouring to cpiell them., a fracas 
ensued, in which the captain beat some of the sailors 
most unmercifully. Myself, vvHih the chief mate, per- 
ceiving- the injustice of the captain, did not interfere; 
and of course were reproved by the captain. Though 



109 

I did not justify the crew in their presence, I did ulicr- 
wards to the captain by himself. He became my ene- 
my, and used every opportunity to abuse me. 1 went 
to the governor of Surinam for redress, but finding none 
to my satisfaction, I left my ship, and lost all my cloth- 
ing. This was a hard one for me, as I had accumu- 
lated an extra good lot of clothes and bedding. I got 
on board of a schooner, and worked my passage to 
Baltimore, during which I suffered greatly with cold, 
as it was in November. If I had governed my tongut', 
and minded my own business in the last ship, I should 
have avoided much difficulty. Though I regretted 
the loss of my clothing, my grief was small, compared 
with the downheartcdness I endured, for want of cash 
to keep up the glory at the dance-houses ; and so fasci- 
nated was my foolish passion, that I would go in my 
old patched sailor dress, and get into one corner of the 
ball-room, where my sorrow would be extremely ex- 
cited, that I could only be a spectator. Sometimes, 
when by some means I got a dollar or two, my life 
would come to me ; but alas ! how short lived was the 
elysium ! Like the morning cloud and the early dew, 
It soon passed away. 

When fir^t I took to drinking, 

I thought it was no harm; 
It seem'd a silly pleasure, 

That did me not alarm : 
But soon the vile temptation 

Had gain'd the victory ; 
I had no inclination 

For sober company. 



no 

Fox fifteen years, and over, 

I carried on the sway ; 
I seldom had a garment, 

Was fit to cast away: 

My money, while it lasted, 

Was liberal and free ; 
And when it was exhausted, 

For more I plough'd the sea. 

Yes, candid reader ! you may wonder when I tell 
you that I have many times, after spending my hard- 
earned cash in the most exiguous way,, gone on board 
to commence a voyage, without bed or blanket, or a 
change of raiment. Was I a fool when on board, and 
sober? As it regarded my object, I was, but not at 
my duty. For many months, I have had no other 
lodging than the soft side of a chest-lid ; and when the 
watch or all hands was called, springto thedeck, night 
or day, and face the weather. Sometimes the fleecy 
snow* the pelting hail, or sleet ; at others, pouring cold 
rain ; at others, the dry whistling wind, that caused the 
billows to break over the labouring ship.. Sometimf s 
forced to reef and bend the heavy canvass, which had 
been wet with rain, and made stiff like a board with 
frost; then, if permitted to go below, lie down on a 
chest in my vv^et clothes, and while shivering with cold, 
contemplate the anticipated momentary pleasures of a 
dance-house. It is the delight of a sailor, in his night 
watches on deck, in pleasant weather, to get under the 
lee of the long-boat, or walk the deck; and how many 
hours have I spent in this way, with my mind wholly 
employed in reckoning up the sum my wages would 



Ill 

amount to at the end of the voyage, and building casth s 
imaginary for felicity on shore. Thus the prime of 
life passed away, while, unperceived, I was approxi- 
mating the shades of age and lamentation. I shall omit 
the particulars of two years, only stating it in general 
terms as folly. 



A REMARKABLE ADVENTURE. 

IMPRESSMENT AND DESERTION. 



Once more I wander through the busy street,. 
But not a friend that does my coming greet y 
I am forgotten ! Time and care destroy 
The lightsome glee and aspect of the boy. 

Ix August, 1811, I was in London. After sporting 
my money out of my reach, as usual, though it was 
hard times among sailors, there being great numbers 
of foreigners in that city ; it w^as my good fortune to 
get a berth as boatswain of a large armed ship. 

We proceeded (o Tenerifie, got a cargo of wine, 
and shaped our course for Barbadoes, sold part of our 
cargo, and sailed to Kingston, Jamaica, where I was 
again impressed, and forced to go on board of his Bri- 
tannic majesty's ship Prometheus. The yellow^ fever 
began to rage among our crew, and I did not escape. 
While I ^vas sick the ship sailed to the Spanish m^ia,. 



112 

during* which time I was some time delirious; but I 
got well, and, instead of the yellow fever, the ague and 
fever seized me, and our ship proceeded to the Bay of 
Honduras. I, with six or seven others, was sent to 
the hospital, on shore. My heart swelled with joy for 
the prospect this circumstance presented for my escape. 
The hospital was a frame building, with no wall 
around it; but a sentinel stood before the door ; and it 
stood about a quarter of a mile from the town. When 
we entered the hospital, we were each presented with 
a suit of light apparel. I began to despond, thinking 
they would take my ov/n clothes in their custody, and 
thus prevent my escape. How ready discouragements 
are to make their appearance! I retamed my clothes, 
however. While I remained in the hospital my mind 
was in constant agitation, contriving some v/ay to es- 
cape. I got information that the sentinel did not re- 
main by the hospital at night, but was removed some 
distance to a battery near the sea-shore. This tidings 
was to me joyous. I had remained there about four 
days, when, one night, after all had got asleep, I ven- 
tured to put my own clothes on. There were several 
patients in the room where I slept, and a light burn- 
ing. I succeeded in getting out of a window, and 
made the best of my way to the town, to the river side, 
I found a canoe among many others, which were all 
locked, full of mahogany chips and water. I soon 
contrived to break the chain, as I was destitute of oars 
or paddle, I found a bit of plank, that I concluded must 
. ansv/er my purpose. As I proceeded down the small 
river, I w^as somewhat troubled, having to get out into 
the water, up to my middle, as the mud was soft, to 



il3 

shove the canoe off on the mud flats. When I got in- 
to the roadstead I endeavoured to get on board of an 
American brig that lay there, thinking that they would 
assist me to some provisions and fresh water ; but the 
wind blew towards the shore, and I could not reach 
her. While I was worrying along, and shoving the 
canoe from the mud flats, (for the wind Vv^as too strong 
for me,) I had an attack of the ague, and after it the 
fever. I could not stand it; and as I had thrown out 
all the chips, and bailed out the water with one of my 
shoes, I took my tarpawling hat for a pillow, lay down 
in one end of the canoe, and fell asleep, I was awa- 
kened by the daylight gun on board of the Promethe- 
us, which lay the outside ship in the roadstead. The 
wind had shifted and blew from the land, and was 
driving me directly to sea. I began to be in much fear, 
as the day approached, that the officers on board of the 
Prometheus would discover me; for they are always 
provided with the best of spy-glasses. To prevent 
them, I took a black silk handkerchief from my neck, 
put it over my head and face, put my hat on, kept my 
back towards the ship, and let the canoe go right be- 
fore the wind. I thought, if they discovered me, they 
would conclude I was a negro going a fishing. About 
mid-day I drew^near a small island that appeared as if 
it was inhabited. But when I landed, I found nothing 
that was human, but the remains of a habitation, and 
some old broken canoes, from which I got a drink of 
rain w^ater. I started for another island, that appeared 
to be at a distance of about ten miles ahead ; there was 
a small island on my left, that was nearer, but I did 
not think it was inhabited; when I got abreast of it, I 



114 

found my mistake. I strove to head my canoe for if, 
but the wind was so strong as to prevent me. I had 
given it up, and was shaping my course for the large 
island, when I perceived a sm.ali canoe coming towards 
me from the small island on my left. As she approach- 
ed, I saw there were three persons in her. My fears 
began to arise, lest they should apprehend me, and 
convey me back to the man-of-war ; but as they drew 
near, 1 perceived that two of them were females. As 
they came alongside, the man, perceiving that I was 
all of a tremble, clapped his hand on my shoulder, as 
he sprang into my canoe, saying, " Don't be afraid, 
my good fellow! nobody will hurt you here." These 
cheering words quickly reversed the position of my 
spirit, and the two females, with their paddles and little 
canoe, spun their thread to the shore, while the man 
and myself followed after. I found a good habitation 
and civil treatment on this small island, but it was not 
more than twenty miles from the ship I had deserted 
from, and I was in danger, as boats from men-of-war 
frequently came off to this island to purchase tortoise; 
so I availed myself of the first chance to get farther 
away. I got a passage down the coast, in a small 
sloop, to a place called Monkey River, about 130 miles 
distant from the Prometheus : here 1 remained with a 
civil old Scotchman until the Prometheus sailed. Du- 
ring all this time I was afflicted with the ague and fe- 
ver. When I got the news that the man-of-war had 
gone, I began to look out for a passage up to the set- 
tlement, where the shipping lay. There came along 
a large canoe, with six blacks and about a dozen large 
tortoise in her, and I got a passage with them througl^ 



115 

the influence of the old Scotchman that I had been re- 
siding with. As we set sail, we had a slant of wind 
that caused us to stretch some distance from the land; 
we had to down sails, and take to our paddles, and piHl 
towards the shore, against a stiff breeze; it began to 
rain, and was chilly. At this critical time, the ague 
came on me, but I had no retreat ; paddle I must ; and 
as I was not used to it, and rather awkward, I had to 
bear the taunting insults of the negroes. After pulling 
against wund and rain, and the sprays of salt water fly^ 
ing over us, about ten miles, we landed at a miserable 
habitation, where I had to coil down on a trunk, in my 
wet clothes, the remainder of the night. The blacks 
kindled a large fire in the open air, around which they 
danced and sang till their clothes were dry ; and as it 
had. ceased raining, they lay down and slept till morn- 
ing. I would gladly have shared w^ith them, but as I 
knew I should have been an unwelcome guest, I kept 
from them. But the benefit t)f this tedious task was not 
small — no less than getting clear of the fever and ague. 
As there was no travelling by land along this coast, 
but in vessels, canoes, or boats, our lodging and fare 
were much the same as the first each night, until we 
reached the settlement, paddling each day about thirty 
miles, with the wdnd constantly ahead. 

After working some time for my victuals, from one 
vessel to another, I obtained permission, and worked 
my passage in a sloop to Philadelphia. This was in 
March, 1812. I went to Boston, and shipped as quar- 
ter-master on board the United States ship John Adams. 
In June, you know, the war was declared against 
Britain. Our ship proceeded to New- York. After a 



116 

few months, I got liberty to go on shore, and was sadly 
disappointed at finding the one on whom I had placed 
my greatest affection bound to another man ; but she 
was not to blame, as I had not revealed my mind to 
her previously. 

If she had but known that I lov'd her before — 
(Oh ! why was I backward in opening my mind?) 

Had I but inform'd her, when I was on shore, 
I am sure unto me she'd not prov'd so unkind. 

I suppose you will tell me to seek for some other. 
But where can I find one my passion to quell? 

I may search this wide world quite over and over, 
But never can find one that I love so well. 

With myself I was vexed, and sorely perplexed, 
To think I had lost the once pride of my heart: 

But since it's too true, I will bid her adieu ; 
So farewell for ever, for now we must part. 

When I weot on shore from the John Adams, I had 
no intention of deserting her ; but the above-mentioned 
circumstance wrought so hard on my mind, that I tra- 
velled off in deep reflection, leaving all behind, and 
arrived at New-London, where it was my good fortune 
to be promoted to the station of gunner of a privateer, 
called the Joel Barlow. While fitting out this vessel, 
a circumstance took place that nearly cost me my life. 
I was induced by some of my fellow officers to accom- 
pany them to a frolic, where I got into conversation 
with a young woman, just to carry on the fun, who 
happened to be the wife of an Italian — one of the jeal- 
sOUs, blood-thirsty sort ; the idea of her having a husband 



117 

had not entered my mind ; but his cruel jealousy ex- 
cited his rage so that he sought an opportunity, and 
stabbed me — for which offence he was sent to state 
prison for seven years. His wife's father and mother 
were his most inveterate enemies, and said many hard 
things against him in court. It weis my desire to let 
him go at liberty in the morning after the deed was 
done,, but his friends (if I may so term them) would 
have him off to jail- 
There have been many gallant and noble exploits 
left on record, of battles fought by our American pri- 
vateeis, some of which are worthy of notice in the an- 
nals of devilish integrity and vain glory ; but records 
of our cruise in the Joel Barlow, I think, will convey 
a repugnant sentiment. We made sail on a cruise 
among the West India islands ; but our brave com- 
mander, first lieutenant, and sailing-master, were so 
terrified with fear (and who can blame them?) of 
losing their lives or liberty, that every vessel was in 
their estimation a powerful enemy; and of course, the 
farther we kept from them, the better they were suited. 
One morning before daylight, however, we got so close 
to a small schooner, that they could not well avoid 
overhauling her; she was about 25 tons. Says our 
brave captain, "By zounds! we'll have her!" She 
proved to be a droger, laden with Indian corn, to re- 
lieve the craving appetite of the half-starved negroes 
suffering on some plantation. How their hunger was 
alleviated I know not, but I expect they were much dis- 
appointed ; for our brave captain ordered her to be 
scuttled, and had the pleasure of seeing her go down. 
What littleness of mind does the spirit of war excite in 



118 

some men, who fain would be considered as noble 
characters ! 

After a two months^ cruise, we returned to New- 
London with a prize, a brig of 60 tons, in ballast; the 
sailors mocked our captain, calling him the captain of 
the sawdust privateer. I then went as gunner on board 
of the Teazer ; she had previously been very success- 
ful in the art of plundering, but I had no lot nor part 
in this business; for we had been but four days at sea» 
when we were captured by his Britannic majesty's 
ship St. Domingo, commanded by sir John B. Warren. 
Our vessel was destroyed by fire, and we were con- 
veyed to Bermuda, put on board of a prison ship, and 
detained on hard fare and short allowance for three 
months. We should have been kept longer, and per- 
haps, like many other prisoners, sent to England; but 
the British wanted the men that were captured by De- 
catur in the Macedonian, so they fitted out a quartel and 
sent us to the States. I concluded to quit privateering, 
not because 1 disliked the principle, but because I was 
not fortunate. I went four voyages in merchant ves- 
sels — two to Portugal, and two to the West Indies. 
As I was in New- York in the summer of 1814, when 
there was a famous privateer fitting out, called the 
General Armstrong, I concluded to try my luck in her. 
We proceeded to sea, and after chasing vessels, and 
being chased by several British war ships, in seventeen 
days we came to anchor at Fayal, where, the first 
night, we were blockaded by three British men-of-war, 
a brig of 22 guns called the Coronation, a frigate of 
48 guns called the Deruyter, and a 74 gun shipcalled 
the Plantagenet. We had 7 guns, and 93 men and 



119 

'boys. After three battles, in which we had two killed 
and eight or ten wounded, we bloweda plank from the 
bottom of OUT vessel, and evacuated her; the British 
took possession of her, and burned her remains. The 
British loss, by information from their own officers, 
was 211 killed and wounded. After being- provided 
for by the American consul on the island two months, 
he procured a vessel, and sent us to Amelia Island. 
Nine miles from thence, at St. Mary's, I shipped in the 
United States service, as boatswain of Gun Boat No. 
63. Peace was proclaimed the next spring, and as the 
squadron of gun boats lay at Savannah, myself and four 
others cleared out, and tramped to Charleston, South 
Carolina. After a fortnight's foolish career at the lat- 
ter place, I got a berth as boatswain of a large ship 
bound to Holland, called the Rufus King. 

When we arriv'd in Holland, 

It was my first delight ; 
The ship was scarcely moor'd, when 

On shore I went that night; 
In dancing and carousing, 
"-' I pass'd away my time, 

Till daylight in the morning, 

Not thinking of my crime. 

In Holland I got myself into a hobble, through my 
foolish wickedness, that lasted four years. The inci- 
dents were these: myself and two of my shipmates 
had been sporting in a dance-house one night till late. 
As we were returning to the ship, we staggered in,to a 
a house-yard, stumbled over some furniture, kettles, 
mhs^ &c , and for revenge, or to serve the devil oux 



120 

master, we took each of us a load By some means 
we were traced out, and a guard sent to apprehend us. 
When the soldiers came to arrest us, I had just awoke 
from a snooze I had been taking, while the impetuous 
workings of too much gin were subsiding in my sys- 
tem. They succeeded in getting us out of the ship or 
to the quay, and surrounded us. I cast a wishful eye 
towards a gin shop not far distant ; I really imagined 
that I wanted some. As I slipped from among the 
soldiers, and started for the desired dram, the group of 
sailors (that had collected from the different vessels on 
the occasion) began to stone the soldiers, who had to 
retreat, some of them seriously wounded. Three of 
the soldiers came and blockaded the door of the gin 
shop which I had entered, but I knocked one down and 
jumped over him, and cleared from them.. They were 
very much enraged, as you may easily imagine; but 
the dance-house baited us ; for as we were sporting 
there the next day, they mustered a large group of sol- 
diers and citizens, and with clubs and pitchforks sur- 
rounded the house. We were taken, and shut up in a 
dark cell, with plenty of straw, dirty, and alive with 
fleas. All the light we had was by a few holes, about 
as large as musket balls, in an iron window. Once 
each day, the jailor visited us with a vessel, just like a 
swill-pail, half full of boiled potatoes, and about a tea- 
cupful of some sort of fat or grease. The times were 
sad'ly changed. On board, we had plenty of good food 
and grog, and comfortable lodgings. Little did I con- 
sider this chastening for the best ; I thought it hardly 
endurable, but was convinced of my error by its long 
duratloa. We were transported on foot,, with our arms 



121 

bound behind us, to Alkmaar, a city about thirty miles 
distant ; this jaunt took two days ; at night, we had to 
lodge in an old castle alone, where the accommoda- 
tions were as before described. 

We were conducted to a large prison in Alkmaar, 
where each of us had a separate cell, and better provi- 
sions, and good lodgings; but after we had been sepa- 
rately examined by a justice, we were permitted to as- 
semble together in a large room during the day, where 
there were thirty or forty thieves as bad as ourselves^ 
besides robbers and murderers. O, how tedious the 
days and hours passed ! We remained here about four 
months, when we again had to go through a process 
of transportation to Amsterdam, a three days' jaunt ; we 
were conducted by two deeners (constables) one of us 
each day. We lodged the first night in the large vil- 
lage of Bever Vake ; my view of it was very limited, 
as I only went through one of its streets, and was con- 
fined to my bed of straw during my stay. The next 
night, we lodged in the city of Harlaam, and thence 
were marched to Amsterdam, where we were shut up, 
and had to remain six weeks for trial. I did not view 
the weight of my crime in the same notch the Dutch 
authorities did. I thought I had already received pu- 
nishment greater than I deserved ; I had been deprived 
of my liberty six months, and loaded the inhuman 
Dutchmen with bitter imprecations for their cruelty. 
But O, what depression of soul did I feel, when my sen- 
tence was pronounced that I was to remain in prison 
yet five years! I was then about twenty-six years of 
age, and viewed the prim.e of my life as already in ob- 
livion. O, how cutting to the soul is such a prospect I 



122 

And what was the amount? Nothing but good, if my 
mind had been properly exercised while I \vas in con- 
finement; I was among culprits; my desire w^as to be 
among society as vile. It was not being deprived of 
the privilege of doing good that grieved me; it was 
not a desire to be buffeting the boisterous ocean that 
caused me to mourn ; the dance-house, the idle, gaudy 
train, the grog-house, and the sound of heart-reviving 
music — it was the want of these that harrowed my feel- 
ings. By some means I became in possession of a 
New Testament in English print. This book I took 
some satisfaction in reading; but I was taken with a 
fit of sickness, and was several days delirious, and 
when the right use of my understanding came to me, 
it was near noon on a pleasant day in August. I was 
not a little surprised to behold two candles burning on 
a table at the foot of my bed ; but I was soon relieved 
from my consternation by a Roman Catholic priest, 
who was sitting by my bedside, and who began asking 
me many queer questions concerning my evil habits. 
I must have made a good confession, for I candidly an- 
swered all he asked me, and I don't think he forgot 
anything; for he had it all at tongue's end — it was his 
trade. Many things he asked me such as I desired to 
practise, that I should not have thought of as being sin- 
ful at that time. " But," said he, *' 1 saw that you had 
a New Testament here. Don't you know that you 
should not have that?" 

" No, sir," I replied ; " i thought it was the best 
book I could get. Don't you make the New Testa- 
ment the foundation of your tenets?" 

" O yes !" said he ; " but you don't understand it — 



1-23 

you don't take the right meaning of it ; it is only for the 
priests to understand the Bible." 

I believed him by my own experience, for I knew I 
was ignorant of its meaning. He gave me a prayer- 
book, with his verbal directions how to use it, and I 
became a Roman Catholic; and I suppose I knew as 
much of the doctrine of Christ as he did, experimen- 
tally; for my desires continued the same as before, 
and my practices not in the least amended. I was 
mindful, a small portion of each day, to read the collect 
and prayer for that day ; but after a while, I became 
necessitated for tobacco, and, Esau like, I sold my pa- 
pist birthright for a morsel of self-gratifying, stinking 
weed. The beautiful city of Harlaam was the place 
of my destination, whither I was transported, and had 
to become reconciled to the discipline of a common 
convict's prison. Here we had three scanty meals each 
day, composed of potatoes and beans, turnips, &c. ; 
once each week a small piece of stock fish ; one day 
each week a small piece of pork, and another day a 
piece of beef; all this was no more than a name. We 
were not compelled to work or labour, but had the pri- 
vilege ; and when necessity made us work, we received 
pay for it, and steady diligence would procure us to- 
bacco, and many other notions, to m.ake our living 
more agreeable. Our chief employment was knitting 
tish-nets, an easy work, which I soon got the knack of, 
and also soon learned the Dutch speech. But O, how 
drearily did the time pass ! The chief topic amongus 
was contemplating, studying, contriving, and talking 
(for w^e were not ashamed or afraid of divulging our 
tavourite schemes and plans to each other,) of methods 



124 

how to be revenged on somebody, no matter who, for 
the imagined wrongs we sustained ; but the rich were 
the sufferers generally aimed at. I got one year's par- 
don ; so, after passing four long summers, for the loss 
of the pleasant si^asons was the most regretted, I again 
enjoyed the blessing of liberty ; and it is a blessing in- 
deed. None but those who have long been deprived of 
it can place a true value on it ; and surely the best 
method of finding the true value of anything, is to be 
deprived of it. 1 know well the gloom that seems to 
surround all creation, when the body is in bondage, and 
the mind still more securely enslaved by the obscure 
chain of hell. 

For some time after 1 got my liberty, I would fre- 
quently stop and look around me, and think, what a 
privilege it was to go where 1 pleased. I first directed 
my course on foot, about forty-two miles distant, 
to the Helder, where I again embraced the gratifying 
sight of the shipping; but how quick was my spirit re- 
versed, when 1 heard that none of them wanted hands ; 
and I went from ship to ship, but in vain, in quest of a 
situation. One thing against me was, I made a shabby 
appearance, my clothing was poor, I had no cash, and 
it was horrid dull times in that country for the poor. — 
But the old man, to whose gin shop I fled from the sol- 
diers, as before staged, recollected me for good. I might 
have starved, if it had not b;^en for his compassion. 
He fed me, and frequently gave me the desired reviving 
dram ; but his little shop vas stored so full of goods, 
that he could not lodge me, and he had just got married. 
He was liberal, and he was getting fat too ; he also bore 
excellent marks of a contented mind. Every thing 



125 

went well with him. He had not felt the evil of selling 
gin yet. The nights were chilly, and I had no place to 
sleep but in a corner of an old desolate dwelling-house, 
in my daily habiliments. I could not bear to continue 
lono-'a burden upon the old man's charity. With a 
heavy heart 1 directed my steps to the side of a Dutch 
man-of-war, which was fitting out for the East-Indies. 
It was a long trip, and blasted my hopes of getting to 
mv native land. I had heard so much said about the 
cruel treatment in the Dutch navy, that it was quite dis- 
couraging ; but there was no other way for me. I had 
discarded all my premeditated plans, and base, vile de- 
sires of revenge, w^hich had been my favourite contem- 
plation while in confinement. I asked the sentinel if 
ihey wanted hands on board the ship? He immediate- 
ly hailed the ship, and made my object known. I was 
admitted on board, and they gave me a job, (as I had 
not much the appearance of a sailor,) to find out whether 
I was one or not. They were soon satisfied, and I was 
conducted to the cabin, where I sold myself for four 
years more, almost as little desirable as those I had just 
passed through. I had not been a month on board, 
when, one day, as we had been hard at work till late, 
without our dinners, I was irritated, and said, I had ra- 
ther be 20 years on board a British man of war, than 
one year here. I was overheard by an officer ; these 
words were taken as contempt, or nearly as mutiny ; 
and I was ordered to the quarter-deck. Two quarter- 
masters, each with a rope's end, were ordered. I had 
to take about fifty blows, not slightly performed. This 
was a sad commencement ; but I most dreaded the dis- 
pleasure of the officers, and the dismal prospect of four 



126 

years^ service. My load was heavy. As I was busy^ 
the next ch.y, between two guns, the same lieutenant 
came along and spoke to me in a mild manner. 1 em- 
braced the opportunity to solicit his forgiveness. He 
replied. '* I don't hold malice; behave for the future, and 
you'll do well enough." These were encouraging words, 
and hope began to revive. This lieutenant, from that 
time, showed me many favours, and became my power- 
ful friend. We weighed anchor, and made sail from 
Texel roads, had heavy gales, and head winds, and 
were drove about in all directions, in the north sea, and 
British channel, for the first four weeks. We got a fair 
wind, which run us past the Madeiras, Canaries, and 
Cape de Verd Islands. But when we drew near the 
Equator, we were put on three half-pints of water each 
day. This was scanty, and caused us to suffer with 
thirst, a burning sun, and salt provisions ; but we had 
to endure it. We put into Rio de Janeiro, in the Bra- 
zils, got a tVesh supply of water, and some fresh provi- 
sions ; but were very near losing the ship on a reef of 
rocks, as we were leaving the harbour. We steered 
our course to the south-east, till we caught the variable 
winds, then steered due east, and passed the Cape of 
Good Hope, in latitude 38 deg. It was about the month 
of August, and we were supplied with frequent squalls 
of hail and snow, and successive heavy gales. The top 
men had most to suffer; for they were constantly e^- 
posDd, loosing and furling sails. 

Each successive galcy the hatches were all battened 
down, except a small one, near the after part of ihe 
ship, a scuttle about two feet square ; and only one per- 
son could ascend or descend at one and the same time. 



127 

And when the watch helow got to their hammocks, th«i 
scuttle was shut and secured, to keep the water from de- 
scending, which was constantly dashing over the ship, 
and through the port-holes Tho water would be a foot 
deep on the gun decks above us, as we lay in our ham- 
mocks, so that we were perfectly surrounded with water. 
I will leave the reader to judge what would have been 
the fatal consequences, if the sea had broke over the 
ship, and sent her on her beam-ends a^ sometimes does 
happen ; or if a sudden heavy squal ;had struck us. If 
you don't know, as I expect many of my readers may 
not understand sea terms, I will inform you : we should 
most probably have £;one to the bottom, ship and all. 
Consider wliat a length of lime ii would require for 
over 100 men to ascend the small scuttle before de- 
scribed. Tiie above is but a sample of the many such 
scenes I have witnessed and endured, and v/hich are in 
constant operation on the seas. We ran an east course 
till we got sight of a couple of small islands in the In- 
dian ocean, called St. Paul's and Amsterdam. These 
islands are the antipodes to us in the States ; or, as it 
is more generally termed, the land nearest under us. 
From these islands, w^e steered about N^. N. E., across 
the trade winds, or rather, a>; they are termed in those 
eountries. the east monsoons, and after a passage of four 
months from Holland^ we dropped anchor at Anyer 
Biy, thU is, windy bay. The friendly Malays spun 
their small canoes and prows from the shore to salute 
us ; the bay v/as almost covered, and their songs rang 
through the air. It was, " Manah datam, O Belanda l 
manah datam, A ?" that is, ** Where did you come 
from, O white man ! where did vou come from, ha V" 



129 

and we were soon supplied with abundance of fruit, 
eggs, monkeys, parroquets, fresh fish, geese, fowls, 
ducks, (Sjc, at a cheaper rate than I had ever witnessed 
elsewhere. 

We proceeded to Batavia, the capital of Java. There 
was great rejoicing and firing of cannon on our arrival, 
for we presented the governor with a very fine ship. 
She mounted thirty brass cannon, all as bright as gold ; 
and all the iron work that was in view was polished, and 
appeared as silver. Our arrival w^as in good time, for 
the native Malays had revolted at a settlement on 
Sumatra, called Palambang ; they had massacred a num- 
ber of the European settlers there, and the rest had to 
flee to save their lives. The Dutch government were 
fitting out an expedition of all the force they could mus- 
ter, to reclaim the place. Our ship was destined to 
join them, but the}^ gave us three weeks' recreation, as 
a recompense for our long and tedious passage ; about 
seventy Malays and Chinese were sent on board our 
ship to do the work, while we were well supplied with 
good fresh provisions, and plenty of grog and wine.^ 
You may imagine there would be much confusion, in* 
consequence of so much liquor among so many wild 
sailors. This would most likely have been the case on 
board of an American or British man-of-war, but I ob- 
served nothing but harmony on this occasion. We 
weighed anchor, made sail, passed along near the plea- 
sant coast of Sumatra, and came to anchor near the 
Admiral's ship, that was lying at the island of Mentor, 
in the Straits of Banka. The squadron had been up the 
river to Palambang, made an attack on their batteries, 
got defeated with great loss, about 600 killed, and their 



129 

shipping sadly damaged. Here again, being a day after 
the fair, I kept out oftiiat wofui scrape. It is better to 
be born lucky than rich ; the worst of it is, I have no 
share of vain glory to boast of. 

As I was a supernumerary among about 20 others, 

we were sent on board of the admiral's ship, to be dis- 

tributed umong the other ships, as the admiral t iough: 

proper. It fell to my lot to be sent on board a frigate 

called the Wilhelmena. As this vessel had been in the 

van of the engagement at Paiambang, and was much 

shattered by cannon balls, we were ordered to Surabaah, 

a harbour near the east end of Java, where there was a 

navy yard, for the purpose of repairing. We had 

scarcely hands enough to get the anchor up, but with 

much ado we accomplished it, and proceeded to Bata- 

[ via. Here agam it was my fortune to share with this 

i crew the same space of time and privileges of recrea- 

^ tion as before described on board of the other ship, aad 

;; which was performed with nearly the same harmony; 

i about IGO Malays were sent on board, who assisted in 

?: getting the ship to Surabaah. I was taken with a dis- 

order very prevalent in tliat country, called the flux ; of 

which there died from our ship, on an average, about 

one each week ; I was aboiat a month in the doctor's 

list, went through a course of mercury, and got well 

again. As soon as we got to Surabaah, we commenced 

getting guns, stores, ballast, and ammunition out of the 

ship, also stripping her masts of rigging and sails ; this 

was hard work in that hot climate, and 1 began to think 

hard of it, became discontented, and my constant study 

was how to get away. 

As I felt a little indisposed one day, I went to the 
9 



doctor, I thought I was sick, for my mind was so dis- 
turbed and dissatisfied, that I felt it all over. The best 
medicine I received from the doctor was orders to get 
ready to go to the hospital. I was sent in the boat that 
went to market in the morning, and ihey left me at the 
navy yard, about a mile and a half up the river, there 
to await the arrival of a canoe that plied daily between 
the town and hospital, a distance of four miles by wa- 
ter, and but three by land. I was much delighted to 
find myself once more on land, as I had been deprived 
of the privilege for nearly a year ; and if I had not been 
on the sick list, I could have danced for joy. The 
Malay arrived with his canoe ; I got in ; and our pro- 
gress up the river was very slow, as the poor fellow had 
to push her along with a pole. I was accommodated 
with a mat and pillow under a roof that was fixed over 
the hinder end of the canoe. As the poor Malay was 
pushing and tugging, and we were slowly passing under 
bridges that lay across the winding stream, I was drawn 
into meditation on the delightful scene around me, and 
the sudden happy change I had all at once experienced. 
On board of a war ship, all that meets the eye is bustle 
and confusion ; here, in this pleasant wood, rothing is 
to be beheld but the gayest scene of nature. I had just 
left a man-of-war, where most frequently the ear is sa- 
luted with blasphemy, imprecations, oaths, and all sori& 
of nonsense- — and that from beings capable of using all 
their faculties In a reasonable course. Here, in this 
grove, how striking the contrast ! The gentle breezes 
among the leaves — the harmonious chorus of ihe inno- 
cent feathered multitude — -the lowing of cattle in the 
adjacent fields— the sound of the distant gong (that is. 



131 

the Malay or Chinese bell, a large cask with a green 
cowhide stretched over one end, like a drum head ; it 
is smitten with a large mallet, and makes a heavy, loud 
sound, by which the time of day and the time of their 
devotion is designated,) — these were more to be desired 
than the vociferous language which had so long assailed 
my ears. In a man-of-war^ the attention is constantly 
occupied by a display of implements of war ; in this 
wood, the God of nature displays the emblems of peace 
and rest in a most delightful picture. In a war ship, all 
tends to frustrate the soul, and keep temper on the move, 
as a saw in operation. How could I be but tranquil, as 
it were alone, in this pleasant wood, for I could not yet 
understand the Malay tongue 1 

We arrived in sight of a spacious edifice, and landed 
abreast of it, at a distance of forty rods from it. I did 
not suppose it was the hospital, its appearance was so 
grand, surpassing the structure of any building I had yet 
seen; for the buildings in that country are ordinary, 
and many of them composed of bamboo, (that i^, a large 
reed.) I was conducted through a long delightful arch- 
way, composed of vines, under which was a smooth clay 
hard-trodden walk, each side of v/hich was selvaged 
with about four feet 'of green grass, till I came to the 
hospital, where I ascended a stairway inta a piazza that 
surrounded the building. I was soon visited by the doc- 
tor, w^ho commanded the attendants to bring me a suit 
of clean linen clothes ; this done, they conducted me to 
a clean room, in which there were about thirty patients, 
and showed me my lodgings. **But," you will say, 
" you was not sick ; how comes it that the doctor was 
not aware of that ? You had more need of the cook's 



132 

assistance than the doctor's." The symptoms of the 
dysentery are not easily perceived, and their credulity 
was also in my favour ; they did not think a man would 
say he was sick, if he was not. I now know that it was 
far from rectitude, and felt condemned in the time of it ; 
but what carnal-minded person is there, who would not 
cut the chain of bondage with any weapon he could get 
hold of? As mercury is found to be the surest remedy 
for the flux or diarrhoea, that is very fatal in that coun- 
try, I had to go through a course of that medicine, and 
was a fortnight with my tongue swollen, and my mouth 
so sore that I could not bear boiled rice in it ; I then 
found out that something ailed me. When I got better, 
the head doctor kept me from going on board of the 
frigate, thai I might assist him as interpreter ; for there 
were many American and English sailors in that hospi. 
tal, and the doctor could not speak with them. This 
situation suited me as well as to be on board at hard la- 
bour, but I had many dismal scenes to witness ; some 
in acute agony, some dying ; more or less every day 
were conveyed to the dead ward ; many drop into the 
grave there, whose fatal end is for ever obscured from 
their friends and relatives. Witnessing so many deaths 
had but little effect on me at that time. When a dead 
body came to my view, it would bring something of an 
indifferent solemnity over me, and I would think, " Well, 
there goes another ; my turn will come by and by." 

My sympathy was often excited by the heart-rending 
emotions exhibited by some, who had their senses in 
their last moments. One or two in particular excited 
my attention, viz : the mate of an Indiaman, a large ship 
galled the Borneo ; he was a young man, and had a 



133 

young wife ia Londou. He had her profile with hiix. 
Just before he died, he would frequently pull it from his 
bosom, and would gaze upon it with great intensity and 
solicitude, while the tears were streanning down his 
face. O deluded nian ! the beloved beautiful clay was 
his god, in those critical and precious moments. John 
Rollands, a young man about 20 years of age, was my 
companion, before he died ; and I attended him in his 
last moments : with writhing, and bitter lamentations, 
he expired. " My mother ! oh my mother !" he would 
frequently exclaim ; and to think and speak of her seem- 
ed to be all his desire. The old saying is, " One's meat 
is the other's poison." The reverse of this saying was 
the case with me ; for every one that died gave me 
what money they had, till it amounted to ten or twelve 
dollars. This made me feel rich again, and I longed 
to get where I could spend it. 

For fear that I should be called on, to go on board, 
I asked liberty to go to town, knowing that it was a rule 
of the head doctor's to give each patient liberty to go, 
for his own recreation, the day previous to their being 
sent on board. This was my last, and only chance to 
purchase my brush. I got my liberty, and, the next 
day, put on my best' clothes, not forgetting the cash in 
the pockets of the old ones. I slowly marched through 
the grove, before described, to the town ; and called for 
my dinner at a tavern, kept by a Spaniard that spoke 
both Dutch and English. I sounded him on the sub- 
ject of my intention to get away from the frigate ; and 
found him true. He gave me information of a mer- 
chant at Grissea, a sea- port about twelve miles distant^ 
that had a large ship on the stocks, and wanted Euro- 



134 

pean or American seamen to rig her ; and he also in^ 
formed me that this merchant had two clever fellows 
there already; an Englishman, by the name of Smith, 
and a Hanoversman. My mind was, as it were, on 
wings. *• That's the place for me," said I. But I had 
to pass close by the frigate I was deserting. These 
thoughts sank my spirit again ; yet the good Spaniard 
told me not to fear. After dinner the Spaniard sent 
one of his Malay servants (the Malays knew nothing 
of my intention, for they could not understand us,) to 
show me where the passage boats lay that went to Gris- 
sea. Lucky was I that none of the frigate's officers 
met me ; for if they had, the jig would have been up. 
But I hired a canoe, and proceeded down the river, and 
availed myself of the benefits of a little roof on the after 
end of the canoe. Thus I passed the frigate unper- 
ceived. I gave the two Malays, who managed the ca- 
noe, all the loose change I had. This was an addition 
to their fee. I then made signs for them to go ahead. 
In a little more than an hour, I was landed at Grissea; 
but I saw none that I could speak to, or understand ; 
and the Malays, Arabs, Persians, and Chinamen gazed 
so intensely at me, that I thought they all knew 1 was 
a deserter. I strayed along through the town apace, not 
knowing who to inquire of, till 1 spoke to a Chinaman, 
the only one that could speak Dutch among all the re«t 
in town ; and he pointed me to the habitation of Smith, 
the Englishman ; who, when I entered his room, was as 
glad to see me as if we had formerly been intimate; and 
the bottle and glass were soon on the table. 1 found 
him to be a true fellow, and told him 1 had deserted. 
He said I must not tell De Greet so ; this was the mer- 



135 

ciianrs name by whom Smith was employed. The place 
where Smith resided, was a large vvare-house establish- 
ment, where De Groet's goods were deposited. And 
when he came the next day, to view his premises, I 
agreed to stay m his employ, telling him I had been left 
on shore from a merchant ship. De Groet had a schoon- 
er, which Frederick, the Hanoverraan, was commander 
of: and he sent me on board with him as mate ; thus I 
was at once promoted ; how lucky ! and more yet, I 
had no labor to perform. We made a couple of trips 
-down the coast of Java to a small town called Kanantee, 
where tlie ship was building. The frigate sailed for Pa- 
lambang, and I became my own negro. As all the go- 
vernment vessels were not enough to blockade and sub- 
due the native rebels at Palam bang, and they were fitting 
out an expedition for that purpose, De Groet hired his 
schooner to government, as a cruiser to guard the coast 
of Java against the plundering pirates, who came from 
the coast of Malacca, and very much annoyed the fish- 
ing and merchant trades. Frederick was to have the 
command ; and I went with him as first lieutenant, or 
aid-de-camp* Our vessel mounted six cannon, besides 
muskets, and other arms; and thirty -six men, with a 
iong swaggering pendant, also a drum and fife. Away 
we sailed, with a stock of vain glory seed. We ranged 
the coast for 150 miles, boarding and overhauling every 
vessel we fell in with ^- but found no pirates among 
4 hem. We were stationed to cruise under the joint di- 
rection of two Residents ; the one governed a small 
sea-port, called Poccallongon : the other, a similar place, 
called Teagal. We proceeded to the latter port, where 
we received orders to take charge, and wait till a large 



1^6 

raft of government timber was put together. This we~ 
were to convey to Batavia, the capital^ a distance of 
IGO miles. While waiting for this raft, I had the pri- 
vilege of many excursions along the coast, and in the 
country. The native males of these countries are in- 
dolent, careless, and easy ; they don^t appear to be 
concerned for the future r if the Malays have rice in 
their houses, which is their chief sustenance^ they sel- 
dom think of labour while the rice lasts ; they are inof- 
fensive, easy entreated, and good servants, when not ir- 
ritated ; but barbarous, cruel and savage, if tliey are op-^ 
pr^essed, and can get the power. The females are more 
frugal and industrious. It is common for a man to 
have several wives, who support him in idleness, by 
their economy and industry. Few men are seen in the 
market, selling or buying; and as you walk through 
the pleasant spicy groves, around the suburbs of their 
cities and villages, you will hear the clacking of their 
looms, in every direction. They sit flat on the ground^ 
when weaving, and the whole loom, or wraving uten- 
sils, are held in their laps, fastened around their waists, 
and to their feet. It is hard to find a Malay by his 
name ; for, when he gets tired of one name, he goes ta 
his priest, and, for a trifling sum, gets another. 

As the fresh water atTeagal was unhealthy, we hired 
a small prow ; that is, a vessel, to bring a few casks 
from Berbes, a river about twelve miles distant. I took 
two Malay sailors, and a couple of muskets, for the pur- 
pose of hunting wild swine, which were plenty in the 
island of Java. We ascended the river, about two 
miles, to a village ofbamboo houses, inhabited entirely 
by Malays. I was conducted and introduced to the 



137 

Dcman, that is, the head man, or ruler of the village, 
r was received kindly, and treated with great respect. 
All at once the servants were put in motion, as if the 
house was on fire ; and the dinner was spread on a 
platform, elevated about fifteen inches from the ground, 
covered with mats, which also served as their bedding. 
Tiiey had no chairs ;. each one took his seat, as it were^ 
on the table. I informed the Deman of my desire and 
intention, to try to shoot some pigs after dinner. He 
went to a corner in the room, where was a joint of 
bamboo, about two feet and a half in length, and ten. 
inches in diameter, with a square hole in the top of it,. 
from whence he took a mallet, and began to thump the 
bamboo ; the rattling was alarming ; this was the towii= 
bell. I was in consternation, but soon understood the 
meaning, by seeing a multitude about the house. TiiC 
Deman ordered such as had muskets to get them in or- 
der before evening, for the purpose of accompanying 
himself and me on a hunting excursion. During the 
afternoon, I took a canoe and four men, andWent eight 
miles further up the river, to another village. On my 
passage, i jjad a pleasing prospect of the indigo and rice 
fields, which extended on low, level planes, as far as- 
the eye can reach. The indigo, when growing, has 
the appearance of beans ; the rice that of oats. I had 
also an opportunity of observing the sagacity of the 
carabow, or Java buffdlo, which has more the appear- 
ance of an ox. They graze in the cool of the day ^ 
about 10 o'clock A. M., they regularly and uniformly 
march in droves to the water, wade in till they are all 
under except tlie tip of their nose, and remain in that 
position till about two o'clock P. M. ; and then they 



1S6 

return to the fields, to fill themselves with grass again. 
Up this river there was a ship on the stocks, about 200 
tons ; notwithstanding at the mouth of the river there 
was a bar, never affording more than two feet of wa- 
ter. How they got her over it, I know not. I return- 
ed to the village, near the mouth of the river ; and af- 
ter supper, we started in quest of the pigs. They mus- 
tered three old muskets in the village, but one of them 
had no lock. 

These three men, the Deman, and three or four ser- 
vants, with refreshments and something to drink, my 
two men, and myself, all started out of the village, and 
began to trace the edges of the rice and indigo fields. 
After two hours h silent tramp, and not a grunt had 
been heard, I thought best to separate ; and took my 
two men, and steered my own course, while I kept them 
quite a distance behind me. I lay down between two 
hillocks, awhile, to listen, and heard a grunting at a 
small distance; it was dark, and I could see nothing; 
I fired at the sound, heard one squeel, and scamper 
towards the woods. My two men thought I had him, 
and came running to me. They thoroughly surveyed 
about four acres of ground, three times over, in Vain 
for the pig. I thought best to call it a lost chance, and 
give it up. I was about in the centre of a large field, 
and it was very dark, so that it was in vain for me to 
study the course to the village, which must have been 
four or six miles distant. It was my good fortune to 
find the bank of the river, and I was certain that I vvas 
up stream from the village. I took a piece of white 
paper that I had in my pocket, split a stick, drew the 
pa|)er in the split, and hove it a small distance into the 



139 

river, by which means I found out ; down stream I 
traced the bank, and near daylight found the village ; 
so with this exploit of iiunting, I made out about as well 
as I commonly had done with all my undertakings ; I 
left the pigs, got my water, and made all sail for the 
schooner. 

Frederick had got the raft under way, and having 
impressed a ship belonging to a Malay king to help to 
tow the raft from the coast, had commenced his passage 
to Batavia. The king, being himself on board of his 
ship, and finding himself gliding so far from the shore 
on to the bosom of the great water, began to be fearful, 
and begged Frederick to let him return home ; but the 
raft vvas government property, and an officer in govern, 
ment service in that country had power over a native 
king. This raft was strongly put together, composed 
chiefly of large timber ; it was 100 feet long, about 60 
broad, and 24 deep, 18 feet of it under water; there 
was a house on it, and 100 men attached to it, with ten 
small vessels to tow it along ; there was also a mast and 
sail, as large as a 74 gun ship's maintopsail, on it, a 
capstan, and three anchors and cables, the anchors 
vveighing about 2000 pounds each. Our business was 
lo make them keep a right course, and keep the pirates 
from molesting it. As the Malays are very inattentive, 
and too indolent to trim their sails in case of the wind's 
varying or hauling, I frequently had to take the boat, 
with eight or ten hands, and go to the raft, and make 
them regulate their course, sometimes three times of a 
night. When the wind blew towards the shore, Frede- 
rick and myself availed ourselves of every opportunity 
to impress every vessel, under pretence that we had I'eed 



140 

of them — that the raft was in clanger; but our object 
was to nnake them give money to get clear. I mention 
this to show the craving, avaricious desire of men ; we 
were employed to hinder the very abominatron we were 
putting in practice. I felt mean while taking my part 
of the money, and have felt low in mind ever since, as 
often as it comes to my recollection. By the above 
practices, we received a considerable sum. 

After three weeks' passage, we arrived at Batavia. 
Frederick delivered his charge ; I visited several of my 
own country ships ; some of the captains wanted me to 
go home with them, and ofKsred me good wages ; but 
T had good wages, good fare, and a gentleman's living, 
which 1 had no notion of swapping away for the sake of 
performing the drudgery of a sailor; and I had no idea 
of ever crossing the equator, west of the Cape of Good 
Hope, again. 

We made sail a^ain for Teagal, had head winds and 
a long passage. When we arrived there, we got orders 
to cruise along the coast till we came to Poccallongon, 
and fulfil the orders of that Resident, if he had any for 
us. We came to anchor at a place called Pamallang, 
and Frederick overdid himself by walking hastily three 
miles in the country, to the habitation of the king whose 
ship he had previously impressed. This king, had a feast 
every Saturday evening, for the entertainment of Euro- 
pean gentlemen. Frederick returned on board, and 
we set sail and proceeded to Foccalongon. Frederick 
went on shore, and got orders to go and cruise off Point 
Pamallang, but he was very unwell, and concluded to 
delay getting under way ; the next morning he sent me 
on shore to do some business, which I did, and returned 



141 

X)n board. He was stiil in a bad state of licahh ; I ad- 
vised him to have a physician, which he refused, saying 
they did generally nnore iiurt th?.n good. The nex;^ 
morning, before day, he called me, and told me to get 
the vessel under way, and steer for Point Pamallang. 
I perceived he was very sick, and requested him to de- 
lay yet another day, and let me go on shore fur a doc- 
tor, but he said he should be better by the effects of the 
sea breeze. I obeyed his orders, and next day came 
to anchor about two miles distant from the mouth of 
Pamallang river. Up this river was a real haunt for 
pirates. The first settlement was sixteen miles from its 
mouth ; and the pirates w^ould lay in it, and have a man 
on the lookout, that when a merchant vessel came along 
that they imagined they could conquer, they would pop 
out and take her. Frederick told me, that if I iiad a 
mind, I might take eight or ten hands and some arms 
in the boat, and go on shore and get some wood for 
fuel ; and I started. As f drew near the shore, there 
was a prow in the offing, making for the river ; but as 
soon as they saw the Dutch flag that [ had flying on a 
staff in the stern of the boat, they altered their course 
and sheered off, and J was not sorry to see it. She was 
undoubtedly a piratical vessel, and they might easily 
have captured me in the boat with only a few muskets, 
and then taken the schooner. I entered the river, got 
my fuel, and returned on board. Frederick wa/5 so ex- 
hausted that he could hardly breathe ; two men were 
holding him up and fanning him ; death was stamped on 
his countenance. In the cool of the evening, he was 
something better. 

I had heard Jhim express a desire to goto Pamallang, 



142 

where there resided a gentleman with whom he wished 
to settle some business. I ordered the mandoor, that 
is, the boatswain, to get the anchor up and make sail. 
<^< What are you going to do ?" said Frederick. 1 told 
him I was going to Pamallang. " Wait till morning," 
said he. I told him I feared he had decayed too long 
already. " Do as you choose,^' said he. I steered for 
Pamallang. There came on a fog, and I could not see 
tlie land. But when I thought I was far enough, we 
came to anchor. After the sails were furled, we hoisted 
the boarding nettings, that those who remained on board 
might the easier defend themselves in case of an attack 
by pirales ; for this was a sea-board ; there was no 
harbour there, and the schooner lay three miles from 
the shore, 1 took only five hands with me in the boat, 
and in the fog started for the shore. My object was to 
get a place on shore for the captain, with the gentleman 
beforo-mentioned, that something more might be done 
for him than I could do on board. I was successful in 
finding the shore, landed, and left two men by the boat. 
There was a Malay village which I had to pass through. 
Some of the inhabitants heard us as we landed ; and ti- 
dings flew, as on the wings of lightning, that pirates 
were landing. FTad I been a pirate, the village might 
have been mine ; for I passed through it, and there 
were none to stop me. AH the human beings had Red, 
but the dogs stood their ground, and troubled me so, 
that I came near shooting several of them. I had then 
about two miles and a half to waik. When I got with- 
in about a quarter of a mile of the king's habitation, I 
informed the officer of the picket guard, that I wanted 
to speak with the king. I was passed from one guard 



143 

to another, till 1 came to a spacioi^.s enclosure ; a space 
of hard-trodden smooth clay ground before the king's 
house, (or I suppose I must term it a palace, to be fami. 
har with kings.) There were a large number of musi- 
cians, chiming something like a tune. It was a delight-. 
ful sound, at any rate. About three hundred Malays 
were all on their knees around an open pavilion, whero 
the king and his guests, about ten or fourteen, were just 
taking their seats for supper. I was conducted to the 
king at the head of the table. But as he spoke but lit- 
tle Dutch or English, he directed me to -Mr. Cook, the 
Resident of Teagal, who was seated near the other end 
of the table. 1 went to Mr. Cook, and informed him 
of the sad situation of my captain, and that he had ex- 
pressed a desire to come to Pamallang. The gentle- 
man whom Frederick was acquainted with spoke, and 
said, this is a poor place to bring him to ; there is no 
physician here. You had better go to some place where 
you can procure medical aid. Mr. Cook told me ta 
proceed to Poccallongon, informing me there was a 
good doctor there. I told him there was one at Tea- 
gal, and the distance was much shorter. Mr. Cook said 
there was something like a doctor there, but he was a 
poor intemperate creature, and as I had a land breeze 
directly, I could soon run to Poccallongon, One of the 
party invited me to sit down and take supper with them. 
I told them it would be improper for me to delay, as 
the schooner was too much exposed, in case a pirate 
came along. One of the company asked me to take 
a glass of wine with them. I told them I had no objec- 
tions. One of them began to pour out a glass ; another 
said, " Stop, stop ! he only takes one glass ; we are 



144 

drinking all the evening : what is a small glass for a 
man that is on express exercise ?" So a tumbler was 
brought and filled, which was as soon emptied ; and I 
started, got on board, found all safe, got the boarding 
nettings down, and the anchor up, and made saiL Fre- 
derick seemed to be better, and urged me to go to rest, 
and let the vessel lie till morning. We had got a good 
breeze from the land, and in the morning we were off 
Pamallang river. When the sea-breeze came in, we 
shaped our course for Poecallongon, Frederick came 
up on deck, and sat under the awning, and discoursed 
with me a couple of hours. I then began to cherish 
hopes of his recovery. When we came in sight of the 
flagstaff, on the battery, he went below to his cabin, and 
we came to anchor. I immediately went on shore to 
get a physician. Our vessel lay about two miles from 
the shore ; and I had the same distance to stem the 
current of a river. Not being acquainted, it took me 
some time to find the doctor's residence. He had lain 
down, and with much earnest solicitation I prev^ailed on 
a servant to deliver my message. The answer was re* 
turned, that I must bring the captain on shore. 

I made no delay, hut returned on board as soon as 
possible, and found Frederick gasping for breath, almost 
insensible. But he could speak, with some difficulty, 
I began to make ready to take him on shore. He in- 
sisted that I should go to rest, and wait till morning, 
remarking that I had been up three or four nights in 
succession. But 1 was aware of his danger, and got 
his bed into the boat, under the awning ; I then had him 
enclosed with flags, which answered the purpose of cur- 
tains, and started for the shore. When I came to the 



M5 

mouth of the river, the water was so low that I couid 
not get the boat over the bar, but I soon found a plan : 
as there lay several small vessels waiting for the wa- 
ter to rise, I was under the necessity of impressing 
•their hands; they carried my boat over the bar, and I 
got the captain to the doctor's house. After the doctor 
had examined him, he told me, in private, that Frede- 
rick's disorder was the putrified fever, and said he could 
not tell how it would terminate till the next morning. 
The next difficulty was to find a house where the cap- 
tain could stay. This was no easy task; for although 
many would be termed charitable, few had benevo- 
lence enough to admit a sick stranger into their house. 
I had to go in quest of a place, an entire stranger, and 
knowing little of the ways of the country. It was in 
the evening, and dark; I strayed along, looking at 
every house, not knowing which to enter. As 1 was 
.passing a large elegant fabric, I thought '*the higher 
the water, the better the swimming;" and I mustered 
-courage enough to go in. It was the dwelling of Mr. 
Thomas, the agent of the orphan institution. I made 
known my request. A lady who happened to be there 
on a visit, told me she had a small bamboo house ; if 1 
would pay for the. use of it, I might have it. I agreed 
to give her price, and she sent a lad to conduct me to 
where it stood. When I returned to th-e doctor's, he 
had a room already partitioned off.; these partitions, i^o 
easily put up, are bamboo splints, w^ove together, and 
kept in readiness to be put up in a few minutes. The 
doctor said he had compassion on seafaring men, and 
Jiad concluded to keep Frederick in his own house. I 
-directed the lad to tell his mistress we were provided 

.10 



wiih a place, left two servants of the captain's to take 
care of him, and returned to the schooner for the night, 
as it would have been improper to leave her in an open 
roadstead, with none but indolent Malays on board. 

The next morning, I took about 400 dollars, that 
were secreted under the cabin floor, unknown to the 
Malays, for fear that they might rise on us and take the 
schooner, as they often are inclined to do, and went on 
shore. I found Frederick something belter than when 
I left him the night previous. I had the money counted 
ill his presence, and had the doctor and a student for 
witnesses. I then went to the Resident for informa- 
tion how to proceed, and to know if he had any de- 
mands on the schooner. He told me he had nothing 
of importance to be performed by the schooner; that I 
could wait till the scale turned one w^a)^ or the other 
with the captain. My anxiety to perform the vessel's 
duty was on behalf of De Groet, that her hire should 
not be stopped. I returned on board at night, and came 
on shore the next morning. 

As I was passing through a pleasant grove, on my 
way to the doctor's, I met Mr. Francis, a merchant, 
the gentleman that objected to my taking the small 
glass of wine at the feast, who inform.ed me that Fre- 
derick had expired during the night. This tidings 
caused a solemnity to come over me, such as I had 
ni3ver felt before. He had showed me the kindness of 
a brother. He was a man of good understanding, and 
made good use of it. His influence was not small, and 
I had the promise of its benefit. In short, my best and 
only friend was gone ; akhough 1 was very much har- 
dened, I could not forbear shedding a few tears. He 



147 

was buried under the honours (iHt can be termed ho- 
nours) of war; the commander of the garrison sent a 
company of soldiers to discharge their muskets over 
his grave — a sad compliment ; as if they should sav, 
" Your body may rest here, but your spirit and soul 
shall forever partake of the glorious trophies of mur- 
der, bloodshed, and slaughter.'^ 

After the burial ceremony was over, I went to the 
Resident for orders how to proceed. He told me there 
was nothing of importance for the schooner to do ; that 
I had better send tidings by letter to De Groet, and 
wait for his answer. This I did, and received a letter 
from De Groet, containing directions how he wished 
me to proceed. At the close of his letters, he never 
omiited the following sentence: " And dan't forget to 
use the Malays well." His wish that I should use the 
Malays well, was not through good will to the poor 
ignorant natives, or from any pacific, charitable, or be- 
nevolent disposition which he cherished ; but because 
he feared the Malays would rise on me, and he should 
lose his vessel. A little previous to our departure from 
Grissea, I saw fifteen Malays executed for taking a 
schooner that they belonged to, and massacring the 
white officers. But his caution to me w-as not needed, 
for I had no disposition to treat them ill. I now had 
to purchase the provisions for the crew of the schooner, 
and had orders from De Groet to draw what money 1 
had n,^ed of from the Resident. 

I was now becoming noted among the higher classes 
of society. I am glad I had not the faculty of getting 
rich. As I was rather too easy with the Malays, they 
began to take some liberties, of which I thought best 



148 

to depiive them. Half of the crew got into a habit of 
getting on shore, and absenting themselves, by turns, 
staying on shore with their wives ; by which means 
my force on board was weakened, and sometimes the 
pirates were bold enough to come among the vessels 
lying in the roadstead. To put a stop to their prac- 
tice of staying on shore, I gave them liberty to bring 
their wives and girls on board at night, and set them 
on shore in the morning. The Malay females are ge- 
nerally as good in battle as the men ; and I thought 
they would be better on board with the men, than the 
men on shore at a distance of four miles, in case of an 
attack. 

I was returning on board from the shore one even- 
ing, just after dark, and had lain down on the cushions 
under the awning in the stern of the boat, and being 
somewhat fatigued, had fallen partly into a doze. In 
this situation, between asleep and awake, I heard the 
voice of a female hailing the boat. Thinking that she 
belonged to some of the men, I told them to take her 
on board. While they pulled the boat towards the 
shore, and were in the act of taking her in, I fell asleep 
again, but was awakened by a person ^squeezing my 
wrist ; I looked up, and was not a little surprised to see 
a beautiful girl seated near me, and having hold of my 
hand. I asked her what she did by me^ and told her 
to go to the man she belonged to. The mandoor was 
sitting close at my head, steering the boat, and told me 
that she had no man, but only wanted to speak to me. 
I took another look at her by the lightof the stars, and 
formed an opinion, which was correct, that she was a 
^ir inoo«eRt-girl. aud I made up my mind to be her 



149 

protector. When we got on board, there was a heavy 
swell running, the women were nearly all sea-cick, 
and there was a sound about the vessel something like 
that commonly heard in an hospital; but Samoorah, 
the girl I have been alluding to, was not affected. In 
the morning, I told her she must go on shore with the 
rest of the girls, but she began to weep. By this time 
I began to get hold of the Malay speech, and I asked 
her why she did not wish to go on shore ? She said 
she did not wish to have her friends know that she was 
on board of a vessel, (for those girls that come on board 
?tre generally mean characters.) 

1 left her on board, thinking to find out where she 
eame from. I made the circumstance known to ths 
Resident, who told me he would let me. know in a daj 
or two whether I could keep her or not She was a 
Malayess, and many of them are slaves; if this had 
been the case with Samoorah, and I had kept her, it 
might have cost me two or three hundred rupees; but 
the Resident had means of getting information on the 
subject very readily. The Malays are not bought and 
sold, as slaves in other countries, from Africa; but be- 
come Staves voluntarily, by getting in debt. If you 
hire a Malay, and hie takes up more than his wages 
amount to, he becomes your slave till he pays you; 
and as they are a ^ery indolent people, always want- 
ing, and not taking much thought for the future, they 
are apt to take all they can get, and so involve their 
whole posterity as slaves. De Groet, and many others, 
had so many slaves that they did not know the wholo 
of them ; many of them consisted of fluhers, m.others^ 
children, and grandchildren. 



150 

When I returned on board at evening, I found all 
well. Samoorah had a pleasant smile on her counte- 
nance, which I afterwards found was natural. The 
next morning, I asked her to go on shore; but she did 
not seem willing. I told her I would ^x the boat so 
that she w^ould not be seen, and that I would land be- 
low the town. We started. Mr. Francis had a beau- 
tiful garden and grove, that extended from the back of 
his house to the river, below the town, where he had 
a piazza and bathing-house. There we landed, and 
walked throuoj-h the grove to the house. Mrs. Francis 
was a young woman, the very picture of Samoorah; 
they might have been taken for twins. She stood on 
the back piazza ; and as soon as she saw Samoorah, 
she put on a smile of approbation, w^hich w^as answer- 
ed by Samoorah; they shook hands. I was not a little 
gratified to find them acquainted, and asked Mrs. Fran- 
cis if Samoorah was a slave. This idea she spurned 
with disdain, and my gratification was increased on 
learning that they were sisters. I left her there, and 
w^ent about m.y business for the day. When I entered 
the Resident's office, the first words he uttered, after 
the salutation of the day, Vv^ere, " You can keep that 
girl if you wish." I was happy to be in possession of 
such a treasure, for I found her as true as the sun, 

The pirates were making such havoc among the 
fishermen and small merchantmen, that the Resident 
asked me, one day, if I could not go out, and catch or 
frighten them away. I told him I wanted a few white 
soldiers, to keep the Malay sailors to their quarters in 
case of an attack; "for you know," said f, "many of 
\he Malays are treacherous^ and for the sake of th© 



151 

privilege of a retreat, they might get frightened and 
^kill me, then return with ihe schooner, and report that 
the enemy had killed me ; and you know it is no more 
"than requisite that I should have some white men with 
me." The Resident confessed that my request was 
reasonable, and sent me to the commander of the gar- 
rison with a letter, desiring him to let me have some 
men. The commandant gave me an order to the offi- 
cer who had command on the garrison, who selected 
-six privates and a sergeant from among forty that vo- 
lunteered to go with me. I got them on board, got 
under way, and steered for Pamallang riv^er. I cruised 
along the coast, boarding and overhauling many ves- 
sels, but no pirates among them. 

I came to anchor one morning, just at daybreak, 
about three miles distant from the mouth of Pamallang 
river. As the men were up furling the topsails, the 
sergeant, having the spyglass, perceived three small 
vessels close to the shore. They had been ranging 
the coast in search of prey, and were making for theif 
haunt in the river. I told the men to stop furling the 
sails, and let them hang; I intended to get underway, 
and beat in towards them; the wind was blowing from 
the land. The sergeant requested me to let him have 
ten of my men and the boat^ and he would take his 
men : " and," said he, " when they see white men, 
they'll be frightened, and soon surrender." I studied 
on this plan a few minutes; and considered that if I 
let the boat go, and part of my men, and they should 
he overpowered and captured, the pirates might easily 
come and take the schooner; and If I did not let the 
sergeant have his desire, and the pirates should get 



away, I.should be accused of cowardice or mismanage 
ment. I coaciuded that the boat should go, but that I 
would go in her. We armed ourselves, and started. I 
took a blunderbuss and box of musket balls for my own 
use ; ten men,, each armed with a cutlass only; five 
white soldiers with their muskets, and the sergeant 
with his. As we approached them, thep headed from 
us, and slowly pulled away. As soon as we got near 
enough, we commen-ceda fire on them ; they, perceiv- 
ing we had nothing but small arms, turned head to 
wards us, and commenced a hot fire; by this time we 
were close to the beach, and almost within hail of them. 
1 perceived that each vessel had as many as fifty meii. 
on board, and I thought best to retreat as quick as pos- 
sible, and get on board of the schooner, where I could 
better suit them with cannon ball and grape, I had;' 
given orders to the mandoor, before I left the schooner, 
to get the anchor up, make sail, and beat in to my as- 
sistance ; this he was diligently performing. The pi~ 
rates might easily have taken me in the boat, if they 
had had courage to pursue me ; but they were glad to 
see me retreat, thinking I meant to give it up as a bad 
job. The sergeant, so brave and anxious to start ir^ 
the first place, never discharged his musket, or ro.sA 
from. his seat in the stern sheets of the boat, during the 
whole fracas. 

When we got on board, I made short tacks, keeping- 
tkem land-locked iin a small bay, like a flock of geese 
in the corner of a fence ; and each tack, as we passed 
them, they were well supplied with grape-shot and 
liall from three small cannon, (the largest of them a 
^ix-pounder,) which constituted a broadside ; in return, 



I53 

they kept up a constant fire from several small cannon. 
This lasted about two hours, when I made a long 
stretch to the wx^stward, thinking, when I tacked ship, 
to fetch in among them and complete the job ; but ihf* 
vfind died away. They left one vessel, dividingthem- 
selves into the other two, got their oars out, and puikd 
ofi'to sea, while the schooner lay like a log en the wa- 
ter, and I had to stand still and see them go. They 
had set fire to the vessel they left, and 1 sent eight or 
ten hands in the boat to put it out, and take her into 
custody. Meanwhile the sea breeze sprang up, and 1 
went in chase of the other two ; but they had got too 
much the start, and outsailed the schooner; but I kept 
after them till they were out of sight. L boarded a 
Chinese vessel, that was coming from the direction in 
\vhich they were steering. The captain told me that 
he passed close by them, and they were very much da- 
maged; that they were frapping their vessels together 
with ropes and rattans. 1 tacked ship, and stood for 
the shore, and picked up my boat and^piize — only one 
man wounded among us, who had his hand shot of!" 
I continued to cruise along the coast, after this skir- 
mish, for a couple of weeks, but found no more pirates 
on that coast that season: Samoorah stood exposed in 
the cabin stairway, or, as the sea term is, companion^ 
diiring the fracas, undaunted, and seemingly destitute 
of fear ; for when I smiled, she would do the same. 

The Malays are so indifferent and indolent, that I 
could not trust them to look out through the night : so 
I slept in the daytime, that I might be the better pre- 
pared to perform that duty myself As I went forward 
to take a look ahead, one morning about two o'clock. 



there were three small vessels steering straight for us. 
They had the very rig and appearance of pirates. I 
ordered the quartermaster (or, as the Malays term them, 
gummiOoda, helmsman, at any rate,| to put the helm 
up. I intended to run stem on to the largest vessel, 
thinking to sink her and get her out of the way, so 
that I might the more easily subdue the other two ; but 
the fellow put the helm up and let it loose again, incon- 
sequence of which, the schooner «hot past them. 1 
hailed them several times before we got abreast of them, 
but received no answer. I told a Frenchman, one of 
the soldiers, that had charge of the six-pounder, to 
awake them ; he understood the hint, took aim, and cut 
the foremast out of one of them. They vi- ere soon wide 
awake, and began to sing out, "Orang Java ! Orang 
Java!" that is, they vv'ished us to understand that they 
were people of Java. I told them, if they were people 
of Java, they must come to anchor immediately. This 
they readily complied with, and I wore ship and came 
to anchor near them. The mandoor came to me, de- 
siring me not to go too near them; so sure vi^ere the 
Malays themselves that they were pirates. I hailed 
them, and told their commanders to come on board with 
their papers, or passports. They came, and I found 
them to be merchant vessels, belonging to Sherburn, a 
small seaport between Teagal and Batavia. I took 
this opportunity to send the man that had his hand shot 
off, and the prize, into Poecaiongon, with a letter to the 
Resident. 

After cruising a week longer, and hearing or see- 
ing no more pirates, T returned, and came to anchor at 
Poccalongon. The Resident became very fiiendly to 



rne, and told me he v/ishcd me to come and spend the 
evenings with him when I could make it convenient. 
As I was an American, and he had heard of the glo- 
rious exploits of the Yankies, during the late war w^ith 
Great Britain, he loved to hear me discourse about 
them. I was there introduced into first rate company, 
and invited to parties. The commander of the garri- 
son made a feast, to celebrate the birthday of his first 
born, then one year old. Myself and Samoorah had 
to help to make up the company. There was a table 
spread for the respectable Chinese that were invited, 
one for the Europeans, one for the Arabs, one for the 
Persians, and one for the Malays. 

The females are held in such minority there, that 
one table serves for all, or ever^^ nation. The Malays 
are not fond of spirituous Jiquors, especially the fe- 
males. When the evening was about half spent, 1 found 
Samoorah at the back of my chair, begging me to re- 
tire from the company. She had been sipping a little 
sangaree with the ladies, to be in the fashion. I told 
her it would not appear decent to leave the company 
till it broke up. She returned to her company ; but it 
'ivas not long before she was at the back of my chair 
again, and begged me to retire with her. The best of 
the sport had just commenced, and I did not like to 
leave it, I perceived she felt the bad effects of the 
sangaree, and w^as very much ashamed about it. I 
thought I \vould put her out of the way for a while; 
so I poured out a glass of good Holland gin, and, pre- 
senting it to her, told her she must drink it, and that 
she would feel better. She took it in her hand, looked 
at it, then at me, and hesitated. " Don't fear," said I, 



15& 

'* drink it." She down with it, through grief, I ex- 
pect. She went away, but soon returned, and could 
scarcely stand. I called to a servant, and told him to 
conduct me to a bed-room; I took her up in my arms,, 
followed the servant, and laid her on the bed, thinking 
to return to the company myself; but I \vas mistaken^ 
for she held me fast. I lay dawn by her, thinking she 
would soon get a55leep, and then I could leave her. 
After half an hour, being sure she was fast asfecp, I 
tried it, but was again mistaken ; she had a sure grip 
on me, and I had to stay with her till morning, and 
lose all the delights of the party. Never after this, 
while I was with her, would she taste a drop of liquor,, 
or go with me where it was used, if she knew it. Be^ 
fore I left Griss^3a, in the schooner with Frederick, I 
took a solemn oath not to drink any more liquor; and 
while I kept my vow, I prospered. But, no sooner 
did I take hold of drinking again, than I began to go 
down in credit, character, and circumstances. But, as 
yet, I had not gone so far, but that I could keep sober 
through the day. The passage to fame and glory was 
noAV clear for me. The Resident bad promised to be- 
friend me all that lay in his power, telling me that he 
eame to Java, from Holland, a poor cabin boy; and 
added that his cash, and other property th€n amounted 
to 600,000 rupees. He also informed me that I could 
do as well, if I looked out sharp. I sent a letter to De 
Groetj desiring him to send a man to navigate his 
schooner home, her time having nearly expired. But 
he returned me a favourable answer, making me good 
promises, and desiring me to stay by the schooner, and 
return with her to Grissea. I concluded to comply 



157 

■with De Groets request. But before we set sail, I 
told Samoorah that 1 had a desire to see the family 
with whom she had been brought up, where she cam*.* 
from when she came to me. She had previously in- 
formed me that her parents both died when she was 
but five years of age. At first she did not seem will- 
ing, being, as might be supposed, a little ashamed for 
absconding so abruptly. But 1 urged her to comply, 
telling her that none would dare to insult her while 
she was under my protection. She conducted me to 
the place, and we were heartily w^elcomed by a Chi- 
nese lady, who kept a large store. In a short time the 
house w^as full, and surrounded by her former youth- 
ful companions. This iscene, to me, was highly inte- 
resting. I could not but sympathize with th^ir feelings 
The lost sheep was found, and this was her favourite; 
home. The lady received her with motherly kind- 
ness, and the tears of affection and joy stood in her 
eyes. She treated me with great respect: the table 
was spread with all the dainties which heart could 
wish. But when we w^ere about to take our leave, tho 
gcene was so aftecting, that though I had a sincere re- 
gard and love for Samoorah, I freely gave her her 
choice to stay, or go with me. I told her if she went 
with me, I should use her as well as I had done while 
she had been with me; but, if it was her desire, she 
was welcome to stay. She hesitated ; it was hard for 
her to leave the place of her youthful enjoyments : but 
she said she would go with me ; and I was by no 
means dissatisfied. When we departed, the Chinese 
lady loaded three servants with fruit and sweetmeats. 
MVkd sent them to the boat with ug. When the schoon- 



i-58 

e/s time had expired that she was to cruise in the 
government service, I took a freight of tobacco, of a 
Chinese merchant, and proceeded to Batavia. When 
I arrived, 1 found De Groet there, who was not a little 
pleased to find that I had earned him 200 rupees, 
which he little expected, viz. the amount of the freight. 
There lay a large ship at Batavia, ready for sea, and 
bound for Holland. She was 1800 tons, and had un- 
common good accommodations for passengers. Many 
ladies and gentlemen had waited a year to take pas- 
sage in her. Her captain was very anxious to have 
me go with him, and offered me double the wages that 
his other hands received. But I considered myself 
better off^ and refused his offer. This seems to have 
been an intc rposition of Providence in my behalf; for 
the ship sailed with nearly 400 souls on board. And 
when she had got about 400 miles from land, a squall 
struck her, which threw her on beam ends; her guns 
got loose, and some of her cargo shifted and fell to the 
lee side. She went to the bottom so suddenly, that 
only the captain, and five of his men, escaped from 
going down with the ship. They sprang into a boat 
that hung at the quarter of the ship, cut the lashings 
and tackle falls, and so got clear. Two of them starved 
to death hefore they reached the shore. Here, again, 
the truth was manifested, that it is better to be born 
lucky than rich. 

\Ve made sail, and after a fortnight's passage, ar- 
rived at Grissea. This was like coming home from a 
long voyage; for Grissea is a very pleasant place, and' 
there I had the most delightful enjoyments of my life 
My friend Smith w^as there yet. and all had been anti- 



-i o'J 



cipating my return with pleasure. De Groet had not 
yet retiuneci from Batavia. Tiie schooner was haul- 
ed up high and dry. My wages were going on, and 
1 had nothing to do but recreate where 1 pleased. We 
were visited by many of the respectable part of society, 
who w^ere entertained with sumptuous feasts. They 
all seemed to be very friendly ; but few of them friend- 
ly enough to return the compliment. I frequently be- 
held the American and English sailors staggering 
about the town, in search of a grog shop, with their 
tarry clothes patched with different colours, blue 
trowsers, with white canvass, and red shirts w^ith blue 
patches; and I would often think how many days and 
months I had followed the same disgraceful habits. — 
The question in my mind w^as, — Shall I ever be in the 
same situation again? But I could only answer that 
I knew^ not. The conclusion of this little book, how- 
ever, wnll show how much lower I fell than I ever 
had been before. De Groet returned home; andw^hen 
rhad settled with him, J quit his service, as I thought 
he did not offer me ^vages enough : and that was -the 
time I missed it; for his offer was reasonable. I had 
become so fleshy, that my clothes w^ere getting too 
small for me; and being filled w^th pride, I imagined 
that every body else thought as much of me as 1 did 
of myself. I left De Groet, and w^ent to Surabaah, to 
the Spaniard's house who helped me to get away from 
the frigate. I took a -room, and lived in style for a 
w^hile. There w^as an Englishman w^ho had a trading 
ship that lay in the harbour, of which he w^as captain 
when she went to sea. But while in port he kept a 
store on shore. He wanted me to take charge of the 



16G 

iship while she underwent reparation, and then sail 
with him as mate. This 1 undertook ; but we did not 
agree. He found fault because the work did not go 
on fast enough. 1 told him to ^end me hands enough 
then. He said my face was too red for him. This al- 
luded to too bad a course, and pointed too straight to 
the truth for me. I got angry, and left him. 

This, again, proved to be a fortunate circumstance 
for me: for the succeeding voyage of this ship proved 
fatal to the captain and his crew. The name o( th^ 
captain v/as Steverson. The true account is as fol» 
lows : 

Steverson had brought his wife with hitn from Eng- 
land, who had recently expressed a desire to return 
home. His wife had also an English girl with her as 
a servant. With this servant girl Steverson had a 
pretended falling out, and turned her away. He then 
procured a passage to England for his wife.; and, as 
-quick as she was gone, he took his servant girl home 
to supply the place of his wife. He got his ship ready, 
took his concubine on board, and sailed for the island 
of Mentor, near the straits of Malacca, where he com- 
menced smuggling from the Dutch government; but 
was boarded by a number of piratical prows from the 
coast of Malacca, who massacred him aiid his concu- 
bine, and took the ship. That ended his career. I still 
iived on shore as a gentleman^ till my cash was ex- 
pended. Till then I thought I had friends. But now 
I found them scarce. At last^I had to humble myself, 
and take the low station- of quartermaster on board of 
& brig, among a number of Frenchmen. I had now 
to work again. This was in no way agreeable, in that 



161 

hot climate. Smith still continued my only friend, and 
as Samoorah was far advanced in pregnane}^ I left her 
with him and his wife, (a modest, likely girl, with 
whom Samoorah w^as very intimate,) at Grissea, while 
I performed a voyage to Samarang and Batavia. — 
While on this voyage, the cholera broke out on the 
island of Java, and raged with destructive sw^ai^ Some 
of our crew shared its fatal sting. When I returned, 
the first salutation I met, as I was entering the door of 
Smith's house, from an old servant, with his eyes full 
of tears, \vas, that Smith was dead, and that he had 
been under the ground but about two hours. This 
was a shock to me. I felt as if wholly forsaken, when 
I found that my last and best friend was dead. Deep 
solemnity pervaded my bosom. But I had one conso- 
lation ; which was, that Samoorah was still alive, 
though she had had a child, and it was dead. This I 
have ever since considered a blessing ; as I think that 
"the Great God saw that, as I was getting farther and 
farther into the habit of intemperance, He could bet- 
ter take care of the child than I was likely to do. I 
staid at Smith's house that night; and the next day 
took Samoorah vv^ith me, and started in a passage ca- 
noe for Surabaah. • While on the passage, as we were 
discoursing, Samoorah expressed a wonder that Smith 
could be so little concerned, during his short sickness, 
about his real situation in the sight of God. I said, 
" Why should he be concerned ? he was a Christian ;'' 
and I was so silly as to feel and cherish a boasting sen- 
sation while uttering these w^ords, as if the name of 
Christian was enough to save white people. But she 
knew he was wicked, and began to repeat seme of his 

11 



162 

receot wicked acts, as much as to say, " These he had 
need to repent of;'' and this implied that there was a 
Redeemer. She never, I am sure, had heard of or 
seen a New Testament, or heard a gospel sermon ; this, 
then, plainly shows me, that a deep, but latent, dim plan 
of the gospel is implanted in the most illiterate souf, 
and all they want is, the enlightening influence of the 
revealed word, to direct them how" to get and experi- 
ence the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit. I 
was ignorant of these things at that time, for I went on 
swilling down strong drink, and cursing like all the 
heedless multitude; and none was more grieved than 
Samoorah ; many hours, to my sorrow, have I kept 
her in patient waiting at the door of a tavern or house, 
where, with the rough group, I have been drinking 
and carousing, heedless of her frequent and kind en- 
treaties for me to retire or go home. This treatment 
to her has lashed my guilty conscience many a time 
since then. 

The cholera raged distressingly through that coun« 
iry for about three months. In the three principal 
towns, Batavia., Samarang, and Surabaah, there were 
from. 80 to 100 picked up in a day, dead in the streets, 
ff I took a walk a shoit distance through the town, I 
was sure to see from a dozen to twenty funeral proces- 
sions before I returned. This truly w^as a season of 
mourning. I have attended them from the time they 
were taken till they were laid in their graves, and was 
so insensible that 1 thought little of it, as though it had 
nothing to do with me. When the cholera had aba- 
ted, there arrived a ship belonging and bound to the 
Isle of France. Some of the crew left her, and the 



163 

■taplain (whose name was Black) wanted a second mate. 
My necessity vvas such, that though I was warned of 
the cruel, tyrannical, ugly disposition of captain Black, 
I concludtd to try him. I agreed to go wnth him for 
$40 per month ; got tw^o months' in advance; gave 
half of it to Samoorah, and procured for her a good 
rhome, with a rich old lady, who took her as a compa- 
nion. She staid on board till the anchor was away, 
that is, out of the ground ; she then got into the canoe, 
and we sailed away. That was the last I ever saw of 
Samoorah. It was a solemn day for me. I don't think 
I ever felt so sorrowful before or since, though I have 
been in much deeper afHicticns, 

We sailed to Samarang, and thence to Batavia. By 
this time I had learned that my captain was black by 
nature, as well as by name, though he was a Scotch- 
man, and had a fair white vskin. 1 w:as taken with the 
Java fever, that is, the ague and fever ; and th-e captain 
used language too ridiculous to write, swearing that 
nothing ailed me ; ana to irritate me, when the fever 
came on, he would set a man to splitting wood over my 
head, though there was room enough about the deck. 
He went on shore at Batavia to ship some more hands, 
and told the little deceitful mate we had, to go on board 
of another ship and borrow^ a long-boat to fetch offsome 
fresh water ; and if he could not get one, tc get our own 
out. The mate went on board of another ship, a^d got 
so intoxicated instead of getting a long-boat, that he did 
not get back till just before the captain came on board 
at night. During this time I worked my best, as for 
dife, with very few hands, to get cur boat out, which 
vleaked so that she filled as quick as she struck the 



164 

water; and notwithstanding the captain couid not but 
perceive that the mate was drunk, he thought best, for 
some reason, to place the blame on me. My folly was, 
that instead of getting the long-boat out, I might have 
hailed a boat and gone on shore, bag and baggage, and 
so got clear of the brutish tyrant. 

The same day that we sailed from Batavia, by the 
captain's orders, I served out to the sailors a month's 
provisions, which consisted of a small quantity of salt 
iish, and gee, that is, stinking buffalo butter mixed with 
fat. When they got their provisions, the indolent Ma- 
lays (of whom our crew were chiefly composed) hove 
their fish in the stern of the long-boat, which stood on 
deck, and let it lie there till it got wet with rain, and 
rotted. I had told them frequently to put it below, for 
the captain would not allow them any more until the 
month was out ; this proved true. Fortunately for 
them, the ship was laden with rice, of whichthey could 
use as they wanted ; they had nothing but rice and salt 
to subsist on for three weeks, and my living was not 
much better, although I had agreed with the captain 
to have my victuals out of the cabin, such as he him- 
self had.. There were constantly several of the crew 
unwell, and the captain would order me to send them 
on the quarter-deck once or twice each day. Some of 
them were so sick as to be unable to w^alk, but the cap- 
tain, rather than exhibit the least disposition of benevo- 
lence in going to them, onl};- the length of the ship, 
would compel them to crawl to him ; and I have seen 
him beat a man with a large rattan, as big as my thumb, 
which he kept for the purpose, and in three hours the 
man was a corpse. He would stand over the poor 



165 

creatures, and use the most horrid, ridiculous impreca- 
tions and oaths, enough to make the very devils asha- 
med. "Run out your tongue, you Mahomcdan b — ," 
he would say. The poor confused creature would stick 
his tongue out, but not far enough to suit the monster ; 
rap over his head comes the rattan, accompanied by a 
most horrid imprecation ; such were his daily obla- 
tions. I had at that time bnt little knowledge of reli- 
gion, but I have stood and looked at this Black mon- 
ster, and wondered how God could let him live. I 
was sometimes tempted to join with the crew, secure 
the captain, mate, and a scoundrel of a passenger we 
had, and run the ship to some place where w^e could 
get clear of her, and leave her; but I had to grin and 
bear it. 

We arrived at, the Isle of France, after a passage of 
six weeks ; and I w^as all joy, in hopes soon to be de- 
livered from worse than bondage. The quarantine 
boat came alongside ; and as our captain had forgotten 
to bring a bill of heahh with him from Batavia, which 
is always necessary, and the cholera had been raging 
in Java, the doctors refused to let us come into the har- 
bour, but ordered us to get our anchor up and stay at 
sea, or go to some desolate island for the term of forty 
days. These tidings struck a terror on me, like the 
jsecond death ; but there was no remedy. We got under 
way again, and beat up to a small island called the Plat- 
form. Under the lee of this island we came to anchor, 
and had much trouble to keep the rocks from chafing 
our cables off. I contrived a plan to prevent this, by 
buoying the cables up from the bottom with em.pty wa- 
ter casks ; and sore abuse was all the recompense I 



166 

got for it. After enduring another fortniglit in torment" 
with the Black beast, there arrived a brig from Bata- 
via, whose captain had net forgot his bill of health, 
and was admitted into the harbour. This was fortunate 
for us ; for as this brig sailed from Batavia after our 
ship, they could not prevent us from going in. The 
guard ship, a British frigate, was also in quarantine, 
in consequence of her boat having boarded us previous 
to the doctor's boat, when we first arrived. As I ha4 
been long enough in the ship to earn the two months' 
wages I had received in Java; I determined to leave it 
immediately. Black insisted I should not, and refused 
to let me go on shore, or to allow a boat to come along- 
side of the ship, that I could get ashore in ; so I was= 
under the necessity of taking my own four-oared boat 
that my father and mother gave me, and swam ashore. 
It was on Sunday, and I went to seek for an officer of 
justice; had I but known that justice far poor sailors^ 
had no residence on that island, I might have saved my- 
self the trouble of looking for him. Captaim Black,- 
with three gens-d'-armes, (that is, constables,) met me- 
in the street, and he ordered them to take me to prison,, 
and keep me till he should call for me. I asked him 
how I became his slave? but it availed me nothing; 
he was a rich man, a shipowner, and to prison I was? 
compelled to go. 

This captain Black was an outlaw, who had to flee 
from England. He went to Calcutta, and had to leave 
there also, and take refuge on the Isle of France^ 
where many of the inhabitants, and chief in authority, 
were composed of such characters as himself I was 
thrust into a dark, filthy room, among about a dozen. 



167 

of the most miserable looking human beings that ever 
existed, about half covered with filthy rags; and their 
skin so dirty, that it would puzzle a geni to tell whe- 
ther they were whites, blacks, mulattoes, or Indians. 
But grog was their delight and desire; for the iron 
door was scarcely shut, when they all began to dance 
around me, some singing, and others demanding mo- 
ney to pay my entrance. I thought if I should stay 
long there, I should pay dear enough, without giving 
money; but I could not get clear, so I handed them a 
rupee, and they procured a gallon of new rum. I re- 
mained there two days and nights, and all we had to 
eat was a small tub of boiled rice, twice each day, and 
about a quarter of a pound of salt beef. I managed it 
so as to send a note to the captain of the frigate, that 
lay there as guard ship, to prevent the slave-trade, and 
he ordered Captain Black to set me at liberty. The 
captain of the frigate befriended me through animosity 
to Captain Black, because he had been the means of 
the frigate's being a fortnight at quarantine. 

I got my chest and clothes out of the ship, to a board- 
ing house, and I was constantly in search of a chance 
to get back to Java. But the recent cholera struck so 
much dread on merchants, that they were afraid to 
send their vessels to that island. I feJt very much de- 
jected, and cast down ; my whole desire was to get to 
Java again; and, though [ could get employ to go to 
other places, I could not endure the thought. To alle- 
viate my drooping spirit, I began to add the spirits of 
death, and went on from bad to worse. When I went 
10 speak to a captain or merchant, to solicit employ, I 
was generally so top-heavvr that they would spurn me 



from them with disdain. My cash was soon expend- 
ed, and my clothes fast absconding for liquor. Oh! 
what a corroding evil is the thirst for liquor! How 
could I have taken a more perverse method ? I took 
a short voyage, in a small sloop, 00 miles, to the island 
of Bourbon ; and left the sloop as soon as we returned, 
to look for a chance to go to Java ; but was again dis- 
appointed, and commenced drinking again, till the lit- 
tle money I had left was expended. 

I got a berth in a schooner, and took a voyage to- 
Madagascar. We arrived at a harbour in that island 
called Anguensee. We were nine in number on board, 
and the women came on board, the first evening, in 
such numbers, that I had eighteen to set on shore the 
next morning. When they came on board, the captain 
would give them about a half a gill of new rum each, 
and they would dance with such dexterity, that the 
schooner would tremble. The inhabitants of that island 
are next to cannibals. Cattle abound there; and the 
natives will catch them, cut their throats, and each one 
will begin to slash away through their hides, cutting 
out junks any where, which they clap on the coals, 
and, when roasted, they yaffle it down v/ithout salt or 
bread. Some of them use boiled rice. They seldom 
' take the trouble to turn a creature over, vv^hen there 
are others near at hand. 

This is a beautiful fertile island; any thing will 
grow on it. The British have frequently attempted to 
civilize the inhabitants, and settle there. But the me- 
thod they took with them was always so full of in- 
trigue, that they could not succeed: they would make 
the inhabitants many promises,, for the purpose of get- 



ioO 

ting permission to settle with them, which they did not 
mean to perfbim; thinking, when once their foot-hold 
was sure, they could subdue them by power. But they 
were mistaken ; for, as soon as the natives found them 
slack in fulfilling their promises, they would poison 
the water, which killed part of them, and then iall on 
the rest and massacre them. 

A frigate from France was lying at an island on the 
coast of Madagascar, called St. Mary's; the^^ were at- 
tempting to make a settlement there, and had succeed- 
ed m forcing the natives to the mainland of Madagas- 
car. This frigate had left France eighteen months 
previous, with over 600 men ; there were now only 
120 left ; and when I w^nt on board of her, she had the 
appearance of an hospital ; the sick were lying in every 
direction about her decks; they were about giving it 
up for a bad job. We took a cargo of rice, and return- 
ed to the Isle of France. I left my vessel again, with 
the intention of finding a passage to Java, let what would 
stand in the way ; but was again unsuccessful, and again 
to drinking I went. My clothes were all gone, but 
one shirt and a pair of trowsers: with these 1 would 
go out of town a mile or so each week, and get among 
the flags or bushes -b}' a brook ; pull one off at a time,, 
and wash them : and have to remain there all day for 
them to dry. I had neither hat nor shoes ; no boaid- 
ing-house, nor place nor means to get victuals, except 
what I got through the charity of the British soldiers, 
and now and then a sailor that chanced to come ashore 
with a little money. M}- lodging was in one corner of 
the guard-house. How different my situation now, to 
what it was in Grissea, when I could stand in the piazza, 



17a 

^nd view the staggering tarry s-iilors passmg througft 
the streets ! And what was th^ caiKse? Rum— nothing' 
but rum ! and yet I would Dot take the hint. At last^ 
1 was smitten with boils, so^re boils, from my hips to my 
toes, so that I could scarcely hobble along. I made ap- 
plication to get into the hospital. Inn there was no ad- 
mittance for me — I was a Yankee. Besides the above 
afflictions that I had brought upon myself, there was 
one bodily infirmity more serious, that wsl< through the 
effects of drinking ; I discharged something like a half- 
pint of blood each day. I made my calculation to live 
but a few years , and O reader ! whatever may be your 
views of death, 1 think if I had died in the nr^iserable 
state of mind I then retained, all would have been lost 
forever : and I feel- unfeigned gratitude, that, though 
through much more affliction, 1 have been spared to see 
and feel my fally. I found out a remedy for my sores, 
abated drinking a little, and got so that I could go about 
again. 1 also found out a method, though a poor one> 
by which I could gain a subsistence ; and that was, by 
gathering what is commonly termed cat-tails, for beds. 
They were large and plenty near the town ; the inha- 
bitants knew not what to make of them, till I showed 
ihem y but my work did not last long, for they sent their 
negroes after them. Not being able to find a passage 
to Java, and there being an English merchant ship there 
that wanted hands, I shipped in her, thinking to get to 
Java from Europe. We touched at St. Helena for wa- 
ter and stores ; this was about four months after Na- 
poleon died. We had 150 invalid troops on board, 
with about 25 cabin passengers ; and there was much 
anxiety to go and behold the place where Bony was 



171 

Juried. Many of them v/er t ; but as I belonged totW 
boat, 1 was deprived of th'i benefit, if it could liave been- 
one. We sailed from St. Hr^lena. 

In latitude 11 deg. nortii, our captain died. He was 
a fine man. The second mate took charge of the ship, 
the chief mate having left her at the Isle of France. — ■ 
We had a long, hut pleasant passage, and arrived at 
Portsmouth about the first of July, 1822^. I got my 
wages, left the ship, and went to London by land. I- 
resorted to public houses, and, for a while, as long as 
my money lasted, forgoi all about Java. Sailors were 
very plenty in London at that time, and many of them- 
witliout victuals or lodgings. Il was hard to get employ- 
ment on board of a ship at that time. 1 was glad to 
take the first chance that ofFered^ and^ was fortunate 
enough to get one with no trouble. 

1 shipped in- a vessel called the Triton. We sailed 
to the G'dlf of St. Lawrence, took a cargo of timber,- 
and sailed again for Liverpool, in England. As we' 
were steering out of the Gulf of Si. Lawrence, our cap- 
tain shaped his course, as he thought, to clear Cape' 
Breton Island ; and it was thick, cloudy v/eather, with 
squalls of hail and rain. At eight o'clock in the eve- 
ning I went to- the, wheel. It was my trick ; all the 
rest of the w-atch were in the cook-house, to avoid the 
rain. It appeared very black ahead ;. but I had no sus- 
picion of its being land. I thought it was the lee set of 
clouds ; it blew very hard, and we were sailing under 
double reefed topsails and foresail. The mate, tvho had 
the watch, went into the cabin for some purpose ; mean, 
while, one of the apprentice lads who was in our watch, 
kfl the cooK-house, and went forward to take a look 



ahead ; and it was well he did so ; for we were running 
stem on to a mountainous shore, where the ship would 
have been dashed in pieces, like oven wood, in fifteen 
minutes, if she had struck the rocks, which were not 
more than a mile distant. We rounded the ship to, 
broadside to the wind, and just crawled off, Here 
rigai'n is one manifestation that luck is better than 
riches. 

We steered for England, through constant storms^ 
heavy gjjles, cold and wet. The ship leaked ail over 
her, and we could not find a dry place to sleep, what 
little chance we got to enjoy tliat privilege; and the 
weather was such that we could get nothing dry. We 
were running with a stilF south-west wind, and it was 
very foggy. Our captain expected we were near the 
mouth of the Irish channel ; but could not tell correct- 
ly, as the sun had not appeared to view for many days. 
All at once the wind died away, and a breeze from the 
north-west sprang up, which dispersed the fog, and once 
more saved the ship and our lives; for we were run- 
ning stem on to the west coast of Ireland ; and had the 
fog continued, nothing could have saved us : for night 
was coming on, and we should have kept our course, as 
the captain and mate reckoned we were 70 miles fur- 
tlier south, which made them feel safe. 

After one more gale, off the coast of Wales, we suc- 
ceeded in getting safe to Liverpool. When sober, and 
in my right mind, I still had the greatest desire to re- 
turn to Java, v^'iiich 1 might have done, easy enough, 
had I only kept sober when on shore. But this seemed 
impossible : and I am often astonished that 1 possessed 
such a perverse nature, and practised so much to my 



1T3 

hurt. Ai;er carousing like a fool for three months, 1 
haci the good luck to get a berth in a laige brig, bound 
to the coast of Africa, for gum, ivory, and palm oiL 
There came up a tornado before we sailed, and blew 
the shipping in the docks all through each other, so that 
some of the captains and merchants were puzzled to 
iind their own vessels. Several ships were wliolly dis- 
masted, and one schooner sunk in the dock. Thirty- 
six were killed and wounded in the city, by the falling 
of chimnies. Our brig liad her head knocked off, and 
her stern stove in. 

When she was repaired, we set sail, which was on 
the loth of December ; but it was cold enough to skin 
a gipsy. A fair wind, however, soon made it v/armer ; 
for, on Christmas day, we were running close past Ma- 
deira, with linen trowsers on, and nothing but our shirts. 
It was warm enough ; and we steered on till we made 
the coast of Africa, one morning, at a distance of about 
16 miles. Although we did not approach nearer the 
shore in that place, yet the Africans came off in great 
nunibers, in their little canoes, with rice, pigs, goats, ele- 
phants' teeth, soiTje gold dust, and gum. The first thing 
they called for was, a bottle of rum ; and they would 
not trade till they got it. We had ten puncheons on 
board, to be prepared to satisfy them. This was the 
stuff that made the good bargains whh them for our 
captain. 

Many of these Africans were entirely naked ; others 
had a bit ot*a m.at round their middle. We were still 
sailing onward, along the coast, and they staid on boai^d 
till sunset, some of them who were more anxious to de- 
oart than their comrades, would get into their canoes 



.74 



and paddle off a small distance from the brig ; theh 
they would stop, and call their mates, who were sitting 
on our vessel's deck, drinking and jabbering; they 
would start up, look as wild as deers, spring overboard, 
and swim to their canoes like tish, though that coast k 
thronged with ravenous sharks. Vv^e had a native of 
that country on board, who had been to England with 
the captain, the preceding voyage, and was now return- 
ing. The captain expected him to abide in the brig 
with us. But he pulled off iiis clothes, and fluni? them 
on deck, and was about to spring into a canoe ; but the 
captain called him back, and made him a present of a 
musket, a keg of powder, and some other articles, 
which, I think likely, made him .1 great man among his 
native companions, for he went off with them, rejoicing. 
We steered along the coast, up the bite of Benin, and 
entered the mouth of old Bony river, near the Equator. 
"Here we moored the brig with two chain cables and a 
swivel, built a roof over her from stem to stern, and 
■commenced trading with the natives. 

We had a room fitted up in the cabin as a store, 
where were depositerl all sorts of refuse goods. We 
had, also, boxe3 of gH muskets cleaned, and made to 
look v/ell, small cannon, and plenty of balls, about 500 
barrels of powder, tobacco, and 15 or 20,000 bars of 
iron. Money is of little use among them. All their 
reckonings are made by the value of a bar of iron. No 
merchant there is p'M^mitted to buy or sell till the king 
has been on board to break trade. And sometimes ho 
lets vessels lie there a fortnight, before he'll come: and 
when he comes, he comes in splendour, in a vvar canoe, 
about sixty feet in length, with sixty men, thirty on each 



175 

side, with paddles. His band of ini'sic always atleiKk 
liim, consisting of turn turns, brass pans, and pieces of 
plai/k. vvith splinters fixed on them, all composing a 
sound somethiag like a tune. 

Tbe king always carrirs his father's bones w^ith him 
in a bag. These, he thinks, are the means of giving 
him the same prosperity i-.is father had^ And always, 
when he is approaching a vessel, to break trade, he 
dashes an egg ogain.^t her side. This, he thinks, pre- 
^ents intiigue. He jmust also have a handsome present, 
which answers the purpose of custom-house fees. No 
merchant, or any inhabitant in his country, is allowed 
to wear pantaloons. This is for his own honour. The 
young people, both male and t'einale, go stajk naked till 
they are fifteen years of age. 

While we lay there, we had four of the king's sons, 
who remained on board to learn the English language. 
They were nearly of one age, about 15, (as the king 
had a number of wives.) They would dress themselves 
w4]en they heard their father was coming on board.— 
Their dress consisted in washing themselves in a large 
tub, and fastening a string of sl.eils around their naked 
bodies. We had six of the natives en board, who are 
called pullaw-ay-boys. These w^e kept to do the work 
in the boats, and pull ihem to and from the shore ; as., 
in that hot climate, it w^as dangerous for white sailors to 
be exposed in the burning sun. One of these boys could 
speak Engiibh. 1 asked him, one day, what made black 
people love to sell each other, and send them off in ships 
never to return to their countiy and friends? "0!'' 
said he, " slave- trade dat good ah trade, go up de ribber, 
kesh um neger, or ma be buy um, he wak in e canoo^ 



176 

fesh um down, he wak ashore, go to de house, bum by 
come ship, he wak to canoo agin, tak um board ; he 
wak up ship side, dis no much trouble, dis slave-trade 
good ah trade. Dis pah-n oil trade dat ah debble ah 
trade ; must go pick um oiT of tree, poun um, to get 
stone out, den must boil um, den put um in a hogshead, 
rool um in e canoo, fesh em board ship, den hise um 
up, den stow um awa in e hold, dat ah debble ah much 
work." " But," said I, " suppose the king should sell 
you, how would you like it?" **0!" said he, " king 
no sell ah me, me good fren for de king; king no sell 
ah me." This is depraved human nature, never mind 
who sinks, if I can but swim. 

The object of their devotion is a thing like a snake, 
called a guanna; but they call it juju. With this they 
make a great fuss, and would massacre the person that 
would dare to kill one of them, though in the West In- 
dies, and other countries where they are found, they 
are considered most delicious food. As the king was 
returning in his canoe from a visit to the juju-house, 
our captain ordered an eighteen pounder to be got 
ready, to salute him as he passed. While loading and 
firing this cannon, by the mismanagement of our mate, 
in not stopping the venuhole, it went off, while one of 
our best men was ramming the charge home. Tlte fatal 
consequence was, he lost his arm. The sharks are so 
numerous and ferocious there, that they will nab a man 
as quick as he is in the water. This was proved a 
short distance from our brig, while we lay there. A 
canoe, with two men in it, capsized ; one of them saved 
himself by springing into another canoe ; but the other 
had his entrails torn out, in less than two minutes after 



177 

he struck the water. About the same time there wa« 
a canoe came alongside, with a lad in her, who had 
just been attacked by a shark, lost his hand, besides 
two other wounds. He had been fishing, and had got 
out of the canoe to pull up the stake that she was fas- 
tened to, when the shark made a sweep for him. Our 
doctor amputated his arm ; we kept him on board for 
a month, ti} he got weU ; he would most likely har^ 
died, had it not been for surgical aid. 

On the opposite shore of the river, lies the kingGGra 
of New Calebar. Here the natives worship the shark, 
and make a large procession every year ; a large mul- 
titude assemble in canoes on the river, with a human 
victim, who is bound hands and feet ; at their set time, 
he is thrown overboard, and floats with the tide till a 
shark takes him ; then there is a shout from the whole 
multitude — a tremendous sound. The French, Por- 
tuguese, and Spaniards, were those that came there for 
slaves ; and notwithstanding the mouth of the river 
was guarded by a British frigate, they succeeded ia 
getting out with ships loaded with them. We lay there 
four months ; got a full cargo of oil, gum, and ivory ; 
threw the roof of the ship overboard ; and with difl> 
culty got over the bar, that extended 10 or 12 miles 
outside of the mouth of the river, and was dangeroue, 
as our brig drew 18 feet water, and there was only i9| 
on the bar, and a swell running. 

We were three months on our passage to England, 
and had to ride five days in quarantine in sight of the 
city of Liverpool. The longing desire to enjoy the 
pleasing allurements of this city, so long anticipated, 
and now within our view, made these five days appear 
12 



longer than the whole voyage had been. I had about' 
$60 coming to me, and six beautiful grey parrots that 
brought me $5 each, and some other articles, making 
the amount about $100. How often had I reckoned 
with the strictest precision every penny, making calcu- 
lations what 1 should do ! Never did an old miser 
make more calculations of his chink, than I did of my 
wages, and what I meant to do when I should get on 
shore; and so plainly did I view the evil, that I set up 
the strongest resolution, as I thought^ against intempe- 
rance. But alas! where were all these good determi- 
nations when we got on shore, and came near the first 
grog-shop or tavern ? They had lied ; yet I frequent- 
ly heard them, like bees, humming in my ears. Self- 
reflection, the instinct of past resolutions, robbed me of 
all, or at least the best of my vain pleasure. I bought 
some first-rate clothing, and felt as big as anybody. 
The theatre, dance-room, and public-house, were my 
only haunts. One night, I staid too long at a public- 
house before I started to go to the place where I meant 
to lodge, and they were all in bed when I got there; 
so I sat down on a door stoop, and fell asleep — had a 
little too much beer on board. The watchman came 
oiong, and began to rouse me, inquiring where I board- 
ed ? As I did not like to disturb the people where I 
boarded at that time of night, I told him that I had no 
boarding-house. He insisted I had. I asked him if 
lie would conduct me home, if I told him where I 
boarded? He said he would. I told him I boarded 
in No. 63 Cherry-street, New-York. '' Come," said 
I, " show me the way.'^ He got angry, called another 
watchman, and they conducted me to the coal-hole, the 



179 

rity prison, under ground. I was locked into a filthy 
room, annong about thirty of the vilest wretches the city 
could afford. It was now Sunday morning, and the 
prospect w^as, that I would have to remain there until 
Monday noon. Bad as I was, I did not mingle in dis- 
course with this group. I found out that, by paying 
a small sum, I could get into a decent, comfortable 
room ; this I did, and was accommodated with what I 
called for. The next day, I was arranged, with about 
fifty of all characters but good, in a long passage un- 
der ground, to be called up before the assembled court 
as our names stood on the list. As it was near morn- 
ing w^hen I was brought in, I had to wait till the last, 
and had to put all the patience I was possessed of in 
exercise. When I was called up, the judge asked what 
was my crime ? The watchman was there, and made 
answer, that I had used insulting language, at a late 
hour of the night. Said the judge to me, " What was 
you doing in the street, an'd insulting the watchman, 
at a late hour, for ?' I told him it was an early hour, 
for it was but two o'clock; that I did not think of in- 
sulting any man ; as it was so early, I did not wish to 
disturb anybody to let me in ; I then told what I had 
said to the watchman, which set the whole court in a 
roar of laughter; and the judge told me to go about 
my business. 

My money was soon out of my reach, and I had to 
traverse the docks, among the shipping, in search of a 
berth. My best clothes were already in the pawn- 
broker's shop. Now, again, the good resolutions that 
I had formed during the last, and many voyages pre- 
vious, came fresh and with double weight to my me- 



180 

rnory— but too late; and, as before, I began to lays 
foundation on which to raise another fabric of deter- 
minations, when I should get something to build with, 
I found a berth on board of a ship bound for Belfast, in 
Ireland, there to take passengers for America. On the 
short passage to Belfast, we had a tremendous gale, 
and came near being cast away on the Isle of Man ; 
our ship was very lightly manned, a heavy ship, and I 
left her as soon as we arrived at Belfast. I got into a 
boaiding-house, where I was well treated lor a fort- 
night. I got a berth in a large brig belonging to Bel- 
fast, and bound to Demarara : the captain, mate, and 
•\11 hands Irish, but myself There is such a stigma 
on the character of this people, that I knew not what 
would be the result of my being alone among them : 
but I did not fear, and soon found out I had no occa- 
sion to fear — for they were the best set of fellows that 
ever I got among. We arrived at Demarara, after a 
passage of eight weeks, and commenced discharging 
our cargo. Here again, as usual, I began to get dis- 
contented, and I thought I wanted to get to the States. 
I left the Irish brig, though well treated ; and fell in 
with a good-natured Scotchman on shore, who gave 
me the privilege of occupying an empty house, to keep 
me from being taken up by the patrol, or town-guard. 
For my subsistence, I got employ at knitting fish-nets 
for gentlemen of that place ; but as rum was plenty 
and cheap there, I had often to go without my dinner, 
and supper too. I found that this way of living wouM 
not do, I fell in with the captain of a brig belonging 
to New-Bedford, and bound to New-York, who gave 
me a passage home with him. The first night after 



181 

v»'€ set sail, as 1 stood at the helm, the captain brougbi 
me a good pea-jacket; so low had I brought myself by 
the distressing habit of intemperance, that 1 had no 
jacket; he also let mc have bed-clothes, and when we 
arrived at New-York, gave me twelve dollars. But 
this was useless; for 1 had got to such a degrading 
pitch of intemperance, that money did me more harm 
than good. Strange, that a burned child should so love 
the fire ! 

I had been gone from the United States over nine 
years; and many hundreds of times, during my ab- 
sence, had I, for hours together, meditated the joyful 
anticipation of beholding and enjoyinglhe pleasures of 
my native land ; only for two or three years I had my 
fnftections on Java. While for four whole years con- 
fined in a prison in Holland, with what delight would 
I bring the scene of my arrival in my much-desired 
fjative country to my view, and with what anxiety did 
I wish for the time to pass away! And to what pur- 
pose ? What did I enjoy when I got there? Nothing 
but the degrading, miserable comforts of inebriation. 
Alas ! this is not the end ; the worst, by far the worst, 
is to come. 

I staggered about the streets ol New- York, from 
grocery to grog-shop, and from one den of infamy to 
another, for a fortnight, till my money was gone, and 
what credit I could get from my landlord ; and then 
shipped in the States' service, and went on board of the 
old steam frigate, there to await until the sloop of war 
Ontario was fitted out. When I had got on board, I 
was as one crazy for three days, with the horrors. J 
felt as if 1 was beset with fiends of hell, within and all 



182 

about me. If I started to go two rods after anything,. 
I would forget what I was after before I got two steps, 
then have to stand awhile to gather my recollecting 
faculties, before I could go a step farther. It wore off 
after awhile, and I was employed in knitting a net to 
catch goldfish in Italy. 

When the Ontario was ready, I was conveyed on 
board of her, with the rest of the crew, and had the 
good fortune to be rated quartermaster. I got liberty 
to go on shore at New- York. Lieutenant Taylor had 
no suspicion of my clearing out, as my wages Avere 
$18 per month, while seamen's wages were only $12, 
and the service much harder, in merchantmen ; neither 
had I the least intention of deserting when I went on 
shore. But the spot of my nativity came to my mind; 
my father and my sister; the latter w^as now 30 years 
old, and I had seen her but once since she was 2 years. 
I was going a three years' cruise, perhaps never to re- 
turn, and this was the only chance I might over have 
of getting home. But O, the sad idea of going home 
in health, with not a cent to help myself with. These 
thoughts occupied my mind through the day on which 
I went on shore; and, towards night, I shaped my 
course on foot up the North River, frequently looking 
back, expecting to see an officer after me. 



183 



MESUI^T OF INCONSIDE RATION. 



Where falls this censure ] It o'erwhelms myself! 
How was my heart incrusted by the world ! 
O, how sclf-fetter'd was my grov'lling soul ! 
How, like a worm, was I wrapt round and round 
In silken thought, which reptile fancy spun. 
Till darkened reason lay quite clouded o'er 
With soft conceit of endless comfort here, 
^or yet put forth her wings to Teach the skies! 

Young. 

I WAS now shaping- my cQurse to the town where 
my mother had been resting in her grave for about 28 
years. I had been absent 19 of the latter years — and 
what had been my progress? My mind and spirit 
were ebbing and flowing like the tide; now elated in 
hopes of seeing my father and sister — then sinking in 
dejection, when reflecting that I was returning home 
without a cent of money, after the numerous advanrta- 
j^eous opportunities I had misimproved. The sting of 
i:onscience was keen, and I knew of nothing to blunt 
its sharpness but liquor; this I had not the means of 
procuring. I went to sawing wood at the village of 



184 

Siog-Sing, till I got a few shillings; and nny cares of 
a serious nsture were soon far away. 1 began to think 
the world of mankind were all rogues, and he that had 
the greatest share ia it was the best fellow. Though 
I had been under the best tuition for roguery, I had no 
skill in the business. I had the will, but did not know 
how to begin. Considering the habits and practices of 
my superiors through my former life, and the circum- 
stances in which I was placed, what could be expected t 
I viewed the inhabitants of a wealthy community, en- 
joying peace and the good of the land. " These," I 
thought, " have never felt hardships; and why should 
I suffer with want, more than they? * God is no re- 
specter of persons.' The world was made for me, a^ 
well as for another, and all that is in it." 

I view'd a God of perfect skill, all things to regulate ; 
But little thought my stubborn will was ruler of my fate. 
I viewed myself a perfect man, with those in shape like mc , 
Resolv'd I was to try some plan to rise as high as he. 

To justify myself in wickedness, I contemplated the 
practices of men in authority, as it regarded nations at 
waro The rulers of a government will issue commis- 
sions to merchants, or any person, giving them license 
to fit out vessels well stocked with the implements of 
death; and what for? To plunder individuals on the 
high seas, the road of nations, and those perhaps that 
AYished our country Vv^ell; and I viewed human laws 
av^ a mess of humbugging stuffy calculated by the rich 
to keep themselves rich, and keep the poor poor. In- 
tiuenced by such feelings, 1 was ready for any act (not 
iocluding murder) of dishonesty that opportunity pre- 
sented. When I got to Stillwater, I went and stoVl om 



185 

the ground where the houso hnd stood that, was my fa- 
ther's, when my mother died. Here 1 liad a few mo- 
ments' solemn reflections, which started the tear of re 

fentance. 1 was sober, and resolved to live a reformed 
ife. 

" Oh ! had my mother liv'd, and thought 
Of all the ills my folly wrought; 
Could she have view'd my future year?, 
Revolving through this vale of tears ; 
Keen anguish for my wayward state, 
She would havemourn'd my coming fate, 
And wish'd, alas! from worldly sti ife, 
Unknown I might have pass'd thro' litG/' 

From Stillwater, I trudged about thirty-five miles t<j 
the residence of my sister. Her circumstances were 
little adapted to render me assistance, though I was re- 
ceived with welcome, and treated with fraternal affec- 
tion by her and her husband. But I was urged in 
mind by extreme anxiety jto make up lost time ; and I 
started for somewhere, not considering much which 
\vay I steered, I thought the years of my life too far 
advanced, to attain to affluent circumstances by a coursi? 
of probity; but I was resolved to have riches. I madt» 
an attempt to get some clothes out of a house in the 
night, w^hile the inmates were enjoying the security 
and privilege that the silent hours afibidtd. This prize 
amounted to fifteen months' imprisonment in Simsbury 
mines. This was a death-blow to my prospects; and 
I had no way to cheer the gloom, but by reflecting 
that som.e of my companions were much worse offthan 
myself 



186 

*' Still lost to virtue, lost to manly thought, 
Lost to the noble sallies of the soul !" 

Here was d-evotional exercise once each week, to 
which I was compelled to attend. My conscience 
conceded to the truth of the gospel, and I meant to com- 
ply with its requisitions some time or other; but was 
determined to get into good circumstances first. I jus- 
tified myself in contemplated acts of dishonesty, by my 
necessitated condition in life. On that ground, I thouglrt 
that God, who was always ready to forgive, would ac- 
cept of me at any time. 

Where is the man of common sense, 

Such folly can excel. 
To think to sin at God's expense. 

And shun the road to hell ? 

But Mercy view'd the lurking charm, 

The false, deluded heart ; 
And sent conviction's mighty arm, 

To pierce it with his dart. 

Now gratitude shall take the seat 

That falsehood held so long ; 
While Satan must with shame retreat, 

God's praise shall be my song. 

Yet I was for years in affliction before I learned this 
song. When I got my liberty, at the expiration of the 
fifteen months, I shaped my course to New-London, 
where I was again arrested for having deserted a ves- 
sel, that I had agreed to perform a voyage in. While 
I was .in jail for safe keeping, till the vessel alluded K) 



187 

should be ready, a fellow from the country was put in 
the room with me. He was a man of very disagree- 
able temper and habits; he irritated me in many ways, 
but mostly by keeping me awake at night. I had no 
patience with him, but threatened and swore at him ; 
and our strife became constant. He awoke me just at 
daybreak one morning, with his rattling about, after I 
had been awake the greatest part of three nights. In 
the extremity of passion, I sprang from my bed, and 
caught up a bench, with which I struck him on the 
back of his head. He fell like an ox. Flad he kept 
his position, he would have received but little injury; 
but seeing the bench swiftlj^ approximating him, he 
dodged, which was the means of my hitting him in a 
tender spot. The first words bespoke were, "Help 
me up!" 1 put my hands under his forehead, to as- 
sist him. Think what must have been m.y horror, 
u^heh they were instantly filled with blood ! " Now," 
said he, " I shall die, and you'll be hung ;" yet I could 
not believe that he was much injured. I had frequently 
seen men get knocked down, and lie awhile as if dead, 
then up and at it again ; and I thought he was in a si- 
milar condition — merely stunned. He scrambled along 
to a grated window^ that was stuffed full of old blan- 
kets to keep the cold out; afler pulling them out, he 
raised the thrilling cry of Murder ! Reader, if you 
want to realize what were my sensations, you have 
only to imagine yourself in my situation, with the dis- 
mal cry of murder sounding through the silent town 
and in your ears, and yourself the murderer. Lest you 
should be left in error, as to your conclusion of my cha- 
racter, in regard to fighting or w'ar, I'll just give you 



188 

a short impartial sketch of it, if I may be allowed the 
privilege. I coald always fight best with my tongue 
[f I ever fought, it was when I got penned up in a 
corner, and got a blow or two; but a braver fellow 
never sung a song in a grog-shop, especially if I had 
the price of a few glasses of grog. 

For honour brave my mind did rage, 

I thought it fine to wear the badge ; 

The glare of arms was my delight, 

And yet I was afraid to fight. 

What spirit could me so allure? 

I cannot tell, I won't be sure. 

What power could force me thus to do — 

To love a thing, and fear it too 1 

A child might have a good excuse; 

But when a man, what was the use 7 

To practice what I knew so well 

Expos'd me to the pains of hell! 

O foolish passion ! How severe I 

To cause me such a course to steer; 

To agitate myself in vain, 

And still to make me hope for gain! 

The people in the vicinity of the jail, were alarmed^ 
nnd came thronging* into the jail, the door was un- 
locked, the poor fellow told his story, and the jailer 
asked me if I had been killing him. I denied it; but 
rny master, or Mr. Fortune, had left me; and I was 
doomed, under the direction of Miss Fortune, the de- 
formed lady I had been wooing all my life-time. The 
man was conducted to a room in the jailers apartment, 
the surgeon was srnt for, and Pilgarlic was depositeil 



189 

in a liuls ceil, which they termed a dun<rcon The ti- 
dmgs came to me that his skull was fraJIuud. and h« 
could not lu-e till night. Alas I my poor soul ! thought 
I; have 1 come to this at last? 1 viewed mj self as 
already under the gallows; then I could see myself 
swung off and writhing in the last struggle. Not a 
word could I utter excepting. "Lord have mercy on 
my poor soul." 'Ihese words I constantly repeated 
for two hours. I think my mind was exercised much 
m the same manner as that represented of the poor 
publican; tnough I was not affected on account of the 
dtstressmg situation of the poor fellow I had struck 
^^cores ot people called to see the murderer throu<rh 
the day and various were their opinions. Some sakl, 
Don t he look like a murderer V Others formed a 
moi^ favoiirable opinion of me. All this I considered 
trifling. My distress was to know if the man was like- 
^ to recover. As the time wore away, my hope re- 
vived. But the terror of this circumstancie was tho 
means ot my discarding many foolish practices for 

iT I«Tfi- T ' V''"'";"°" '°°'^ Pl'^"^^ February 
Ulii, 1826 I was bound over to appear before the 
supreme Court, which was to sit in October fol- 
lowing. 

As my bond was 500 dollars, 1 had to remain in jail 
I was well treated and enjoyed myself better than I 
had for any length of time during my previous life 
Recollect that this jail stood on the spot where the old 
ja. stood, when the Italian was confined, and went to 
^ate prison for stabbing me thirteen years previous 
It 13 somethmg remarkable, that I should be permitted 
to range aii over the world, then come to fhe sam. 



190 

spot, and learn, by affliction, to sympathize for the suf^ 
ferings I had by my folly caused one of niy fellow^ 
beings; though *1 had often felt sorry for him, while 
suffering confinement for fifteen months in the same 
prison where the Italian sufiTered seven long years. 

When the court sat in October, I was set at liberty, 
and tramped over two hundred miles, bare-footed, to 
the dwelling of my sister. My mind was then inclined 
to lead the life of a Christian. My sister had been so 
inclined from her childhood, and she used every efibrt 
to assist me in the right way. Short was the duration. 
I got into lewd, intemperate company— let go the reins 
oflntegrity and probity — and ere I was aware of what 
I was^'about, I found myself safely enclosed by the 
strong walls and massy bars of Ballstown jail ; and I 
suppose you would like to know what for. As I toW" 
you .some time ago how I learned to plunder, by law,- 
I now undertook it without a commission; my only 
stimulus was rum. While staggering along one night, 
I fell in with a small woollen factory; as there was 
no person in it to oppose me, or prove their property, 
and as I v^^as in want of clothes, I took on a few rolls of 
satinet ; but 1 was so much by the head, that I could 
not carry sail; I was taken. The efl^ects of the rum 
emboldened me to do the act ; the effects of the same 
was the means of my getting apprehended. The ef- 
fects of my long inconsiderate and dissipated habits, 
were now commencing a more thorough operation than 
I had previously experienced. I had been frequently 
chastened and admonished by afflictions, and had been 
convinced that they were the fruits of my folly; but 
my habits we^'e so strongly riveted by the hammers of 



191 

example and practice, that a longer time was requisite 
to accomplish the labour of determination. My pre- 
vious chastenings were severe, it is true; but of short 
duration, and therefore soon out of mind. Human 
nature is inclined to self-gratification, and deep-rooted 
habits are hard to eradicate. 

I was tried, and sent to Auburn for a term of three 
years. In that prison, I found eA^ery thing as much 
calculated ("or the comfort and benefit of the inmates 
as consistency would admit. I never had cause nor 
disposition to murmur or complain. I read my Bible 
attentively, and had my heart and ears open to receive 
all the instruction I could from every sermon. In 
fact, I performed every ordinance of the law, and felt 
pretty happy. I also felt that there Avas something 
lacking. I did not believe I was a Christian. I felt 
that I was an unprofitable servant. I felt, as I truly 
w^as, in the valley of humiliation ; neither did I ever 
again intend to climb the hill of difficulty in my own 
strength. But the time w^ore away very slowly. Each 
morning, when I seated myself in the shop, and cast 
a look around me upon the things too familiar with 
my sight, my impression has been accompanied with 
a sigh, "Ah! lam kere yet;" and with critical ob- 
servation would number each rolling month, week, and 
day — seldom bringing to mind that time with me 
might cease before freedom arrived. And I regretted 
the loss of time through life, not because I had misim- 
proved it as it regards the obligations I owed to God 
of my life: but because I had, by intemperance, and 
other bad habits, robbed myself of the pleasures of the 
world. How would my heart drop below zero, when 



192 

the thought came to my mind, I am forty years old ; 
and when I got liberated, as I travelled through the 
country, and beheld the peaceful dwellings of thriving 
farmers, and flourishing citizens, with their families 
and children, and all the comforts of life about them, 
the solemn reflection would be — Why have i been so 
foolish'? These blessings might have been my happy 
lot: but alas! how sillily have I let them slip. And 
again I would think of Cain, the son of Adam — a fu- 
gitive and a vagabond on the earth: but I would fain 
have been as well ofl* as he, as to worldly treasure; 
for he went to the land of Nod, had a son, and built a 
city, and called it Enoch, after his son. In fact, I had 
read the Bible through seven times, but could not 
find so miserable a character described on its sacred 
pages as myself Judas Iscariot came the nearest. — - 
Hosea the prophet says, chap. iv. verse 11, '' Whore- 
dom and wine, and new wine, destroy tne heart." 
This was near my case; and my foolish d( sires were 
not yet quelled. The chaplain at Auburn had mada 
me a present of a small book on intemperance, and I 
found a passage in it from Galatians, like this : " ¥/alk 
in the spirit, ani ye shall not fulfil the lusts of the 
flesh.'' Though t had so often read this passage in 
the Testament, I never had viewed it with intensity; 
but now I took good notice of it, considering how I 
should w^alk in the spirit — as if in works the whole 
depended— forgetting that I should first get in the spi- 
rit ; but I concluded to keep it in remembrance, that is, 
to walk in the spirit, as if I was in possession of it al- 
ready. 

I ventured to the dwelling of my sister, knowing 



193 

that she possessed a compassionate spirit, tcjinper, and 
disposition ; and I was not mistaken ; for I was cor- 
dially received; and I had learned so mucli scripture, 
and could talk (and, as I thought, feel,) religion so 
\Tell, they thought i would soon become a preacher of 
the gospel; and I thought, truly, that I was not far 
from the kingdom of heaven : yet there seemed to be 
something wanting, and 1 thought it was nothing but 
a wife, so as not to fulfil the lusts of the flesh in an un- 
lawful way. I went to the city of Troy to get employ- 
ment, and got work at loading and unloading vessels. 
I there became acquainted with a young v/ornan who 
came now and then to visit the woman with whom I 
boarded; with this young woman I made a hasty bar- 
gain, and we got married. The times became dull, 
my wife got sick, I could not get work, and was in 
more distress than I had ever been before, excepting 
when I struck the man with the bench. As yet, since 
I left Auburn, I had not taken a glass of strong liquor; 
but now, ia my extreme distress, I thought I could jus- 
tify myself in taking a little. But O! sad mistake! 
I no sooner commenced, than all the hellish propensi- 
ties in me were alive that I thought had been long bu- 
ried; at first I hesitated to comply with the tempter, 
but my extreme poverty and distress I took as means 
of justification; and I thought if I should hook some 
notions to alleviate my distress, it would not be so great 
a sin. 1 was like a new beginner at the trade, impress- 
ed With reluctance; neither could I begin at all with.- 
out a heavy dose of the essence of the cane. 1 was in 
perpetual torment; there was a secret displeasure in 
all my contemDlations of wickedness, v/hich i concciv- 

13 



f94' 

e4 against myself, that was inconsistent with any 
enjoyment; so that, instead oi lessening my distress, 
sin laid the foundation for much greater misery. But 
as yet it was small, compared with what was ahead. 
Stored with a bottle of the best ammunition the devil 
eotild produce, viz. rum, I made several attacks in the 
d.ark— for 3^ou know my admiral loves darkness — and 
as I was an adbpted son, it was requisite that I should 
choose it, rather than light. I took several small 
prizes ; but O, the dismal state of my mind, when I 
awoke sober in the morrangf' Now was applied the 
true touchstone, by which I might have proved the 
things which were conducive to my happiness. Little 
did 1 think how corroding the eiects of these vile acts 
would operate in my future life. For instance, sup- 
pose yourself in my miserable state of mind; you have 
an opportunity of getting some great advantage by 
doing some vile act; whilst you look only at the ad- 
vantage, and think over all the ways in which k may 
be serviceable to your pleasure or ambition, the temp- 
tation will be strong, and the more you indulge the 
above thoughts, at so much greater distance the evil of 
the contemplated act is removed from the mind. But 
suppose the thing done, and the advantage gained ; 
and then put yourself in a posture of looking back upon 
the whole transaction, and see what comfort will arise 
from the reflection: such a thought must ever be at- 
tended with a secret abhorrence of ourselves ; and how 
happy the man is who lives under a continual displea- 
sure of himself, let any one judge. Such was the dis- 
composure of the body, depressed by the effects of thd 
liquor that I had poured down to raise my spirits, ae- 



195 

companied by a sense of guilt, that 1 have often poured 
out the remains of my liquor into the fire, but not with- 
out reserving one good drink to cure the horrors — re- 
solving that this should be the last ; but this lastdrink 
would soon lose its reviving power, and like the seven 
unclean spirits returning with the first, leave me in a 
worse condition than before. At last, I had arrived at 
a pitch for decision ; my cruise was up : the gentle and 
kind calls of the Good Spirit could not, without neces= 
sary judgments, awaken me. I was detected with a 
parcel of leather that I had, without permission, import- 
ed from a tan-work by night. What was the confusion 
of my mind, when I came to my right senses, and found 
myself once more secured by massy walls and strong 
bars, is indescribable. My old admiral, the evil spirit 
that had been my justifier, was now far away ; for I 
was so immersed in sensuality and wickedness, that 
the rougher methods had become necessary, because 
my sense of feeling was too far gone to be affected with 
soft ones. The prophet says : " Let favour be showed 
to the wricked, yet will he not learn righteousness ; in 
the land of uprightness will he deal unjustly, and will 
not behold the majesty of the Lord. Lord, when thy 
hand is lifted up, they will not see : but they shall see, 
and be ashamed," &c. — Isaiah xxvi, 10, 11. Was not 
I ashamed ? Not for the world's sake, or man^s alone ; 
these were small embarrassments, compared with those 
of an eternal nature. How eagerly would I have hid 
from the wrath of Almighty God ! I looked back on 
his indulgences, the greatest of which I considered was 
in sparing the man's life that I struck in New- London 
jail, and the gratitude I for a while had cherished, and 



196 

promises I had made, and now, for the third time since 
then, in jail. Fire and sharp knives can only reach 
the feeling of a man grown stupid in lethargy, or an 
apoplectic fit, and therefore they only must be applied. 
In spiritual distempers, the same method is used by the 
wisdom of God. How was David called back to him- 
self? By grievous afflictions and heavy judgments; 
by uncommon misfortunes, which only could raise him 
to see his wretched state : and what folly it is, and how 
repugnant to reason, for any pleasure of sin, to make 
it necessary for God to send misery and afflictions to 
dwell with us; to bring ourselves into so desperate a 
condition as to require so desperate a remedy! But 
the mercy of God is without measure, and, like the sun, 
rises upon the evil and on the good, on the just and on 
the unjust. Perhaps, then, it will look down on me 
again, and avvaken me once more to see my danger, 
and the abommation of inconsideration, was my only 
hope; and though so defiled, I never once despaired of 
mercy. 

1 was again favoured by the men in judicial autho- 
rity, who pronounced on me the shortest sentence tha 
law would admit, viz. two years to Sing-Sing prison. 
They knew not that I was an okl offender, but dealt 
with me as if it had been the first offence; for I ap- 
peared, as I truly was, sincerely penitent. Had they 
known my former practices, my sincerity would have 
been but little valued, and ten or fourteen years would 
have been my honid sentence. But God knew my 
heart, and compelled them to act accordingly. A list 
of the names of convicts being transferred between Au- 
burn and Sing-Sing yearly, was the means of my being 



197 

recognised at the latter place as an old hard case, sis 
the keepers thought; and I was treated accordingly. 
It appears to me now that my Auburn suffering was the 
voice of mercy, and the extremely rigid treatment at 
Sing-Sing that of judgment. It was a bitter pill — but 
I am glad that I was forced to take it. 

It was the 12th of December, 1830, on a Sunday, 
when I arrived at the domain of American tyranny — 
Sing-Sing prison. Its appearance (though a bitter cold 
day) caused the drops ofsweat toooze through my skin, 
and filled my mind with a doleful horror. One glanc6 
conveyed more terror to my mind than my treatment 
at Auburn. The craggy heaps of broken stones around 
the numerous quarries, the surrounding sentinel boxes, 
and the implements for getting out stone, all betokened 
abject servitude. Had this been the worst of it, my suf- 
ferings while there would not have been so intolera- 
ble. Like an apple-tree that is hollow, excepting a 
small part that supplies the' branches with sap, so that 
it bears fruit, and makes as large a shadow as a sound 
tree — so it was with me. I had been worn out at sea, 
and by intemperate habits was full of rheumatic pains 
in my bones, or the effects of mercury that I had taken 
while in the Dutch service in the East Indies. In ad- 
dition to these, I had a soreness in my abdomen, and a 
dizziness in my head. As these infirmiiies were not 
perceivable to the relentless keepers, they imposed on 
me the same service as if 1 had been young and stout; 
and for several months, as I was not able to perform 
what they wished I should do, I had to bear the unre- 
mitting strokes of their cadgels over my head, face, or 
anywhere that cam^e most convenient for them to hit 



198 

me. The relentings of my soul were such, that I could 
not forbear weeping aloud almost constantly. I did 
not cherish the least temper of revenge ; it was self- 
reflection„ When I looked back and viewed the joy- 
ous seasons I had embraced at short intervals, and my 
folly in losing the best part of my life, and what I had 
brought myself to by inconsideration, my regret was of 
such a woful nature, that I have often burst into tears 
while performing my work, which if the keeper per- 
ceived, to alleviate my distress, he would give me a few 
raps with his cudgel. Three times each day, I had to 
spring with all my might up four pairs of stairs; and 
if I was a little behind, after I had exerted myself to my 
utmost to keep up, a few raps over the head w^as my 
salutation, and my victuals were constantly moistened 
and salted with tears. A scarcity of provisions was 
another cause of lamentation among the poor culprits. 
I was glad to see the season of grass and weeds; and 
many a time, after eating my meals, have I filled my 
maw with weeds, without regard to their name or na- 
ture. I was not alone in this practice ; every one that 
could get a chance eagerly partook as I did. 

While undergoing the extreme hardships of this last 
term of confinement at Sing-Sing, I ever cherished a 
sensation of gratitude as alluding to my sentence. But 
this gratitude did not belong to man, neither could I 
render it to man. The law alone restrained some of 
the keepers from taking my life. " Well," says one, 
'• you must have been ugl}?-.*' Not so. I felt perfectly 
resigned, and heartily willing to comply with the rules 
of the prison ; but heartily to comply with the fiend like 
disposition ofmany of the keepers I could not, although 



199 

n visible acts I did my utmost to comply. I was sea 
-ible that community at large were n-ot aware of their 
rigorous practices. I was also sensible that spectators, 
and even committees, w^ere by some means duped in 
reference to the fare of my unhappy companions. I 
was also aware that the testimony of a man like me, or 
any convict^ would be little regarded. But I made up 
my mind, long before I got my liberty, that when 1 did 
get out, I would make an effort, and stick to truth, in 
publishing nothing but what I had felt and seen. 

A man, one day, was ordered by a keeper to drill a 
hole in a rock which the keeper pointed to. The man 
got a drill, and went to the rock; as he knew not the 
precise spot, he mildly asked the keeper where he 
should make the hole. " Go to work, you scoundrel !'' 
replied the keeper. The man commenced, but he did 
not hit a spot that suited his taskmaster, who sprang 
towards the poor fellow in a rage, and commenced 
thumping him over the head, arms, and thighs with his 
cudgel; the poor fellow kept shifting his drill from 
place to place, till the rage of the fiend was somewhat 
abated, and he left one victim only to commence with 
another — thus going on from one to another, as if his 
<v'oracious appetite could not be cloyed. 

I was at work one day w^ith a gang ; we were pull- 
ting on a long rope that w^as fastened to the end of a 
iong heavy pole, for the purpose of prying rocks asun- 
der. A young inoffensive fellow among us, who was 
lame in his feet, happened to slip, and trip another 
man, so that they both fell. The young man w^as cali» 
<^d by the keeper (Mr. Paul Lent.) "Pull off your 
xoat, sir ]" The poor fellow began to plead innocent. 



200 

as to intention. Quick as lightning the cudgel met 
his skull, clip after clip. "Pull off your shirt, sir!'*' 
added the keeper; and not till the blood dropped from 
the unfortunate man's back, was he permitted to return 
to his labor. Once 1 was assisting about twenty men 
to load a stone about eleven ton weight on the trucks. 
The men's legs were so thick around it, that 1 could 
not get my bar between them without caution ; w^hile 
trying to find a place, 1 received the swift force of the 
keeper's cudgel on my pate, which soon let the- 
blood into my shoes. At another time, I innocently 
(as it regarded what I then committed) shared a simi- 
lar fate. All this w^as nothing, compared with the low 
practice of pinching our intestines to fill their purses. 
Mr. Marshall, the deputy keeper, flogged me once for 
having tvv'o small potatoes, and a bit of bread, in the 
lining of my coat. I had taken them out of another 
man's dish after breakfast, while passing along on the 
gallery. It was a practice among us, (as it frequently 
happened that some were sick or ailing, and did not 
sat the whole of their allowance,) that they would 
reach out their kid, that is, a little tub that contains 
their victuals, for another to avail himself of its con- 
tents. This was done without speaking, or even a 
whisper; but if we were seen by the ever watchful 
eye of the keeper, both the giver and receiver were 
severely flogged. I have frequently seen farmers corner 
with their carts and oxen, and take ofl' loads of our 
provisions for swill. The price was somehow divided 
among the keepers. 1 understood that it was the per- 
quisite of Mr. Marshall. The fact is, as near as I know 
by experience and information, we were cheated out 
of about one-quarter of our rights of provisions before 



201 

it was cooked, and another quarter afterwards. Is this 
the way to mitigate the evil passions of inte'ligent be- 
ings? Do they not perceive that they are suffering 
for your aggrandizement, to support that same pride 
and sensual nature that causes them to suffer? Do 
those poor wretches not know that the law allows them 
enough to eat? Y( s ; and they also know that they 
are defrauded, and that to enrich some of iheir tyran- 
nical oppressors. Can you overcome evil with evil? 
Had 1 not been stored with a measure of grace before 
I got there, the evil example constantly exhibited be- 
fore my eyes, (not by convicts,) v^ould have as con- 
stantly kept my mind in irritation, and forever pre 
vented grace from entering ; but the word of God was 
my guide and support. 1 have no doubt but some of 
my readers will be filled with disgus% when i tell about 
grace, and the word of God — as if my past conduct 
were unpardonable, if there should be any such, let 
them examine the foundation of their prejudice; for I 
am well aware that none who share in this grace 
whereof i speak, will condemn. If you feel the demerit 
of my sins more than 1 do, then 1 am in danger; if the 
Spirit reproves you of my sins, and not of your own, 1 
leave you to judge your case; if your heart is hum- 
bled, and your works just, and you feel an entire de- 
pendence on God to establish you in the love of Christ, 
i have no cause to fear your censures. Whatever may 
be your judgment concerning me, I feel safe. 

In 1832 the cholera commenced among us, and 
about 160 were delivered from the power of worldly 
oppressors. This, you may say, was a severe judg- 
ment on those wretches= Billy creature, if you thut 



m2 

judge] Are we not all subjects of death — -saints ani 
sinners? Then this was no uncommon judgment on 
them that died; but fact proves that it was a warning 
to me, and all that survived— yea, even the lofty keep- 
ers, who little regarded the mercy of God in sparing 
them. What could be belter calculated to strike so- 
lemnity through the soul, and fill it with the fear of 
Cfod, than to see eight or ten of their fellow-beings, of 
ihe same form with themselves, going daily to the 
grave — to hear the sound of the hammer ringing 
through the vaulted space of the prison five or six 
times during the night, nailing up coffins — -and to hear 
the dismal groans of the poor creatures that were. at- 
tacked in their cells, and the constant rapping for as- 
sistance, with their spoons, on the iron gates of the cell 
doors? If this was not enough to strike a dread on 
the living, I know not what would. During this whole 
calamity, I never for a moment felt worthy to escape 
the scourge, and never felt afraid : but firmly trusted 
'that, like Job's servant, I should be spared to tell the 
news. My desire is, that gratitude may never di- 
minish. 

'* Thus 'tis alone of grace Til boast. 
And 'tis aJone in grace I'll trust; 
For all that's past, grace h my theme, 
For what's to come, 'tis still the same." 

There are very few that arc so hardened, after ex- 
periencing such punishment for their folly, as they 
have to endure in Sing-Sing prison, but would be will- 
ing to lead an honest liiey if they could appear in pub- 
lic as other men. I know that there are exceptious^ 



20^ 



but in general they feel humble, as if their chastening 
had been enough; but they are turned out of ibis place 
so poorly clad, that decent people will not have them 
in their houses. For my part, I had difficulty to gt< 
lodging for mone^^, in the city of New-York; nor 
could 1 get at all in a decent house ; but had to tako 
up my lodging in a low place, where I got a body- 
guard of German ducks, that took the plaits of my 
shirt for their parade ground. My intention was to 
get a berth on board of some vessel, and take a voyago 
to sea; but when I solicited any captain, they would 
turn from me with disdain ; and some of them that I 
knew wanted hands, would tell me they wanted non-e. 
I steered my course into the country, u here, after 
tramping without food, or money to get it with, and, 
one night beino obliged to give a Bible that was pre- 
sented to me in New- York, for my lodging, 1 at last 
got into a place where I worked a while, and obtained 
some clothes. At first, I was under tl e necessity of 
pullino my shirt off, after all were asleep, wash and 
dry it by the stove, and then put it on and go to bed. 
If such are the effects of the benevolent institutions of 
our religious country, I say, with one of old: " O my 
soul, come not thou into their secret ; unto their as- 
sembly, mine honour, be not thou united !" Now, sup- 
posing they were better provided for by our benevolent 
men in authority, who, if they were not quite so eove- 
tous, might easily spare as much as the coinict had 
earned during his confinement; 1 ask, where could bft 
the evil? But the objection is, the poor degraded 
wretches would only get drunk, and spend it foolishly. 
Bvthis objection, you must hav>^ little fuith in the utifi- 



204 

ty of your institutions. Why don't you make a law 
to keep them in prison for life, if you think they don't 
get any better? When your exampl- agrees with your 
profession of benevolence, and not till then, need you 
expect to reclaim the vile wretch over whom you have 
influence, and over whom you sit in authority. But 
what have 1 to do with these things? Only to keep 
clear, now 1 am clear. 

By the traverse courses 1 have attempted to delineate 
in the foregoing pages, you will, I suppose, conclude 
that I must be somewhere not far from the coast of eter- 
nal despair. That might have been my sad condition, 
if the thundering voice of conviction had not made 
such a tremendous noise about the hatchway of my soul, 
and waked up Mr. Conscience, the pilot — who, after 
sounding many times, and sailing under easy sail, ascer= 
tained the approximate danger my ship was in ; and, as 
I was very weak-handed, my pilot urged me to call for 
Grace to help to work the ship, and Mr. Grace came 
to my assistance. My ship was near the stupendous 
craggy rocks of despair; under my lee, the hurricane 
of temptation was bellowing through my riggmg; the 
dismal black clouds of discouragement made the night 
darker, if possible, than ever Egypt v^^as; and the suc- 
ceeding billows of distrust, foaming, raging, and dash- 
ing over m^r mast heads, and the glaring, vivid flash- 
es oPconfusion, made up the doleful scene. But, thanks 
be to Grace, we got the ship on the other tack.— 
Jt fell away calm; the lightning ceased; the lower- 
ing clouds began to disperse; the ocean becam.e 
smooth; 1 got out my oars of prayer; I soon per- 
e-eivtd that I began to lengthen my distance from the 



205 

dismal coast. I have been rowing with little inter- 
mission ever since; the pilot has never closed his 
oyf'S since that alarming night; and says he never 
will; though he is well aware that grace does all 
t!ie work, he also knows that if gets asleep again, 
Grace will leave us; and he might not be so ready 
to come at onr call, if we should again be caught 
so near the dangerous coast of despair, through our 
own neglect. 

Reader! aint tiiis all nonsense? If you should hap- 
pen to get on shore on that land of despair, 1 am of 
opinion tliat you will wish you had called for Grace, 
who would have told you how to use the oar of prayer. 
Objection — " You are mad, man. Will you dare to fput 
me on a level with yourself?" I answer : By no means. 
But see here, friend— Is your oonscience wide awake? 
If it is, may be it don't justly regard the truth. You 
are an intelligeiit being — a moral agent ; and thougli 
you cannot destroy creution, what you can do you can 
do riglit or wrong, at ycur own will ; and the smalles? 
deviation from a known truth, as it regards your thought>^ 
or actions, leaves you under obligatiouo to call for 
Grace, without whose assistance you can never be deti 
from guilt. I am. truly aware of the dangerous stato 
of mind that, alas! too many of my feilow-beings am 
in. They think thtyare good enough. Fatal delu- 
sion ! *' Weil,*' says one, ** I don't want lo read any 
more about your religion. The world is full on't. I 
can't pick up a book, or a bit of pa[)er as l)ig as a shil- 
ling, but what has some of your d ~d priestcraft on 

it." Weil, all the consolation I can give you is— What 
V0U call the superfluity of religion, must^ and will add 



205 

fa our condemnation if we reject it. I don't like priest ^ 
craft any better than you do, and 1*11 never be tied to 
any sect on earth. 

As I have been out of prison some tinae, I suppose 
you'd like to know what I've been about since I got my 
liberty. I'll try to gratify you as much as I can, if I do 
put myself out of my course a little ; seeing the pilot is 
awake to look out ahead ; and I'll try to keep a bright 
t3ye to the windward ; for my commodore, tl^e truth, is 
stationed there. ] expect that many, who, throtigh cu- 
riosity, are persuaded to patronize me in buying this lit- 
tic work, will be ready to say that they are intrigued* 
That will be a hard one on me, if it is true. But this I 
have for consolation, viz : that those who regard the 
truth will not condemn me ; and those who care not for 
the truth will only get disappointed with the truth ; and 
I pity them- 

I went from Sing-Sing to New- York, in a steani ves- 
sel, and (raced the wharves, from ship to ship, in quest 
ofa berth for two days ; but 'twas in vain. I had to 
sleep on a bench, or on the floor, in a watch-house, and 
two different times I mustered spunk enough to ask for 
some cold cuts at the back door. This was extremely 
operose on my mind, and, I thought, if I must beg my 
bread at last, I'll make sail into the country, and bring 
up among the farmers. This was in December, 1832 ; 
and I weathered it pretty well until February. As I had 
made out honestly to get a few clothes, I started for 
New- York again, thihking to get a berth on some ves- 
sel. I got a ride a few miles, and it was the most blus- 
tering and cold day that I ever suffered in. Just after 
dark, I arrived at a village called Wrye ; and when I 



2i)7 

g(3t iiiio a house, I srr:ipid haif-a-pitit of ice off my face f 
and aliliough 1 liad tuentj-five cents, and offered to pay 
for my lodging, I went from liouse to liouse, till eleven 
o'clock, entreating the people to let me stay, but u\ vain. 
Tills is a hard story, but it is true, I went to the justice 
of the peace, and he told me to go to the tavern. 1 
pM hirn I had been there two or tliree timeb*, and had 
been denied. '* Well," said he, *• go ngain ; I ^uess 
they'll let you stay." 1 did go, and was again cV^iied. 

At la.st I got about tJie centre of the village, and 
sung out ** Alurder !" repeatedly as loud os 1 could yell : 
but as I had called at every house, they knew who it 
was, and were not alarmed. After a while, J went to 
a back door of the tavern, and, without knocking, en- 
tered the room and took a seat. The landlord had toW- 
nic, a sh.ort time previous, that his wife and some of his 
children v.-ere sick; it m/Iglit have been the case — but 
they must have had a skilful physician, fur v/hen I en- 
tered they were all merry, gnd the kndlord pretty well 
corned. He approached with a pitcher in his hands,, 
flaying, *• You njay have some cider, but you can't slay 
here." I told him I wanted civility and humanity, not 
cider : and that 1 believed I could stay there, if he had 
any feehngs. His wife spake, and 'twas done. What 
there was in my appearance or physiognomy tliat ex- 
cited their terror, I have not 3-et found out. 1 assure 
you that, whatever they did surmise of evil, it was not 
in me; for I felt as humble as a puppy, and perfectly 
harmless. The next morning, which was Sunday, after 
giving the last cent I bad to the landlord, 1 started with- 
out any breakfast, and footed it to New- York, a distance 
&f SO miles ; and took up my old lodgings in Eldridge- 



208 

street, at the watch-house ; from thence I went on Mon- 
day to a sailor boarding-house. Though my old fami- 
liar habits were constantly exhibited all around me, { 
made out to keep the pilot awake, and in ten days 1 got 
a berth on board of a London line packet, in which I 
performed a very tedious voyage. My days lor seaiiian- 
ship had gone by. It was mortifying to my spirit, though 
I had been to the lowest notch of degradation, whicli 
my shipmates knew nothing about. I say it was disa- 
greeable to be willing to go ahead, and after striving to 
do so, be li^ft in the rear. My shipmates and the officers 
were sensible of my ambition, and favoured me greatly, 
but advised me to try to get a livelihood on shore, if I 
could ; and as my bodily infirmities will not allow me 
to be much agitated, I siiall try to get along as well as 
I can ; steer with a small helm ; try to keep the pilot 
awake; keep a bright eye to the windward on my com- 
modore tir3 truth ; sell as many of these books as the 
people have a mind to purchase, and tiy to make good 
use of the proceeds. 

Do you ask what religious society I belong lol I'll 
soon give you my views on that subject. As a con- 
demned culprit, 1 constantly i'etA dependent on the au- 
thor of my existence for salvation, through the merits 
of Christ. I go to any churcli that seems to me best 
on the occasion-— comply with their rules — 'li^ien atten- 
lively— en-ibrace all tliat agrees with reason and the 
word of God — avoiding all human creeds and traditions 
of men —^concluding all sects measurably iu error, and 
measurably riglit. For the last five years I have, for 
instruc'tion and information, been a strict observer of 
practices, bolli civil and ecclesiastical, imtionaliy, collec- 



1^09 

tiTely, and individually ; and my conclusion is, that nnen 
are ignorant, selfish, and imperfectly to be irusted, since 
the faU of man. In every order of men, selfishness 
points to some inten st of self, as steadily as the needle 
does to the pole. Tlie clergy make creeds, which par- 
take of the imperfections of iheir authors ; and where 
is their authority to bind men's consciences ? Every 
man mu^t receive the law at the month of Christ, and 
give personally an account of himself to his Creator^ 



CONCLUSION- 



Life's failures and troubles must still be my lot , 
Hope's joys are but bubbles, and pleasures are not; 
There may be some roses my path to adorn, 
But truth presupposes they'll ail wear a thorn. 

As it is now over six years since I have altered the 
objects of my pursuit, and have been enjoying a regu- 
lar course of civih'zed society, it may be interesting to 
some of my readers to know what I have been about. 
I shall therefore give a short, impartial description. 

While I was in Sing-Sing prison, I made up my 
mind, (for the honour of justice,) that when I should 
get my liberty, I would write a pamphlet, describing 
what I knew to be the truth concerning the uncharita- 
We treatment that most of the keepers exhibited to the 
14 



210 

miserable inmates of the prison. I did not cherish the 
anticipation of the task with delight, but to the reverse. 
When I thought of it, a solemn awe rested on my mind 
I could not persuade myself that those culprits did not 
deserve severe afflictions, and on this ground I put it 
off. Then again, the arrogance of the keepers would 
come in view. Many of the convicts are very much 
hardened, and will persuade themselves that they are 
ill treated, do what you will ; but even in this case,, 
prompt integrity,, with mild means, are the best ; for a 
cynical spirit will nevev beget Jove, {know, for I have 
tried it, that I can get a stubborn cross child to love me 
sooner by soft means, than some others can by bestow- 
ing many presents. I also considered, by my own 
measure, that in that prison there was many a sincere, 
tender-hearted mourner, many a bruised reed, that, if 
broken by the hard hammer of cruelty, might be lost 
to all eternity. Weighing these considerations, and 
finding the latter much the heavier, I determined to 
keep within the bounds of truth, -wrote the pamphlet, 
and entitled it " Five Years in State Prison." There 
was no small excitement drawn into operation in the 
minds of the people, v/hen, with a large literal show- 
bill, I commenced selling my stigmatizing pamphlet 
about the streets and markets of the city. It was not 
long before I could hear the boys m all directions cry- 
ing out, " Five years in State Prison ! here comes Five 
Years in State Prison!" This was truly humiliating 
to the natural man ; and had it not been that I was in 
straitened circnmstances, I think my pride would have 
overcome my desire to do good. But truth, extracted 
fro^ necessity, is as good as if it was on the foundation 



21i 

of prejudice. I sooa found, however, that necessity 
was but a poor safeguard for truth, in the estimation of 
most people. I was bold to attest to the truth of the 
above pamphlet, as being my own experience. Some 
wexe so swelled with haughty disdain, that they said, 
(seldom wichout an imprecation or an oath,) " You 
ought to go back, and stay there for life.'' It was hard 
for me to keep from retaliating ; sometimes I got ofTmy 
guard, but generally kept in mind that humility is bet- 
ter than pride. 

There were some gentlemen (I suppose I must term 
them) at a wholesale store, near Whitehall-street, one 
day, who asked me what I would take to read one of 
the pamphlets through? I made them no answer: 
they offered me, I think, twenty-five cents. I thought 
I could do it in less than an hour, and that would be 
good wages; but the condition was, that I was to 
mount, and stand on a pile of codfish, and m the form 
of an orator perform the task. As in the pamphlet the 
baseness oi my past acts was plainly developed, the task 
was not a small one. My boldness was not of the bra- 
zen sort, yet I hated to be defeated. They staked the 
money ; I mounted,; the force of my agitation produced 
the cold sweat, but I read on; while'they, observing 
my firmness, purchased a pamiphlet, left me the twenty- 
five cents, and retired. I sold eleven thousand of thes€ 
pamphlets ; but it took me so long, and my expenses 
were so great on steamboats, railroads, and other ways, 
that I did not make much. 

I must remark, that I met with but little opposition 
from the candid part of community. It was only from 
the vulo^ar and profane, and those who were constrained- 



212 

from vicious practices, and vulgar language, by policy* 
worldly honour, or what I shall term devilish, integri- 
ty, generally to be met vi^ith around hotels, theatres, and 
livery stables, on a Sunday morning. No preacher, 
and few other men, have the advantage that I had in 
selling those pamphlets, of obtaining a knowledge of 
the positions of the minds of men or youth. Those 
who had no internal knowledge of reformation, and 
were base themselves, seeing my exhibition, and hear- 
ing my confession, and taking me to be one of the vilest 
wretches on earth, blazed out in their natural and cor- 
rupted light. Had I been a man in reputation and 
credit, or had I been a preacher, or had I substantially 
proved myself innocent of the crimes for which I went 
to state prison, the vulgar and profligate would have 
thrown a garb of innocence over his evil propensities, 
which would have left me in the dark as to a know- 
ledge of his character. I also had frequent opportuni- 
ties of removing, or stirring up the erroneous preju- 
dices, that too easily get a seat in the minds of profes- 
sors of Christianity. Having but little knowledge of 
human creeds, or church government, (Alas, had I but 
continued so!) I went to the meetings where those at- 
tend with whom I was best acquainted, those that I took 
to be the warmest-hearted Christians — and that was 
mostly among the Methodists. I felt as if I were one 
of their number ; for one year before, J let them have 
my name on probation. At the end of the six months, 
I was welcomed as a member of that society, and con- 
tinued so to be about two years. During this time, I 
fell in wuth some strong written w^orks in favour of 
ynitarianism. such as the society termed Christians 



213 

][>rofess to hold to. The arguments they contained ap- 
peared to me to concur with the scripture, yet I did not 
wholly concede to them ; I was afraid of undervaluing 
the Redeemer. 

The strength of my faith in the Methodist doctrmes 
\vas much impaired by the practice of some of their of- 
ficial members, the particulars of which I do not wish 
to relate, as it was trifling, only the common fallibility 
-of man, so prone to be allured by the love of self, pow- 
^r, and opulence. I read a celebrated work on the 
doctrine of the trinity, commenced by Fletcher, and 
finished by Joseph Benson. But this did not balance 
the account; the matter in my estimation was yet the 
heaviest in the unitarian scale. I could not view the 
Saviour in the light of ancient unitarianism, as a mere 
man, neither could I see a glimpse of him in the splen- 
did blaze of prevailing trinitarianism, as the self existing 
Supreme First Cause of all creation. 1 prayed to God 
according to the direction of St. James, first chapter, 
and fifth verse; and used my endeavours to act accord- 
ing to the direction of Christ himself, recorded in the 
7th chapter of John, 16th and 17th verses. This, all 
will acknowledge to be the only right way, (the con- 
firmed infidel, with some others, excepted.) Whence, 
"ihcH, so much discussing and debating? What is the 
amount of it, in the true Christian light? For my 
rpart, I feel a ponderous weight of obligation to guard 
•against it. But so strong is the desire for the gratifi- 
»cation of self-will, in most people, that they are easily 
infatuated: for, let a man have the most strict desire, 
heartfelt, internally, to adhere to the import of the Bi- 
ble, though his argument be intuitive, if it crosses the 



214 

established notion, it is rejected. How often do yotr 
hear, after the preacher has been slinging iire-brands 
at those he rejects, as embracing erroneous tenets, 
among the dispersing congregation, " Did'nt he give 
it to them? was'nt that a good one for them," &c. 
This exhibits to me the spirit of Jehu, " Come, see my 
zeal for the house of the Loid.'^ Don't think by the 
above, that I wish to convey the idea that I am perfect, 
or as perfect as I might, or ought to be. Alas for 
me! this is not the case ; I too often have to lament 
that my zeal outgoes my knowledge. But I have a 
powerful help at hand, always ready, when I call; na 
less than that Spirit which the Lord said should come 
into the world, to reprove of sin, righteousness, and 
judgment ; and I ever hope to cherish a sense of gra- 
titude, as I know I am gaining ground. If I fall, it 
will be my own fault. I would have remarked that 
every condition, recorded in the Bible, for us to make 
use of, is followed by a promise. If we do not fail to 
eomply with the condition, be sure that God will not 
fail to bestow the promise, which is no less than the 
pearl of great price. 

*' I care not for government's stock, 
I covet no Mexican mine; 
Let prudence my cabinet lock,^ 
And never expose it to swine. 

They know not its beauty, forsooth ; 
They cannot its uses unfold ; 
Go buy it from heaven, dear youths 
Nor sell it for millions of gold." 



2i5 

1 have come to ihc conclusion, of late, that I will 
iiot be troubled about the '* Lo heres, or lo theres;" for 
a few reasons, which it will probably be no harm to 
explain. I conclude that error exists, in a greater or 
less degree, among every class of Christian professors, 
as a community. To the reverse of this, much truth is 
intended, and in operation among the fame. I feel un- 
der no obligation, as it regards tenets, to any society; 
for I got my knowledge from the Bible : and my wis- 
dom, be it little or much, from the same fountain from 
whence ail Christians profess to obtain theirs. But I 
do feel undur obligations to give credit to every indi- 
vidual by whom I am enlightened and instructed. I 
look upon every house, or place of Christian devotion, 
to be designed as a place to worship the only God of 
the Jew and Christian. Hopeing to meet him there, 
I feel free to enter. By this freedom, I have a chance 
to judge for myself, and not take a hearsay to judge 
my fellows with; striving to live by no law, but the 
iaw of faith and good works. "Yes," says one, "I 
think your policy is good on your own behalf; you 
cixn go through the world, and have no one to watch 
you." To such I can only say — Poor silly creature ! 
what is an eye-servant good for? and what if I should 
be watched by one society, and that only where I am 
known, if inclined to vice or folly, hovv^ easy I could 
pass for anything but a Christian where I was not 
known 

I would not give much for that man's religion, who 
would hide from God, if it were possible. 

As it regards the trinity and unity of God, I have 
#ome to the conclusion that Jesus Christ was God m^- 



2t6 

nifest in the flesh, and the only person in the Godhead, 
as they term it. God is admitted to be a spirit, with" 
out body or parts. You can find it among chaich ar^ 
tides. I think if the great Infinite Power had ever 
intended to be personified by finite mortals, he would 
have made himsei^f visible to them. As we have no 
account of his ever doing this, I shall take the liberty, 
fcom scripture authority, of estimating for myself 
Christ the person of the living God. And if the Ho- 
ly Spirit can be personified as a part of the one Ba- 
prenie God, so far, every one that is a partaker of 
this blessed Spirit, is identified as being part of the per- 
ton of God. 

The ideas stand thus with me: God, the power, ope- 
rating by his spirit in us, this we can only feel; thia 
is the most satisfactory evidence of his existence. God 
the Son, in person, giving us an example how to obtain 
that comforting spirit, of which his share was without 
measure. These are ideas concurring with the import 
of scripture, and easy comprehended. By comprehend- 
ed I mean ideas in the head ; but joy consists in th& 
ieeling of the heart. 

I had pretty well run out the sale of my state prison 
pamphlet, in the fall of 1835, when I received a letter 
from a rich uncle, who resided in Kentucky. As I 
had written a large manuscript, my object was to ob- 
tain assistance from him to get it printed. I had cash 
enough to pay for the printing and paper of 2,0OC^ 
more of my pamphlets. These were to bear my ex- 
pences on my long journey. I went to Philadelphia * 
but as I had sold over a thousand in that city the sum- 
mer previous, I had not much success. So I took the 



217 

fail-road, and was landed in Lancaster. As I was a 
stranger in that place, I happened to put up at rather 
an ordinary house, kept by a social, free-hearted Hi- 
bernian. No sooner had he learned that I had been a 
sailor, than he invited nie to drink with him. This is 
a comnaon practice, too prevailing in its effects of draw- 
ing custom ; but I refused to be drove by that teamster ; 
I balked with him: I told him I should be a poor cus- 
tomer at the bar; and he could not but commend me 
for my determination. The landlord had an old cus- 
tomer, who was then absent. He came home the next 
day. He was a man of wealth, but a hard drinker. 
The landlord spoke much to his praise during the first 
evening that I staid there. My bed the first night was 
a hard one, and I dreaded going to bed the next night; 
but was agreeably disappointed by finding myself con- 
ducted to the best bed in the house ; w^hile the favourite 
old customer occupied the one I slept on the night pre* 
rious. 

I do not wish to boast of my goodness ; but thus you 
see scripture fulfilled — ''When a man's ways please 
the Lord, he maketh his enemies to be at peace with 
him." 

I started from Lancaster, and was about three weeks 
in gettingto Pittsburgh, stopping at villages, along the 
Juniatta and Johnstown canals. In Pittsburgh, I 
made out well; then purchased a small skiflT, put my 
boxes and trunk in her, and launched off into the plea- 
sant Ohio. She was deeply laden ; and the rapid cur- 
rent soon bore me from under the thick smoky gloom 
that constantly hangs over and surTounds the city of 
Pittsburgh. I could now congratulate myself as being 



218 

master of my own ship and cargo. I stopped at Bea- 
ver, Liverpool, Wellsvilie, and Steubenviile. Before 
i got ready to start from the latter place, the Ohio, 
river was ahnost covered with ice ; and the people told 
rae it was impossible for me to proceed ; but they knew 
not that I had taken my first vojngeovev a dam in the 
Hudson river before I was nine years of age. I shoved 
off It was seven miles to Wellshurgh, on the oppo- 
site side of the river. I was safe landed at that place 
in a little more than an hour after I started. Here I 
put up for the night; but on looking at my watch, I 
found it was about 3 in the morning, and concluded to 
start. Ihad 500 miles to go, and had no notion of get- 
ting frozen up, if I could help it. The landlord thought 
I was crazy, when I routed him up to pay my bill. — 
But I got my cargo in my skifl^ and shoved off among 
the ice. My object was to get to Wheeling, a distance 
of 16 miles. But, in all my seafaring life, I was never 
so near being lost; it was intensely cold, and I had to 
use my utmost exertions to keep from stiffening. I 
sold my skiff at Wheeling, took the steamboat, and, af- 
ter running the greatest part of our passage through 
the ice, I was landed at Port William, Kentucky. I 
found m}^ uncle the nabob of that part of the country. 
Though I was welcomely received, I found him rather 
a hard customer — a slaveholder; and, as I had no 
knack of flattery, but promptly, in conversation, spoke 
the sentiments of my mind, I did not succeed in my 
object of getting my work printed. The insignificant, 
selfish pride that was in constant operation in my un- 
cle's family, so disgusted me, that I remained v/ith 
them but a short time. But I made an honourable re- 



219 

tiTal. I purchased a quantity of pamphlets and song 
books, at Cincinnati, which were repugnant to my 
principles. With these I could not prosper. I also 
bought a quantity of jewelry ; and though it was my 
interest to dispose of it, yet I could not conscientiously 
recommend it; but often dissuaded customers, espe- 
cially youth, from purchasing them. This was owing 
to a contrast in my mental powders, desire and wmH, 
acting in opposition to conscience. 

The above, and some other mismanagement of my 
affairs, was the means of my having once more to wear 
thin clothes, with empty pockets. I have just laid out 
the last three cents for a candle to finish this copy by. 
So, good night. 

Yox3NG people of our nation, 
Of skilful information. 
Who wish to hold a station 

In probity and praise ! 
Just take me for a sample : 
Avoid my bad example ; 
On reason do not trample, 

And vv'aste your youthful days. 

Just listen to my story, 
It is not one of glory ; 
ni give an inventory 

Of many vicious acts : 
I know that seme will pity, 
While others feel so witty, 
They'll scorn my serious ditty, 

And launch at sincere facts. 



2^0 

At nine years old I started, 
From friends and home I parted^ 
Gtuite light and single-hearted. 

My mother she was dead ; 
My mind in constant motion, 
To sail I had a notion, 
Across the boist'rous ocean, 

With ardent speed I fled. 

False hope was my conductor^ 
And fate my sole instructor ; 
Discomfort, that obstructor, 

Stood often in my way ; 
Urg'd on by inclination, 
Each passion held its station, 
With little permutation, 

I gave my mind to play. 

When war's wild blast was blowing, 
Arm'd ships to sea were going, 
Ambitious minds were flowing, 

The simple to allure; 
Their music so delightful, 
Vv^ho would have thought them spiteful I 
To me It was not frightful, 

I thought their object pure. 

To sail I then enlisted. 
By flattering fools assisted, 
In bondage I was twisted, 

To face the daring foe ; 
'T was there I had a sample 
Of every bad example. 
To teach me how to trample. 

And from the truth to go. 



221 

Thus many years pursuing-, 
Each distant country viewing-, 
I never thought of ruing, 

But practis'd every sin : 
In trouble oft detected, 
By folly not affected, 
Conipanions 1 selected. 

Of Satan's nearest kin. 
By fancy I was guided, 
Integrity derided, 
From probity I slided, 

And truih I left behind ; 
But conscience often told me 
That God in guilt would hold rne. 
And death would soon enfold me, 

God's justice I should find. 
I knew, without repentance, 
That God would pass the sentence, 
And send me where relentance 

Could give me no relief: 
I felt that I was tending, 
The downward road descendin_e, 
And dismal fate impending, 

I thought of no reprieve. 

There was no real pleasure 
In all my vicious treasure, 
It was too scanty measure 

To satisfy my soul ; 
But short was the duration 
Of every good sensation ] 
I trampled on probation, 

As passing time did roll. 



222 

W" hile on the ocean prowling, 
Where boist'rous waves were rolling 
And whistling winds were howling, 

It wa5 my constant aim, 
Of w^ages to be saving, 
To gratify my craving 
For pleasure, almost raving, 

My m^ind was light and vain. 

in battle, what a wonder, 
Where cannons roar like thunder. 
Ail for the sake of plunder. 

And sanctioned by the wise : 
Where balls like hail a flying, 
Some gasping, others dying. 
Poor wounded souls a crying, 

A hell without disguise. 

My learning thus I gained, 
My course I still maintained, 
My native land regained, 

. And sanguine war was stayed. 
By habit grown so vicious, 
Of justice not suspicious, 
My practice was pernicious, 

While crime on crime I laid. 

Often for sin I grieved, 

For grace my bosom heaved, 

The Bible I believed. 

When soberly inclined ; 
But sad inebriation 
Excited my vexation, 
And drove each obligation 

Far distant -from my mind. 



223 

I had no satisfaction ; 
For eveiy vicious action 
Increased my mind's distraction. 

In retrospective view. 
But mercy kept her station. 
While bold infatuation, 
With skilful penetration, 

So closely did pursue. 
At last I was arrested, 
My guilt was manifested, 
Of liberty divested, 

In prison I was bound, 
By former hopes forsaken, 
By justice overtaken, 
Dull conscience to awaken, 

My character I found. 
Three years for meditation, 
To list my inclination, 
By self-examination, 

What more could grace besiovv 7- 
I thought I had perfection, 
My wall was in subjection, 
By tracing the direction, 

The scriptures plainly show. 

Now here I was at leisure 
To seek the heavenly treasure, 
Which fills the soul "with pleasure, 

Surpassing worldly joy. 
I found, by strict perpension, 
That great was my declension 
Ot righteous comprehension, 

Which tended to destroy. 



224 

I felt a strong desire 

To gain the haliow'd fire. 

That would my soul inspire, 

And set my spirit free; 
Formality I gained, 
No farther I attained, 
Yet hope I still retained 

That happy I should he. 

Once more I was deceived, 

Of liberty bereaved, 

And two years more was grieved, 

In servile servitude; 
Once more my heart exploring, 
And fatal case deploring, 
I could not help imploring 

Though God should me exclude, 

This last and great restriction 
Wrought in me deep conviction ; 
I felt the just affliction, 

The fruit of my own choice. 
I form'd a resolution, 
To shun the world's pollution, 
And frame a constitution 

By Wisdom's lovely vocce. 



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